How does you OH/DH cope with TTC?

[Natsby]

Mine has his head in the sand and glares at me when I talk about it. But then he is always there for big hug when af shows up. I know he wants to be a dad, but not if it means changing anything he is doing now, which makes it difficult to say the least, I may have to hide all his jocky shorts until after OV.
What about yours?

 

[NorthStar]

Mine wants to talk about baby names and all sorts, I'm the superstitious one going "Nooooooo" and accusing him of putting a jinx on it.

Stupid, eh?

 

[sarahincanada]

mine is into it as much as a man can be into it! he wants kids, but doesnt get stressed over the details and doesnt really understand the whole 2WW stress thing....to him you just do the deed and then wait and see. He says he is dissappointed when my AF turns up, but he doesnt act like he is that bothered. He said once he didnt want to say much and make me feel bad for not getting pregnant, which is kinda nice I suppose.

he will do everything I say though....early on when we were trying he was too tired for sex and I said to him look, Im 38 and I dont know how much time I have, so you have to do everything I ask or we wont bother. since then he has been great, even when tired. perhaps you can talk to him and ask that he does everything he can with you, as hopefully its just a short time and the changes arent that bad?

 

[Jax41]

Ahhhh, well, to coin a phrase 'I'm TTC he's NTNP' think that just about sums it up... Determined I'm gonna catch him out though

 

[NorthStar]

I've now told my OH how upset I was (after the sore back incident) and I've also told him about when I went away with work 2 months ago and my AF was late, and that I was starting to get a bit excited as I couldn't get hold of an HPT in this country, so I started to allow myself to entertain this possibility.

I told him how disappointed I was when AF arrived and that I didn't want to set myself up for another disappointment.

I think now he gets it....

 

[Jax41]

I've now told my OH how upset I was (after the sore back incident) and I've also told him about when I went away with work 2 months ago and my AF was late, and that I was starting to get a bit excited as I couldn't get hold of an HPT in this country, so I started to allow myself to entertain this possibility.

I told him how disappointed I was when AF arrived and that I didn't want to set myself up for another disappointment.

I think now he gets it....

Good news Northstar, otherwise you know what'll happen......he'll have Indigo to deal with!!!!

 

[Natsby]

My OH gets it I think, but deep down he takes it personally, thinks I blame him it if it doesn´t work, and if I say anything I´m either obsessing or criticizing. I do nag, but if I don´t he doesn´t do anything, I say go make an appointment to see about a sperm test, he says yes and then days pass with nothing done. I don´t want to mention it again but what choice do I have? oh I know I´ll make it myself and then send him there saying he just has to drop something off,ha ha.

 

[NorthStar]

Yeah I can't think of a way to get that SA done if he doesn't participate!

 

[Natsby]

Not in anyway that doesn´t risk one of us getting arrested anyway. I´m not sure I could convince him I was just feeling sexy whilst at the docs.

 

[NorthStar]

Not in anyway that doesn´t risk one of us getting arrested anyway. I´m not sure I could convince him I was just feeling sexy whilst at the docs.

I know! I'm just picturing you offering him some manual stimulation, catching said consequences in a sample cup and shimmying down the drainpipe to the docs whilst pretending to be having a shower or something.

Channel Angelina Jollie in Tombraider!

Newmarriedgal, so exciting that your numbers are going up

 

[pdmcd17]

hello
mine is on board but doesnt want to know much (i think cause im a RN) i give him TMI and he just wants it to be fun so i kinda keep him in the dark ie i tell him after the fact that i ov.

he is afraid that i only want to BD with him cause of that, so not true. so no making it a chore.

He is a tad iffy about the fertility specialist next month -but will go (as it is a couple treatment approach) i think hes afraid the problem will be his. I keep reminding him that we were referred because it took so long for my cycles to come back after BC.

 

[dachsundmom]

It's funny that you started this thread; my DH and I just had this conversation last night. I was the one who had a meltdown and told his that if he isn't going to be more proactive about it, then I was going to go ahead and have my tubes tied. I know that sounds drastic, but I cannot do this every cycle if I feel like I want it more than he does; he suggested we move into NTNP, but I explained to him that I would worry every month whether or not we were doing things "correctly."

I don't know wheter or not it was because he saw the disappointment in my face last night or not, but now he has done a total 180 and says that we will do whatever we need to do.

Frankly, I have so much doubt now that I am not completely sure if I want to continue this or not.

