How do you keep going?

[FEDup1981]

...when you feel like you can really take no more?

AF got me today. First time we could try again since the ectopic. We went away on monday - back today - and my whole week has been ruined with testing, symptom spotting and now AF.

I honestly feel like my heart has broken, and im EXTREMELY bitter towards others who are newly pregnant.

How do you cope? Seriously? x

 

[babydust1]

it is hard and emotional but what makes me carry on is that its an addiction of what i want and because i want it i wont stop till i get it. ive tried for 4 years now and i know i wont give up because i cant... if i give up now even though my heart breaks i'll never forgive my self because i'd of felt i never did good enough or tried hard enuff.. i know when i get my miracle and then look back on these years i'll then know every second / min i waited would have been worth it,

i hope you find the strenth to go on i hope you get your BFP soon hunni

Never Consider The Possibility Of Failure; As Long As You Persist, You Will Be Successful

Its ok to feel like you do it doesnt mean your weak it means you've been strong for way to long!

when you feel like giving up, remember why u held on for so long! xx

 

[MrsF]

sorry you've had such a crappy week hun x x x

bitterness is a normal reaction / feeling mate, i've felt / feel that many times. I guess it's about how we deal with the feelings thats important.

i don't really know how we cope. I guess i just do, because i have to. I can't imagine a life without children, so not trying is like giving in. The biggest thing that works for me is allowing myself to feel shit, and depressed, and cry and scream, and sob when i need to (i did this for literally, the whole of august doing this). If i bottle it up i know it would do me serious damage. It's ok to feel the negative stuff, cos once that's gone, we can feel the optimism once more. I took 7 or so months out of TTC, and it was so god damn refreshing not symptom spotting, etc, and now i'm back in the reigns again, so excited and full of optimism.

I'm entering my 6th year of ttc, and i'm lucky to have a supportive DH.

Find time for yourself to do all the things you love, mine = holidays, cooking, baking, pottering, being with people who allow me to offload.

i hope you start to feel better soon hun

 

[FEDup1981]

Thank you both so so much for ur replies.

I feel a bit of a fraud because i do have my son Jack, whos 4.5. So could never feel the heartache that those who are still trying for their first. But we have been trying for #2 since jan 2008 (except for a 10month break when i had my op) with 2 losses. Its getting so so hard. And im so bitter. Im thinking lots of horrible thoughts which are so unfair on the people im thinking them about - then i think its Karma - the reason why its not happening for me.
Its just sooo unfair. Nothing can keep my mind off it, im totally obsessed, its so not healthy at all.

Im thinking of starting weight watchers - trying to get something else to focus on and that will help with the TTC.

I wish you both the best of luck with ur TTC journeys. I hope you dont have to wait much longer. Thank u for replying xxx

 

[Mrs G]

Hi

Things which kept me going through ltttc and then IVF -

doing things which made me feel in control (charting, acupuncture) - def do WW, will give you a focus
tears (get it out of your system)
happy music (even before it was the Glee anthem, Don't Stop Believing got me through many a sad car journey)
Positive thought - it WILL happen
But most of all, this site and all the amazing women here.

Good luck.

xx

 

[FEDup1981]

Hi

Things which kept me going through ltttc and then IVF -

doing things which made me feel in control (charting, acupuncture) - def do WW, will give you a focus
tears (get it out of your system)
happy music (even before it was the Glee anthem, Don't Stop Believing got me through many a sad car journey)
Positive thought - it WILL happen
But most of all, this site and all the amazing women here.

Good luck.

xx

Thank you. I cry a lot, so tick that one! Just gotta work on the rest!

I love this forum - but tend to go in the GS and thats about it. Think i need to loiter around this area a bit more and get some support from people who understand. Stay away from the bfp's - til im strong enough to cope with them etc.
So - ill try and be around here more often to be-friend you all here in the LTTC.

 

[Deb111]

So sorry you're feeling like this - I know we've all been there. But the one thing that keeps me going (although don't get me wrong, I have really bad patches) is thinking "Ok this is hell and it's bloody hard, but what's the alternative?" Giving up and never having a baby or being a Mum is just not an option I can bear to imagine. But I was only saying to hubby yesterday after another appt with the urologist and one with the endocrinologist, TTC shouldn't be like this; it should be one night's fun and enjoyment with a happy ending not hours of research, tests and appts that result in you feeling like you could do a degree in the bloody subject!

My hubby has been diagnosed with azoospermia (no sperm present in sample) and is waiting for an op at the end of Oct to see if they can find and retrieve some surgically. If not it's donor sperm or adoption for us It terrifies me, but if we don't try, we will never know. Somehow, just when you think you can't take anymore, you find some strength from somewhere

Babydust - I hope you don't mind, but I'd love to borrow a couple of those quotes to put at the bottom of my siggy as a reminder

 

[zowiey]

I don't know if I really do cope? I've just started on my 34th cycle, and I'm broken, but I have to pick myself up, because I can't give up now, but I'm terrified that it will never happen. But like someone else said, it's like an addiction, I have to do it all again because it might happen this time.

