How do you tell people to stop torturing you with your phobia?

[Tiff]

I'm honestly at my breaking point. I'm beyond phobic of spiders.... and when I say phobic I mean an actual phobia. If I even see a picture of one it physically feels like I've been hit in the chest, I can't breathe, my palms start to get sweaty and I get very jarred and can't think straight.

Its a struggle to even try and have enough cognitive thinking to press the back button or hiding something on FB.

My problem is that I have a few "friends" and some of my husband's family who find my phobia amusing. I'm constantly being tagged in pictures of them, they'll leave a google image search on Tarantulas up on my computer so when I go to use it that's the first thing that pops up after the screensaver shuts off.

Its horrible. The image search of them was so upsetting for me that even just typing about it made me very anxious and hard to breathe.

I've tried telling people in no uncertain terms that it isn't a "Eeeek! Omg you scared me!! " type of thing, it literally makes my blood run cold. Yet it still happens.

What is so funny about torturing someone with their phobias? I find it mean and cruel, to the point that even though they do it to me I can't bring myself to do it back to them. I'm fine with needles, snakes, clowns, etc.

Whenever I bring it up, its laughed off because spiders "can't hurt you".

 

[missk1989]

The most sensible thing to do here is delete your fb account. Then when people start asking why you have done it you can tell them seriously why.

 

[MrsButterfly]

Ugh how awful. I have a full on phobia too of sharks - to the point where reading the word makes me feel panicky. And if I see a photo somewhere I can have a total meltdown. My DH now realises how bad it is so doesn't taunt me anymore but he used to and I'd often cry I was so worked up. Don't think he understands it but he at least respects it. I don't really tell anyone else mostly so I don't get smart arses trying to scare me.

I'm not sure what you can do if they won't listen to you. Have you ever thought of therapy for the phobia? I've often considered hypnotherapy. Although I don't have cause to come across sharks too often, the extent of the impact when I do is enough to make me want to cure it.

 

[cherrylips100]

I think you should have your husband sit down with his family and tell them that it isn't acceptable and as for your friends I would tell them that you will in uncertain terms that you will block them from your account if they persist. Don't feel mean, they deserve it and you shouldnt have to put up with it.

 

[Maggs]

Yes I'd just be really mean to them about it until they get it! And as the others said, block them if they don't. That's horribly cruel.

 

[~RedLily~]

I know it can be difficult confronting people especially when they don't get why it is a big deal so I would put a status on fb so that it isn't directed at anyone in particular saying that anyone (close friends and family included) that tags you in a picture or tries to in some way scare you with anything spider related will be deleted and blocked on fb. No warnings, no second chance. You will not be treated this way and anyone that finds it funny to play on your fears in this way is clearly not a true friend, they are just cruel people you don't need in your life.

They may see this and think it's a bit over the top given that they don't understand the phobia but it should make it clear that you are very serious and you have had enough.

 

[slg76]

I think you should have your husband sit down with his family and tell them that it isn't acceptable and as for your friends I would tell them that you will in uncertain terms that you will block them from your account if they persist. Don't feel mean, they deserve it and you shouldnt have to put up with it.

^^^ yes! They are being disrespectful and mean and it's unacceptable. Why would somebody that loves you want to purposefully make you uncomfortable? Sounds like it's time to cut some ties.

 

[smileyfaces]

No advice but hugs Im the same with moths but no one does cruel things like that to me

 

[weewdy]

I agree with previous comments but i also think if your phobia is that bad then you should seek help, it must be very debilitating for you. Speak to a professional about your phobia and see what help is available. I would also give your friends and family a very stern message to stop doing it or you will defriend.

 

[Bex84]

I would do as pp said and put up a status and then block anyone who does it. I have a huge fearcof heights and lifts. I am getting better with lifts as had to use with push chair. When I was a child my dad would bang side to tease me and I was petrified

 

[Camlet]

I agree with both Red Lilly & Cherry lips you need to make it clear that you will not tolerate it anymore & if blocking them etc is the only way they will get the message then so be it xx

 

[MrsMandy]

If this persists, put this link up on their computer, and let them realise just how bad and dangerous a fear like this can be, and that them purposely trying to 'scare' you could potentially be quite dangerous for you!

https://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Phobias/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

I would also urge you to seek some help to learn to control this and be able to move on from this.
That'll show them not to mess with you!! 😉

 

[Tiff]

Thanks everyone. My hubby has mentioned to his family in the past how serious of a phobia it is for me, the problem is that their online persona is very different than being around them in real life. In real life they're apologetic, online they're asshats again.

