How do you deal with not being able to hold LO?

[Ninagrrl]

Just looking for some suggestions on how to deal with not being able to hold your LO. My daughter had a central line put in last night but it's too fragile for me to hold or BF her. I understand that it is necessary and means she will be in less pain and therefore get better sooner this way but I'm so devastated by this that I can't sleep. I need to sleep so I can be there for her as much as possible.

 

[Cheska]

Awh sorry your going through this right now.

How small is your little girl?

You could hold her hand and talk to her she will get to smell mummy and know she is there.

I used to sleep with a comforter and then leave it in my little boys incubator so he had his mamas scent.

Hope you can cuddle each other soon x

 

[Ninagrrl]

She's actually not small. She was 7lbs 14oz at birth and is now 8lbs at only 4days old, so she is doing great there. She isn't a preemie I just have health problems that effected her blood sugar and she got an infection so her body didn't regulate on its own. She's a chunky little thing though and has a cherub face with big cheeks and a double chin!! Everyone loves her already, she's so sweet. Here is a pic of her.

https://imageshack.us/a/img823/7222/tu3x.jpg

 

[kit10grl]

Before andright after DD's open heart surgery we weren't allowed to hold her so the nicu nurses told me about a technique to let her know we were there. I cnat for the life of me remember the exact term but its like comfort touching, or something like that. It was essentially putting your hand across her forehead and holding it steady there. like you were checking for a temperature on an older child. They said sometimes new babies find stroking irritating or they get overstimulated from it. This gives just enough pressure to know your there but without upsetting them. I didn't believe it worked until she was about 6 weeks old but did it consistently anyway. At six weeks shewas transferred back to our local hospital and we couldn't travel with her in theambulance. She arrived first obviously. When we walked in she was crying and the nurse was fussing with her. I placed my hand on her forehead and she stopped crying instantly cos she knew it was me. I kept it there till thenurse was finished andi could pick her up again.

Its so hard cos I felt absolutely useless at first just sitting with my hand on her but it does help them. I also got a load of my sons books and took them to the hospital to read to her. I felt really awkward talking to her in ICU with a nurse right there asi couldn't think of what to say. The books gave me stuff to say that I didn't have to think about so I felt less awkward and she still got to hear my voice too. If they willlet you I would also recommend Ewan the dream sheep. He plays white noise (womb sounds, heartbeat noises etc) I put him in the incubator with her from very early (we bought him in advance as we knew she would be in nicu for a long time) he helped her to relax a lot too. she still sleeps with him now every night she has him on to fall asleep. (turn the light off though or he eats the batteries in no time)

 

[Foxybabyhg3]

I felt more confident holding DD when she had a central line put in as opposed to a PICC, the nurses told me it was a lot stronger and stable than a PICC. Do your nurses get her out for you? They can adjust her so it doesn't pull etc. Shes beautiful btw

Here's my DD in NICU with the central line. She had that as well as normal cannulas. You can see it looks much more secure than other lines

 

[Srrme]

I am so sorry. When we couldn't hold our boys, we cupped the top of their head and their feet with our hands. It comforted them.

 

[Ninagrrl]

I felt more confident holding DD when she had a central line put in as opposed to a PICC, the nurses told me it was a lot stronger and stable than a PICC. Do your nurses get her out for you? They can adjust her so it doesn't pull etc. Shes beautiful btw

Here's my DD in NICU with the central line. She had that as well as normal cannulas. You can see it looks much more secure than other lines

The central line was a low lie because they couldn't get it that far in. It was in only by 5cm and actually began leaking so they took it out and did a picc. It's much more stable than the central so I think that depends on the baby. When they told us they were putting in the central they didn't mention not being able to hold her until it was already in. They've had trouble all along with her veins and drawing blood so I'm not surprised the central didn't go in like they wanted. The picc isn't even in that far but is a lot farther in then the central and is a smaller line then central as well. I'm able to hold her again and already fed and held her.

 

[4 boys]

Congratulations on your little one
As a mum to 4 premature babies, not been able to hold your baby is a heart killer my heart felt like it had been ripped out its so tough seeing your baby laid there, so many lines ,wires ,medicines problems and when they cry 'oh no ' I just couldn't bare it!!
But after a while you get used to seeing your baby in a way you'll never forget. I just used to hold his hand/ fingers and wait for them precious times to hold comfort him.

It will get easier but sleep is best for a baby let baby take the lead they'll be plenty of cuddles- love and kisses when baby home

Leave a small teddy/ comfort with your smell on and baby will know your there

 

[Jes.shortcake]

I didn't get to see my son for 24 hours bc I was hooked up to magnesium sulfate and I couldn't hold Silas for 12 days. I would just place my hand on his head and feet and talk to him. The first time I was able to hold him was the best feeling!

 

[elixir]

My son is 3 days old n had TTN after c sect n now he has gastric aspirate coming out so i hvnt held him or fed him. its killing me, i cant bear the site of him lying there with wires n needles.

 

[kazzzzy]

I couldn't hold Emily until she was 12 days old, it was just hearbreaking, I used to hold her hand a lot through the doors of the incubator & sometimes put my hand on her back, the day I got to do kangaroo care was amazing, I'll never forget holding her for the 1st time, hope your DD is better soon, take care

 

[Cheska]

She's beautiful.

How is she doing?