how do...

[lemontree12]

single mums who never have a single moment to themselves ever suppose to date or even find someone. i have my little girl 24hours 7days a week, in the 6months of her life i havent been with her for 5nights as in a few hours. i literally dont have a life anymore, i dont have any time whatsoever to myself.
it really gets me down. i really adore my little girl she is amazing, and i spent oer 4years without a life with how fob treated me, i was hoping aftr lo arrived i could finally begin to find myself and start living again. .
i want my little girl to have a family, but i never see that happening. i just feel my life splipping away

 

[Dezireey]

Dont despair hun. hugs xx

How old are you BTW? if your are fairly young ( e.g even in your twenties or thirties!) youve still got TONS of time to meet someone. Im 40 next year, I look like crappy doo doo ( worse I've ever looked) and im totally overweight with baby weight. Yet last week, I took a lunch with LO in Pizza Hut after xmas shopping, LO kept throwing his baby spoon at this guy across from us who was with his neice and he started laughing and chatted me up! Totally didnt fancy him though but still, I really didnt expect that.

Sooo.... no1. You can still get out and about with LO in tow when young and blokes could chat you up ( perfect thing- take LO in pram to a park in the summer and watch fit blokes play football without them thinking you are a bit odd cos you wont be alone lol!!)

No2. Most single mums dont meet anyone when the LO is still a baby, like you said, its a 24/7 thing but that will soon pass and you will have time when they are in nursery/ school, staying over friends etc.

Dont get downhearted, you will date soon enough and when you are ready. My mum always used to say to me 'the best blokes always turn up in the least likely of places and when you are not looking for one'

xx

 

[lemontree12]

thank you, im 27. my daughter makes me incredibly happy, i guess i just want for her what other kids take for granted, a male role model and siblings. but because fo is a selfish asshole and being a parent is isnt for him, i have no support as in that someone to give me a break.i literally dont think he realises how his selfish act has made my life that bit harder.
i love caring for little one and that doesnt bother me at all, shes an easy baby its literally the wanting some me time. im finding myself becoming jealous, of friends ect able to drop their kids with grandparents etc while they nip and do shopping etc. i miss going to the gym, just the little simple things i took for granted before little one came along. like i said she is amazing i love her more than anything, we have an amazing bond, and 99% i couldnt be happier, just sometimes i would like to do simple things

thats such a confidence boost that man chatting with little one, even if you didnt fancy him, i always think if a man see you with a baby he would automaticly think youv got a man or some sort of baggage with a man. i totally believe in that moto also, and i guess whoever he is, he will be abit special to take on little one also.

 

[moomin_troll]

I didn't start to have a life till my youngest was a yr old. My mum sometimes babysits (at my house which is annoying lol) and I go on nights out with my mates.
I met a lad the other night and he's asked me on a date I've had to work our date around when my mum was willing to babysit, luckily he understood.

U will have a life! For the longest time I didn't think I would and here I am

 

[Jade--x]

I agree I know at times it feels like 'eugh I'm never gonna find anyone' but you will It's not easy have you tried internet dating? That way you can just kind of dip your feet in the pool kind of thing and you never know you could meet mr right on there. A lot of ladies on here met their husbands and partners through online dating That way you get to know someone first find out if you click and if your LO is a problem for them or not and then just see what happens and you're not just strangers when you do meet (if you do) x

 

[lemontree12]

thank you
yes iv tried internet dating but not having any luck, but i will def keep dipping in. its such a shock when the things you took for granted like simply going to the shop is an opperation lol it is nice to see people in the same position finding someone

iv just read your post moomin, go you. such a confidence boost, you must keep us updated how you get on.

xxx

 

[moomin_troll]

Thanks
It's terrifying haha

 

[ZombieQueen]

I'm feeling the same, yet not quite ready to date so every guy who comes near me, I brush off unintentionally. It feels so lonely, with a baby constantly on my hip and at my age, no guys want to date a single mom. They all want to party and hook up I think things will pass, better to wait patiently than to rush into trouble.

 

[moomin_troll]

How old are u zombie queen? I'm 24 and the lad I'm going on a date with is 22! There are the odd decent men out there x

 

[ZombieQueen]

I'm 20, but the guys here act more like 16 year olds.. And even if they did act their age, it's really slim pickings.

 

[moomin_troll]

That's exactly what I thought of my area. And was hoping to find an older man, as like u all the lads my age I've seen only want 1 thing and act like children.
All I can say is I really wasn't expecting to meet anyone right now. The night I met this lad I was on a night out with a mates rugby team and I was wearing a moustache hahaha

But the thought of dating is so scary when u have children. U don't have all the spare time another girl would have and u have to be so careful who are in ur life because of ur babies.

We will all get there x

 

[ZombieQueen]

Yeah, I'm not really on the hunt.. I've actually started to open up a bit to an old long distance friend I used to chat with quite a bit. He's 29, but done with school, he's a teacher now (I find this hilarious for some reason, that I'm old enough to have an interest in a teacher?) but he really liked me before I got married and I think he's a catch.. if I ever get my weirdness about other men out of my system.. It's so dang hard when you thought you'd be with ONE person for the rest of your life, it was like.. my heart was rewired entirely to only love one person and that other men are icky. Now I have to rerewire it But I guess it hasn't been too long. I think I'm hitting the one year mark since I found out about the other woman any day now.. still feels pretty fresh!

 

[moomin_troll]

Being cheated on his horrible, so no wonder. There's never any set time for a woman to be ready to move on, but it's made so much harder when u have a small child.
It is the weirdest feeling when ur not with that person u were so in love with and thought u had the rest of ur life set out, to then bam ur single again.

I don't no about anyone else but I feel almost like a virgin again. The thought if sex terrifies me. But that could be because the last time I dtd was when my youngest was conceived lol

 

[moomin_troll]

Forgot to add, go u on talking to the teacher 29s a good age to go for and even better that he's for a career

 

[ZombieQueen]

Oh gosh, I definitely feel terrified about having sex again... Thats why long distance appeals to me