How do you move on after ?

[chella]

I had a m/mc on 12th march after at 1st scan baby had a low heartbeat and 2nd scan confirmed the worst bless it clung on inside and didint want to come out, now i feel so empty even though i hope closure will come once baby has been cremated but im dreading going back to work and seeing friends who will be constant reminders of my pregnancy and when their having babies around my due date feel bad dreading this but i just wish this was all a bad dream!! My OH has been great support but still feel alone. Decided to have a tattoo in its memory and also my best friend is going to plant something in the babys memory.

Kind of think though after yesterday , all the pain i went through but didnt get my little bundle of joy to cuddle at the end of it. Is there hope after as just feel lost ???

 

[pennypoptart]

God, I hope there is some hope at the end of it!! I had an almost identical situation... and had my EPRC the day before you.

My hubby too has been great, but think his grief is different to mine, and he seems to be getting over it! Whilst it's all I can think about at the moment!!

I hope you feel more positive soon x

 

[Las78]

Hun, so very sorry. There is hope, it does get better - I know right now you probably don't believe that, I know in the first few weeks after my m/c I wouldn't have believed it either.

I am 6 weeks on, I lost my little boy at 17w+5, the first two weeks after were pure hell, I was devastated, heartbroken and felt so very alone even though I had wonderful people around me. I too felt that I had gone through all that and come away with nothing but a memory of someone I never got to love, hold orcuddle. Would have been my first son and a very wanted little boy, we had so many dreams for him and then there was nothing.

I still think of him everyday, I always will.

At first I was totally de motivated, didn't do very much at all for the first two weeks other than what had to be done (I have 2 other LO's so had to try and keep things normal for them), I didn't push myself, I didn't feel guilty for doing nothing, I just for those couple of weeks needed to be if that makes sense. I did things that I needed to do to remember my little boy (I bought an angel that has his birthstone in her hands - it sits in my kitchen where we spend a lot of time and it helps me feel like he's with me) - I let myself grieve and spent most of those 2 weeks in tears. I then had to go back to work and I knew that I had to let go and move forward and I felt ready to do so, the burial gave me some closure.

It's all about time hun, giving yourself the time to do what you need to do, to grieve and to remember. It isn't easy but it will get better in time. I feel I have come out the other side a stronger person knowing that if I can deal with that I can deal with anything life throws at me.

Sending you huge hugs hun, if you need to talk please PM me, even if you just need someone to listen.

Take Care of yourself x

 

[Chilli]

I'm so sorry to hear your story. I too have been through it in the last 3 weeks. It's feels so awful, but even after such a short time it does get a bit better. I still find myslef a bit preoccupied and do things like putting the cereal in the frdige instead of the milk, but heart is no longer breaking, it has broken and is recovering. I'm sure yours will too. I'm not back at work yet, next week will be my 4th week, I've got a bit of an infection which I think is acting as a good excuse because I'm not ready yet. We all deal with it in very different ways, and this network is a great source of support as so amny other poeple fail to be.
I'm glad your OH is being supportive, mine is too and this horrible situation has brought us much closer... so something good has come out of the haze!!!
Lots of love, do what you feel you need to and look after yourself

 

[Aidedhoney]

Hello,

It does get better i lost twin girls at 16wks in Aug 08, it was one the hardest things i have ever had to cope with. It does get better just takes time, not a day passes when i dont think about it, constantly i was faced with reminders ie women in Tesco with babies or pregnant, i found as time went on it didnt hurt as much. I discovered feelings and emotions i didnt even know i had, Hardest thing i found was people around me were getting on with life while mine was falling apart.
It will get better with time, It does help to talk and i found my GP a brilliant support,

Luckily i have fallen pregnant again and i hope the same happens for you. Remember that your OH is going through it as well and you can both help each other get through the hard days ahead.

Good luck xx

 

[chella]

Thanks guys for ur msgs, i find this forum great as it helps, I have all these questions going round my head and worries i think the 2 weeks off work will give me time to get myself together x

 

[Aidedhoney]

I found going back to work very helpful, kept me busy and my mind off things, i found that i was worse when i was alone loads of time to think about things. Its not an easy thing to try and come to terms with, it will stay with you forever but it does get easier as time passes may not feel like it just now but it will.
Planting some thing is nice, i didnt plant anything as i was scared it would die and i wouldnt be able to cope with that, instead my babies were due in feb so snow drops remind me of them. I lit 2 candles one for each baby and drunk a btl of champers so now when i want to remember i light 2 candles. Sounds silly but it helps me.

