How do you keep motivated?

[newlywed2013]

I'm getting ready to start my 4th cycle ttc, and I am so frustrated! I was always brought up with 'it only takes one time' so I guess I just figured it would happen on the first try? I couldnt even imagine how everyone that is in ltttc feels

How does everyone keep motivated to keep trying?

 

[m.knight]

4 months isn't long at all so don't even think about it, just take each month as it comes and have fun. Don't take zillions of tests, just wait for your period (or not!!). And have something else to focus on, whether it is work or a hobby etc.

 

[Jessie1993]

I guess the fact that if i give up, i dont get my baby. I've felt pregnancy a few weeks ago, it was a beautiful feeling and i want it back!

Have you tried preseed? Worked first cycle for me.

 

[newlywed2013]

I do have a couple hobbies, but my problem now is I got let go from my job just before christmas, and I'm having a terrible time finding a new one, so I have entirely too much time on my hands and I'm obsessing!

I guess I know 4 months isn't really that long, especially when some people have been trying for years, and I almost feel bad getting so discouraged after only a few months. I just figured it would happen so quickly, and I'm a very impatient person!

I haven't tried Preseed, I can't even get my husband to agree to letting me get a bbt to temp, or getting opks. He keeps saying 'we don't need that'.

 

[Jessie1993]

Pre seed works wonders. Most problems with TTC is that you dry out before the swimmer reach they're destination, pre seed helps them get there! I also don't work, I'm more of a "house wife" lol so I'm obsessing to, mainly after my mc!

 

[newlywed2013]

oh my gosh I'm glad I'm not the only one that's at home obsessing!

I might have to convince hubby to give it a try...

 

[MellyH]

It *can* take one try, but on average it's more like 6 months.

Definitely try to distract yourself with something, that's very frustrating about the job. Can you do an online course to improve your skills while you're looking? Have you ever looked through iTunes U for interesting stuff? I listened to the UC Berkeley Psychology 101 lectures last year when I was bored on my long commute, it was really fascinating.

 

[MellyH]

Oooh, or learn a new language!

 

[newlywed2013]

I've never heard of Itunes U, I might check it out! I took up crocheting, but I think it still gives me more time to think, LOL.

I have a degree in interior design/ interior architecture. There arent really any online courses I can take in that type of field. I thought about taking online courses in medical coding as they are always looking for coders around here, but it's not something I really have any interest in. I have had a couple of interviews, so I'm just playign the waiting game to see if I get the job. Hopefully I do so that I have something else to focus on.

 

[MellyH]

If you google "itunes u interior design" you get quite a few courses available. I mean, they might be what you already did in your degree!! But maybe it would be fun for a refresher or to get a different point of view or an update.

Like here is one example: https://itunes.apple.com/us/itunes-u/interior-architecture-design/id540203267?mt=10

 

[LittleBunnie]

Honestly, it is hard. Some days I want to give up, and some days I want it more than anything. As much as it sucks to say this, as the months go by I don't get as hurt by a BFN. It's almost like I'm expecting it.

Thankfully, my hubby keeps me going. I think maybe you should surround yourself with positive energy?

 

[newlywed2013]

Thanks guys. I feel a little better. It's just hard not to get down about it. I guess the more time we spend ttc, the more we will appreciate the bfp when it does come

 

[curiousowl]

I think being home and TTC is just really, really hard. I left my job to move for DH's career last year and am currently job hunting. I know I have way too much time to obsess. Honestly, I end up watching a lot of TV since that's the one thing that shuts my brain up. I'm excited about the Olympics to distract me, lol.

 

[newlywed2013]

LOL tv doesnt distract me so much, it's more like background noise!

 

[mod19]

I do have a couple hobbies, but my problem now is I got let go from my job just before christmas, and I'm having a terrible time finding a new one, so I have entirely too much time on my hands and I'm obsessing!

