How do you know??

[Ema]

OK well i went for lunch with a few of work mates yesterday, now there all in there 30's early 40's and most there children are older. Anway jacob was a STAR and none of them could believe how good he was until we can to leave he HATES his pram or car seat and always kicks up a fuss when he goes in them and i NEVER let him cry it out. I will pick him back up just encase something is wrong. So i got told "your not MENT to pick them up when they cry or they get used to it " So i explained that jacob was a windy baby and i would NEVER leave him to cry or let him cry himself to sleep as for all i know he could have wind stuck etc etc.

Well i was told "your soft, he's going to have you wrapped around his lil finger in no time (this is a 3 month old baby!!) " So anyway on the drive home he started to cry so like always i pull over and pick him out of his car seat and what do you know a burp comes up then he's fine and back in he goes and after a couple of seconds of grizzling once i move the car he is fine So got me thinking how do you know a baby so young is crying for attention or crying because there is something wrong??? I always let jacob fall asleep on me and cuddle him to sleep then i pop him down once asleep and he's fine, this takes a matter of minutes maybe 10 max yet im being told i should leave this young baby to cry until he falls asleep on his own so he LEARNS......but he's so so so so so young. I dont get it

So anyway rambling now but how do you know nothing is wrong when you leave them to cry??? XxxX

BTW I never leave jacob to cry XxX

 

[doctordeesmrs]

I'm the same hun. I can't leave Rocco to cry. I'm lucky though Rocco very rarely cries. Only if he's really tired and fighting sleep or i'm not quick enough with his grub lol

 

[clairebear]

i never leave jack to cry either as i can now tell the difference and he only really crys when something is hurting him

 

[Serene123]

I never leave Caitlyn to cry

 

[poppy]

I'm with you Ema. I am a bit confused about this as well. It is really distressing to hear them cry. Tristan usually falls asleep at night just after he has eaten (about 8.30). I worry that he is not going to be able to go to sleep on his own without this 'dream feed.'

 

[nikky0907]

I don't leave Lola to cry (even though she rarely does it).

However, I'm now trying to get her to sleep in her big crib (cot) in her own room and even though she is changed,fed, clean and warm she starts crying as soon as I leave the room.
This is for attention only and I know that one of these days I'm gonna have to go with the controlled crying route because otherwise she will never sleep. I still can't do it though because I'm too soft

 

[Stef]

Olivia was a really happy baby except from when she suffered with colic and there for at 3 months i never left her to cry. Now shes abit older depending what the cry depends wether i leave her to cry or not. If she's crying for a genuine reason then fine i pick her up & comfort her but if shes crying because ive taken something off her or stopped her doing something she wants to do then I leave her to cry it out as its just a temper tantrum but I agree when she was that age i didnt leave her to cry ever as if she was crying their usually was something wrong

x

 

[lorrilou]

Olivia was a really happy baby except from when she suffered with colic and there for at 3 months i never left her to cry. Now shes abit older depending what the cry depends wether i leave her to cry or not. If she's crying for a genuine reason then fine i pick her up & comfort her but if shes crying because ive taken something off her or stopped her doing something she wants to do then I leave her to cry it out as its just a temper tantrum but I agree when she was that age i didnt leave her to cry ever as if she was crying their usually was something wrong

x

im the same with callum.

 

[isil]

I think that some people (mainly older) just have these ideas in their heads and think it's the right way but you know your baby better than all of these people. I can recognise Alasdair's different cries now. I know there is only one kind of cry I can ignore and that's the 'I'm going to sleep but I don't want to because the world is more exciting than sleep!' cry which is really more of a moan than a cry. I think as they get older these things get easier.

 

[ryder]

Everyone has their own comfort levels... Jasmine used to cry when I put her in her carrier as well and I never picked her back up... Instead I buckled her in and then rocked the carrier and gave her her dummy so she would calm down IN the carrier and learn that it was nothing to be upset by.

I agree the as they get older, we gradually do need to set more boundaries, he may only be 3 months, but it doesn't take long for them to become a clingy toddler.

Ive never left her to cry, but in the beginning I did leave her in her crib to cry, I never actually left her, I went in every few minutes and rubbed her tummy etc.

Every mom does what she feels is right, I simply just try and calm her in whatever she is upset in so she learn she doesn't have to be upset... If you know what I mean. She is clingy enough already and I dont co-sleep or pick her up every time she cries.

 

[Jem]

Other people will always have their own opinions I'm afraid, but only you truely know your own child. You know if they're crying for a reason. My MIL keeps telling me that Ollie is whingy in the evenings cos I "tend to his every whim". I shouldn't pick him up everytime he cries she reckons. Well that's her opinion but I know Ollie and he cries for a reason. Yes he's abit whingy in the evenings as babies quite often are but other than that he's a good baby and it bugs me when she interferes like that x

 

[sparkswillfly]

My parents and OHs parents all say the same thing about babies and they are in their 40s. I would never leave a small baby to cry. I actually read recently that young babies dont actually know how to use learned behaviours till at least 4 months anyway. If that makes sense.

 

[Jem]

Yeah I heard that too, you can't spoil a baby apparently. I have to say although my mum is old school she's always said babies cry for a reason and is quite upto date with modern ways and agrees with most of them x

 

[alice&bump]

i'm quite tollerant with crying, i know when she's crying for a reason and when she's just whinging, so if its a whinge, she just gets her bouncer rocked and talked to. OH cant stand crying so he hates it when she moans, he's a believer of not picking them up every two mins if they're crying. or if she's crying she's always hungry, he doesnt check anythin else!

the other day i fed her, had a shower, got out only to be shouted at that she was hungry. knowing she wouldnt be, i checked her bum...the biggest leakiest poo ever!!

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I don't know about at three months because any crying she did at that point was for a reason, BUT now (and probably since she was about 6 months) she has learned to cry for attention, I know it is for attention because-well it's fake and there is no doubt! But at the same time I always give her attention-obviously if she wants attention-she is bored or whatever, so I give it to her. Don't let people tell you how to parent your child

 

[babe2ooo]

i sometimes leave jack to cry, the only time he ever crys is when he is really sleepy or wants food, other than that he doesnt really cry and i know when he needs a sleep and hes just crying, so sometimes i leave him to cry himself to sleep and he only cry for a few min and then hes alseep and i dont feel bad babys need to learn to get themself to sleep and no that i dont do it all the time, sometime he likes to be left to it in his cot so he can go to sleep himself and he doesnt cry now he just goes to sleep. plus u get 2 know your baby and what they need,