I've just read that back and realised that it was a real depressing post, with no advice!! Sorry, cd1 bitterness in full flow!!!

xxxx

 

[mlyn26]

Hi my love, my first month trying was unsuccessful too and AF got me on sunday just gone : (
Felt v sad esp as next week baby 1 would have been due and am still babyless and pregnantless!
I hope it works out for us both soon xxxx

 

[FEDup1981]

I don't know if I really do cope? I've just started on my 34th cycle, and I'm broken, but I have to pick myself up, because I can't give up now, but I'm terrified that it will never happen. But like someone else said, it's like an addiction, I have to do it all again because it might happen this time.

I've just read that back and realised that it was a real depressing post, with no advice!! Sorry, cd1 bitterness in full flow!!!

xxxx

Thats fine hun - be as honest as you need to be. Thats really what i need to hear if im honest - that its normal for me to feel like shit each time AF arrives, to feel despair. But i dont know if i could take it for almost 3 years, month after month. So unfair to you

 

[FEDup1981]

Hi my love, my first month trying was unsuccessful too and AF got me on sunday just gone : (
Felt v sad esp as next week baby 1 would have been due and am still babyless and pregnantless!
I hope it works out for us both soon xxxx

Gosh we have a lot in common. The day i was allowed to try again after ectopic was the day my first baby would have been due to.

Good luck hun. Perhaps, hopefully, we will be pregnancy buddies very soon xxx

 

[mlyn26]

Hi my love, my first month trying was unsuccessful too and AF got me on sunday just gone : (
Felt v sad esp as next week baby 1 would have been due and am still babyless and pregnantless!
I hope it works out for us both soon xxxx

Gosh we have a lot in common. The day i was allowed to try again after ectopic was the day my first baby would have been due to.

Good luck hun. Perhaps, hopefully, we will be pregnancy buddies very soon xxx

We really do have lots in common, its so sad that it happens to be such heartbreaking losses though
Would be lovely to be bump buddies. I am hoping i am pregnant by christmas but i guess that is being a little too optimistic perhaps?!!

xxx

 

[Mrs1982]

Hi all, newbie here! I'm strarting to struggle after nine months of trying. 3 family members just announced they are expecting and after practically no time trying! I'm avoiding family occasions so I don't have to face up to it all, so instead send hubby off to make excuses for me and I stay home - crying mostly! I'm frightened I am broken! So glAd to have found this site though to get a better understanding of whats possible. Sorry to vent! I hope we all get what we want so much and certainly deserve x

 

[FEDup1981]

Hi my love, my first month trying was unsuccessful too and AF got me on sunday just gone : (
Felt v sad esp as next week baby 1 would have been due and am still babyless and pregnantless!
I hope it works out for us both soon xxxx

Gosh we have a lot in common. The day i was allowed to try again after ectopic was the day my first baby would have been due to.

Good luck hun. Perhaps, hopefully, we will be pregnancy buddies very soon xxx

We really do have lots in common, its so sad that it happens to be such heartbreaking losses though
Would be lovely to be bump buddies. I am hoping i am pregnant by christmas but i guess that is being a little too optimistic perhaps?!!

xxx

Optimism is the best way - and i certainly am DESPERATE to be preg by xmas!!! I NEED to be for my sanity (tho thats another story!!)

Im CD11 today, so its my week to be = !!!!

Fingers x'd for u. Ill keep my eye out for ur posts!

 

[FEDup1981]

Hi all, newbie here! I'm strarting to struggle after nine months of trying. 3 family members just announced they are expecting and after practically no time trying! I'm avoiding family occasions so I don't have to face up to it all, so instead send hubby off to make excuses for me and I stay home - crying mostly! I'm frightened I am broken! So glAd to have found this site though to get a better understanding of whats possible. Sorry to vent! I hope we all get what we want so much and certainly deserve x

Hi :wave: Welcome to the forum!

I know exactly how you feel. After my first loss in January my sister announced she was pregnant - her baby was conceived around the time of my loss and i found it REALLY difficult to cope with and accept. For other reasons we dont speak any more which is prob easier for me, and shes prob had her baby now. But yeah i understand that feeling of everyone close around you getting preg while ur not.

It is ok to cry and let it all out. I started this thread a week or so ago at the start of my cycle, and i was heart broken. Now im coming up to ovulation and ive picked myself up again and ready to try again.

You will find loads of support on this site, so lurk - post - u will be welcomed! x