 

[AliGirl]

My DH is totally on board with wanting to have kids and supports that we are trying. Unfortunately he doesn't really get the whole concept of there just being a small window of opportunity each month. So, he doesn't get how frustrating it is when I've had a positive opk, and then decides he's too tired that night. Even though I have explained it to him, I think he thinks that a few days here and there won't make any difference. Urgh!! If only he knew how much effort went into pinpointing that exact point when you o and how annoying it is when you think you've missed it!!

I have gone down the route a few times of just telling him we have to do it that night, but then I feel like I've forced him into it, and takes all the fun out of it.

Of course, you can guarantee that the days when I'm not remotely fertile, he's as randy as a rabbit!!!

 

[Natsby]

My DH is totally on board with wanting to have kids and supports that we are trying. Unfortunately he doesn't really get the whole concept of there just being a small window of opportunity each month. So, he doesn't get how frustrating it is when I've had a positive opk, and then decides he's too tired that night. Even though I have explained it to him, I think he thinks that a few days here and there won't make any difference. Urgh!! If only he knew how much effort went into pinpointing that exact point when you o and how annoying it is when you think you've missed it!!

I have gone down the route a few times of just telling him we have to do it that night, but then I feel like I've forced him into it, and takes all the fun out of it.

Of course, you can guarantee that the days when I'm not remotely fertile, he's as randy as a rabbit!!!

Sounds so familiar!!

 

[Natsby]

Not in anyway that doesn´t risk one of us getting arrested anyway. I´m not sure I could convince him I was just feeling sexy whilst at the docs.

I know! I'm just picturing you offering him some manual stimulation, catching said consequences in a sample cup and shimmying down the drainpipe to the docs whilst pretending to be having a shower or something.

Channel Angelina Jollie in Tombraider!

Newmarriedgal, so exciting that your numbers are going up

Now there is an idea, where are my short shorts and gun holster? ohh Honey!! (spits on palm and rubs hands together.)

 

[Macwooly]

I am really thankful and grateful as my DH is completely on board and is happy for me to tell him what is going on and he knows more about charting & temping than I do

I must admit when we were TTC in 2009 I never really knew how he felt about it all as I struggled to get him to talk to me about it all and he always seemed distant when we talked about it.

But we had huge discussions before I came off my BC again as I said that if I felt like I was doing this alone again then I would probably end up back on antidepressants. That was quite an emotional conversation but we really understood each other and how we felt about and reacted to TTC and that has really helped us this time

 

[NorthStar]

My DH is totally on board with wanting to have kids and supports that we are trying. Unfortunately he doesn't really get the whole concept of there just being a small window of opportunity each month. So, he doesn't get how frustrating it is when I've had a positive opk, and then decides he's too tired that night. Even though I have explained it to him, I think he thinks that a few days here and there won't make any difference. Urgh!! If only he knew how much effort went into pinpointing that exact point when you o and how annoying it is when you think you've missed it!!

I have gone down the route a few times of just telling him we have to do it that night, but then I feel like I've forced him into it, and takes all the fun out of it.

Of course, you can guarantee that the days when I'm not remotely fertile, he's as randy as a rabbit!!!

Check - mine is EXACTLY the same, and what makes it worse is he works away 2 weeks out of every four, so we need to nail it there is no margin for error

 

[AliGirl]

I also think that men don't have the same time pressures as us women. As has been well documented, men are capable of fathering children well into their 60's and even 70's, whereas we all know that once in our 40's our chances diminish rapidly.

My dh just doesn't have that same feeling that I do that another month gone by is another opportunity missed. He thinks we have all the time in the world!!

 

[NorthStar]

I'm hearing you! Mine is from a family where I don't think anyone has ever PLANNED a pregnancy, ie they have all conceived accidentally, not surprising as they generally had kids in their late teens and early twenties.

So, I think he's been expecting me to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat, and I'm having to gently point out that we are now 15-20 years older than most of his family were when they conceived!

 

[Natsby]

I'm hearing you! Mine is from a family where I don't think anyone has ever PLANNED a pregnancy, ie they have all conceived accidentally, not surprising as they generally had kids in their late teens and early twenties.

So, I think he's been expecting me to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat, and I'm having to gently point out that we are now 15-20 years older than most of his family were when they conceived!

Oh that sounds tough! Still I´d rather have a planned baby then I can be sure of having it with the right person, some of my first boyfriend were right oddballs.