I guess I know 4 months isn't really that long, especially when some people have been trying for years, and I almost feel bad getting so discouraged after only a few months. I just figured it would happen so quickly, and I'm a very impatient person!

I haven't tried Preseed, I can't even get my husband to agree to letting me get a bbt to temp, or getting opks. He keeps saying 'we don't need that'.

Well I can tell you that I've been ttc for over 3 years, and that you have every right to feel bad and discouraged, even if it only has been a few months. TTC is a VERY emotional time, so take every emotion as it comes, and every single one of them is ok. Last month I found out a girl at work got pregnant her first month after getting married (and she cheats on her husband!) and I was so mad! I felt so defeated that she isn't even faithful and she gets to have a baby on the first try. It completely broke me down. And you know what? Those feelings were ok. It made me get back up and go get help (finally!) and my obgyn is now starting me on infertility testing. Now I'm back up and feeling hopeful that I will find out whats going on and can rectify the situation, and those feelings are ok.

Basically what I'm trying to say, take it as it comes. If you try to look too far ahead you'll drive yourself crazy. Take it month by month, week by week, day by day, or even hour by hour if you need to. Every single emotion you feel is ok, weather its anger, sadness, happiness, or anything otherwise. Don't ever feel guilty for feeling a certain way. They are YOUR emotions, and you're allowed to have them.

As for taking your mind off things...I LOVE cooking and baking. I'll spend a day googling recepies to try for dinner and testing out cookies and cakes (it got to the point where i will not buy anything boxed or premade anymore, from scratch tastes soooo much better now!) Found out that homemade noodles are super easy to make and soooo delicious! Refuse to buy boxed noodles now lol

 

[newlywed2013]

mod19, thank you so much! I needed that! It is definitely an emotional roller coaster and I feel like my husband doesnt understand, he says 'i don't understand why you're so upset', and then I feel bad for feeling upset.
I feel the way he sees it is: I get my period, we have sex, I pms, I get my period so I'm not pregnant, we have sex... it's almost like it's emotionless for him, though I'm sure it's not, not completely.

I do love to bake, I might see what I can do, find healthier recipes and bake my butt off =)

 

[mod19]

My husband didn't understand either at first, he just said "it's out of our control" he wants a baby as much as I do, but I felt it wasn't as important to him because he already had a kid. The more I've talked about what the obgyn is going to be doing and about what the insurance is covering I think he is starting to understand how important it is to me and has gotten more onboard about the getting help situation. When I said that my dr wanted him to have a sperm analysis he said "I'll do whatever it takes" I didn't think those words would come out of his mouth. I even told my dr "good luck with that" when he mentioned it to me lol. Then when I told him what the hsg test is for and how much we're going to have to pay towards it he said we need to know what's going on and to get it done even if the insurance didn't cover it.

I've even sold my beloved pool cues to pay for some of the doctor bills, and when he saw that, he knew it was a big deal to me. I practically cried when I handed them over, but now I have enough to pay the deductible in cash!

I've cried to him, I've been excited towards him, I've even been angry and frusturated with the situation and complained to him, and the more he sees how badly I want this and the more I talk about it the more he's behind me each step of the way. (Plus, to say thank you for supporting me in my emotional rollercoaster I got him and his brother UFC tickets for when they're here in March.) He now knows I'm appreciative of his support, and I know he knows how important it is to me now.

Your husband will come around, especially once he sees what it's doing to you. OPK's aren't really that expensive online, you can get a few months worth for like $20-$30.

 

[newlywed2013]

Thank you so much!

 

[mod19]

And you can get a bbt thermometer at walgreens for $10...he doesn't even have to know it's a bbt thermometer, just tell him you liked it cuz it was pink

 

[newlywed2013]

Hahaha, thats totally something I would say too! I have considered just getting a bbt. My problem is, he gets up before I do and I kind of wake up, and then go back to sleep, and then kind of wake up when he says goodbye, and go back to sleep. When do I temp, the first time I kind of wake up?