 

[bklove]

Like people have said it does get easier with time. At first it doesn't seem that way, and you go through questioning yourself, doubting yourself, being mad at other pregnant people, trying to care for yourself, and then it gets easier....atleast thats been my cycle. It does get easier though, but "time" will be different for each of us. and i'm sorry you had to endure this. I hope peace comes back to your life soon and you can look ahead at all the possiblities waiting for you. Your angel is looking down wanting you to be ok

 

[Drazic<3]

Hey hun,
Im so sorry for your loss.
It takes time, but I promise it does get easier. You will never forget your baby, but you will learn to live without them - just to perfect for this world.
Just be patient with yourself, allow yourself to grieve and never be afraid to reach out, you always have a friend here

 

[DiddyDons]

I lost my baby girl last year at 25 weeks! for me it hasnt got easier at all and I havnt moved on! I have just learnt to cope with this pain that I carry everyday!

I miss her and love her so much and would do anything to see her beautiful eyes and hold and cuddle and kiss her again!

Thinking of you

https://remembranceticker.tickershack.com/tickers/w5yj7w77ka8z8c1r.pnghttps://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq53/donnapickering/d1-finished--x-x.gif
&#9829;Sophie's Website&#9829;
&#9829;Mummy Misses You So Much Sophie&#9829;31.01.08&#9829;
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​

 

[Widger]

The worst part after ERPC is still feeling pregnant. I felt sick, had big and sore boobs and couldn't stop crying over ridiculous things. I still had BFP for 2.5 weeks after too. All I can say is that as soon as I got a BFN I felt so much better and I can honestly say that I could move on. I still think about it but I feel much more positive and really didn't think I was going to in the beginning. It is different for us as we are the ones that are pregnant and your hormones are all over the place. Going back to work was the best thing for me, it isn't for everyone but it really helped me during the day. I hope you feel better soon, I'm sure you will x

 

[Staceyxxx]

I lost my baby on friday... I really can't see me moving on from this situation... Some of my "friends" haven't asked how i am... I feel lots of different emotions right now.. i just want my little baby back

I really do hope you will be ok xxx

 

[chella]

I lost my baby on friday... I really can't see me moving on from this situation... Some of my "friends" haven't asked how i am... I feel lots of different emotions right now.. i just want my little baby back

I really do hope you will be ok xxx

Hey ya

Im so sorry for ur loss and im jus the same i have good and bad days and few friends who i thought were friends have bothered wid me?? I too especially today wanted my baby inside my tummy as just felt it wasnt fair; my symptoms are starting to go so thats one less reminder, we have a creamtion service wednesday which im hoping can bring some closure but at the smae time dreading goin'

Hope in time u will feel better pm me if u ever want a chat as be nice x
sending

 

[Staceyxxx]

I lost my baby on friday... I really can't see me moving on from this situation... Some of my "friends" haven't asked how i am... I feel lots of different emotions right now.. i just want my little baby back

I really do hope you will be ok xxx

Hey ya

Im so sorry for ur loss and im jus the same i have good and bad days and few friends who i thought were friends have bothered wid me?? I too especially today wanted my baby inside my tummy as just felt it wasnt fair; my symptoms are starting to go so thats one less reminder, we have a creamtion service wednesday which im hoping can bring some closure but at the smae time dreading goin'

Hope in time u will feel better pm me if u ever want a chat as be nice x
sending

It wont let me pm for some reason :S When did you m/c if you dont mind me asking? I've handled today quite well.. mindya ive been sat alone allday, not wanting to see anyone at all...

 

[RobenR]

I know it seems hard to believe but it does get better and there is hope. It's hard and in the beginning it's just a goal of making it one hour at a time. Sometimes I just sat there telling myself "just breathe."

It's hard, and I still get teary some days and melancholy thinking of the baby girl we lost but for me, prayer and padre's got me and DH through, and very supportive family.

You'll make it, and while it seems impossible when the hurt is so raw, it does begin to blunt itself so that you can move on.

You're strong.

 

[jo_79]

Like a lot of the girls have already said, time is a great healer. When i lost my daughter at 29 weeks people said that to me and i just wanted to slap them and say how can i ever get over this. I dont think you ever do, but you learn to live through it.

 

[rachjim98]

I lost my baby on friday... I really can't see me moving on from this situation... Some of my "friends" haven't asked how i am... I feel lots of different emotions right now.. i just want my little baby back

I really do hope you will be ok xxx

Sorry to hear of your loss. How are you doing? if you need to talk Pm me I am here to lisen or help anyway I can.