How do you keep your hopes up when it's been more than a year?

[Amanda]

I'm getting to the stage now when I just want to scream!

I can remember crying to a friend of mine when AF showed up one month, because it would mean there would be more than a year between Charlie and the next one. It suddenly dawned on Dh and I this afternoon, that even if I got pg this month, there would be 2 years between the youngest two! We wanted them close together.

FFS, I'm almost 38! Time's running short. I know that I've wasted my life up until now. I had Kayleigh relatively young, and wanted no more. But now that I've got to the stage where I want at least 3 or 4 more kids, it's not bloody happening. Dh loves kids and wants loads more (he would beat The Duggans if he had half a chance!), and now I have Charlie as well, I want at least 2 more.

And it's not bloody happening!!!!!!

How do you keep going when it's been this long?????????

 

[FJL]

It is SO hard isn't it?

This might sound really corny, but the thing that keeps us going is the love we have for each other. Yes we want a baby because they're cute, they're ours, we can see them grow up, nurture and guide them, but we also want a baby because WE will have made him/her, it will be a part of us, something that 2 people that love each other so much have created. That very thought, hope and dream keeps us going.

We're only in our mid 20's so do have time and all, but we always like the idea of having 3 kids. To think when we first started TTC we did it at a time thinking we could choose the month that the baby was born, in between things like xmas, easter, a good time of year to be born fitting into school and everything, and now we don't have that luxury, its just whenever it will happen, which often feels like never!

Because of your age and the time you have been trying, have you thought about getting tests or undergoing assisted conception? Obviously you've had kids before so it can/will happen, but this migh just speed it up a bit for you hun?

Sometimes I feel like its all too much and that I can't take it anymore, I don't have the energy to continue fighting for something that I want so badly...but then I sit and daydream about being pregnant, giving birth and having our baby in my arms and then I remember that it is SO worth fighting for...so we keep on keepin on.

 

[Arcanegirl]

Honestly ive no idea how we keep going.
I think we just keep visualising that one day we will get there one way or another.

 

[skiwi]

Don't give up girls TTC is very stressful, with lots and lots of disappointment...but when you get that reward, it's worth it, i keep my fingers cross that the new years brings plenty of BFP.. Amanda you are still a spring chick, and people have babies in there 40's now a days.....

 

[Mynxie]

we've been TTC almost 3 years now, and it's heartbreaking.

I've always dreamed of having lots of children, but to be quite frank, I'd be extatic and elated if we had one child.

Already spoke to hubby about contraception though, and we've decided that I'm not gonna ever use it again....after all there's no point even if we did have a baby

 

[Helen_26]

I know exactly how you feel. We have been ttc for 14 months and are now both having tests.
I always asumed that it would be something that would just happen when we were ready, but it's obviously not going to be that easy for us.

 

[justme00]

we've been TTC almost 3 years now, and it's heartbreaking.

Already spoke to hubby about contraception though, and we've decided that I'm not gonna ever use it again....after all there's no point even if we did have a baby

I know what you mean. I was talking to DH and saying "well at least we know that we don't have to use contraception ever again. " I've been off the pill for over 2 yrs now. When I think back about when we had unprotected sex for the first time I was completely paranoid that I was pg and it just makes me laugh! I wish it was that easy *sigh*.

 

[Suz]

Its hard. I have really been feeling down lately. I went shopping at the mall this weekend for christmas and It was hard to keep a smile on my face. Seeing all the kids and babies going to see Santa. They were all dressed up and I just wanted to cry. But I then think of everyone who has tried for so long and went through so much and they have there LO's so I know it will happen for all of us. Just dont know went, but it will. And thats how I get through it.

 

[Tam]

I just want to say, I think all you girls are amazing I really do.........Keep up the fight, you have all come this far, and you should never give up on your dreams!

It will happen for you all, I just hope it happens soon for all of you! x

 

[sims822257]

HI there, I just wanted to say Best Wishes. I hear you on feeling so depressed. My husband and I have been trying for a year now and still nothing.

It makes me want to just scream sometimes but I just have to keep thinking that GOD has a plan for me. Not sure what it entails but hoping it involves a baby someday.

 

[Mojo]

i agree it's not easy, esp this time of year buying pressies for all my little nieces and wondering what toys my own child would like to play with. i think the trick is to stay positive and convince yourself that it will happen one day, you just don't know when. it makes me laugh that since i was 16 i was either on the pill, using condoms and even morning after pill a few times, i was obsessive about bc as did not want to become pg. now i think i needn't have bothered!!

amanda, i agree with skiwi you are still a spring chick in baby making terms, women way older have successfully ttc'd, you will have your baby one day