I've thought about trying to overcome it, I've been getting better. I can see pictures of regular north american spiders and not lose my marbles (even though it still jars me). Its pictures of tarantulas that I can't handle, all the hairy legs and fangs and multiple eyes just freak me the eff out.

But I'm generally not in any sort of area where Tarantulas are just roaming around iykwim? I had great progress actually the other night, I was chatting on FB with a member on here who's pet Tarantula was sick. She didn't show me any pictures, but was awesome with answering any questions I had which helped me understand them a bit better.

That's not to say that I'll lose my marbles if I see one IRL mind you, but I was proud of myself for chatting about it and I genuinely felt bad that her's wasn't doing very well.

What are your phobias? My hubby and best friend can't handle needles, another friend its bees and another is clowns.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I would just tell them hun. Say the pictures really do upset you and you would like them to stop leaving them up or tagging you in them. Hope you can resolve it x

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Nobody took me seriously with mine, and I found asking them to stop only made it worse. My phobia is feet/people trying to touch my feet, people have always found it hilarious to stuff their rancid toes in my face. So I decided to tell everyone I got over my phobia (and got them back, "proving" it by sticking my own mucky trotters in their faces). I was totally lying but it stopped altogether.

 

[Vicyi]

My phobia is blood, veins and arteries. I actually cant even say the words. I cannot touch my neck/wrists/back on knees as it just totally freaks me out. Ive had so many people including family and close friends make fun of it and try to freak me out by touching their wrists together or talking about blood. I have actually passed out on numerous occasions from people showing/talking about it so i think they are starting to realise im not just 'squeamish' and i actually have a real problem with it!

 

[Wriggley]

I have a Phobia of clowns right from a very young age.... my mum took me the the circus and i was sat at the front of the ring side seats with my cousin and my mum and aunty were at the back.... when the clown came on i got anxious and started crying and went and sat with my mum.... the clown went off and i relaxed a bit... only a little while later i turned round only to find the clown had pulled up a chair RIGHT BEHIND ME and was sat watching the show... i instantly flipped out screaming

weirdly enough my OH is circus trained though not clowns... more skills such as juggling, diabolo, unicycle, tightrope etc....

our oldest has gotten right into circus skills lately so we took him to see a circus.... thought i would be okay as the clowns in the picture looked like normal people with a little make up round the eyes and mouth... thought i could handle it.

but during one act the clown came out with a completely white face and wild hair... my heart was pounding and then to make it worse he came out into the audience i felt physically sick and i was shaking and my heart was pounding... luckily he didnt say near us for too long and went and sat with a member of the audience.

i just cant deal with them they freak me out SOOOOO much.

back in the winter it was about 10pm so dark outside and my OH was in the bath... my neighbour knocked on my door but i didnt know it was him and had not been expecting him... i flipped out and burst into the bathroom where my OH was trying to have a bath shouting 'theres a clown at the door get rid of it i dont want him to paint our window ledge' :/ my OH was like WTF! 1. its not going to be a clown and 2 why wuld it wanna paint the window ledge? . honeslt no idea.

 

[slg76]

I used to have a fear of elevators (lifts). I also had a bit of a general anxiety problem and when that cleared up (with medication) I forced myself to start going into elevators and now they don't bother me at all.

I still have a bit of a phobia of driving at night and sometimes on the freeway. Can't tell how much is phobia and how much is that I don't see well. I wish somebody else could look through my eyes and tell me if what I see is normal.

 

[Bittersweet]

Hun that's really unacceptable.

I have a fear of slugs and snails. The fear they will crawl into my ears or nose or mouth. My heart pounds I sweat and get dizzy even looking at one.

Just this evening there was a huge snail at the top of my blind. I couldn't leave it, for the fear about ears nose etc plus my cat might eat it. So I got a tub with a lid and had to peel off the snail with the lid so I didn't touch it. I threw up twice in the process and cried alot but snail is now outside and I am inside and still shaky.

When I was younger people found my fear hilarious they used to pick snails and slugs up and chase me with them, until I was sick almost passing out or crying then they laughed.

 

[Bex84]

Nobody took me seriously with mine, and I found asking them to stop only made it worse. My phobia is feet/people trying to touch my feet, people have always found it hilarious to stuff their rancid toes in my face. So I decided to tell everyone I got over my phobia (and got them back, "proving" it by sticking my own mucky trotters in their faces). I was totally lying but it stopped altogether.

Oh I so get this one. A foot massage would be my worst nightmare. I can't stand people touching my feet. Its yuck