How important is it to have a father present in a family?

[Rhio92]

Not important imo. I think it's better to have no father than a useless, uninterested one x

 

[CeeDee]

I think a father is very important in a household. My DH was raised without a father and he has no idea what it means to be a father and husband. He thinks a good father is sending child support, buying toys and spending a couple hours a month with your child. Yes, his mother, aunts, uncles, grandma and neighbors loved him, but he still has no idea what it means to be a father or husband. I’m teaching him every step of the way.

 

[mskellydenise]

My parents have been happily married for 31 years...I love my father dearly and think hes one of the greatest men on this earth so idk what its like to grow up without a father in the household...my daughter doesnt either...her father believes that seeing her 1-2 times a month from friday evening to sunday evening makes his the world's greatest dad...he truly sucks at being a father BUT my OH and my dad are both amazing men...mu OH cares for my daughter as his own and does more than her father will ever do...long story short i think as long as a child has a loving household to grow up in thats all they need

 

[nomadlife]

I think fathers are important I think having a 2 parent household can make life easier for both parents, share the load so to speak.

But not all guys are good Dads, or are worth having around because they cause more drama than they are worth (same can be applied to some mothers).

 

[AirForceWife7]

I definitely don't think it is important to have the kind of father that 'keeps the kids in line' and is the sole discipliner, that sounds really negative and controlling and definitely not something I place any value on.

I'm glad im not the only one who was at that sentence!

Didn't mean for it to sound negative, that's just always how I pictured my father growing up. To each their own. Everyone has their different opinions.

 

[AirForceWife7]

Is it just me that hates the expression 'broken home'? Well, I come from one, but my dad has always stayed in my life, but he is important because of who HE is as a person, not because he is a 'father figure' whatever that really means.

Pardon me if I have offended you, call it what you want ... but I say I'm from a broken home because my parents are not together & I haven't talked to my father in years. This is a debate forum, there's going to be things you don't like to hear. x

 

[Nibblenic]

Oh I dont know. I think if you have one brilliant parent the child/children can turn out brilliantly. Just as much as if you have two substandard parents a child can be ruined with little potential in life.

I think it is important for a child to have a influence from the opposite sex to thier main carer. Be that a close friend or relative of some description

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Is it just me that hates the expression 'broken home'? Well, I come from one, but my dad has always stayed in my life, but he is important because of who HE is as a person, not because he is a 'father figure' whatever that really means.

Pardon me if I have offended you, call it what you want ... but I say I'm from a broken home because my parents are not together & I haven't talked to my father in years. This is a debate forum, there's going to be things you don't like to hear. x

I was only stating that I disliked an expression that is commonly used, not because YOU said it particularly. Disliking something does not mean you're offended by it - there are people on this forum who are easily offended and I'm definitely not one of them!

 

[AirForceWife7]

Is it just me that hates the expression 'broken home'? Well, I come from one, but my dad has always stayed in my life, but he is important because of who HE is as a person, not because he is a 'father figure' whatever that really means.

Pardon me if I have offended you, call it what you want ... but I say I'm from a broken home because my parents are not together & I haven't talked to my father in years. This is a debate forum, there's going to be things you don't like to hear. x

I was only stating that I disliked an expression that is commonly used, not because YOU said it particularly. Disliking something does not mean you're offended by it - there are people on this forum who are easily offended and I'm definitely not one of them!

Not that statement, the one about the father being the primary disciplinarian as in my original post is the one you seemed to be drawn to. Not trying to cause any arguments here, just trying to get some intelligent opinions

 

[kcbmama]

I come from a proverbial 'broken' home. Possibly I would have made different life choices had my father been present in my younger years (we're in contact now), however I deem this to be irrelevent when I realise it could've shaped my life to be so different to what it is now and I doubt I would have met my DH which doesn't bear thinking about.
That being said I wasn't without a 'father' figure per say, my maternal grandfather was a constant in our lives growing up and my older brother provided a male view when needed. I feel I messed up on my life and would used to blame my father for not being present, however now I realise it was my decision to take those routes and it as made me the person I am today.

To answer the question, Yes I do feel it is important to have a father figure in a child's life, though as so many have pointed it's not always best or indeed viable that the biological father be in their lives. DH is a great father to our daughter and I like to think if anything happens, he'll always be part of her and our other LO's lives.

I have to say I don't see men as the 'disciplinary' of the family. My mother never raised a hand to us, yet would scare us silly by threatening to and carrying out said threat of sending us to our room (we had no playstations or tellys even than!) Though has to be said DD takes more notice of DH when he tells her off than myself!

I agree also that having a relationship with 2 separated and happy parents is better than living in a house with 2 unhappily attached parents.

 

[Sherileigh]

I think it's valued if there's a loving decent one there, but if there isn't, I think with a strong loving mother they'll be fine.
DH had TWO father figures in his life and a mother and the 3 of them managed to f*ck him up quite badly with all their screw ups. I'm sure he would've been a million times better off with one decent parent!

 

[katrina1987]

To me I think it is very important for a child to have there father or a father figure. Children need a male role as much as a female role for all different reasons. I can see friends of ours around us with toddlers similar age to my son splitting up left right and centre and the mum being on there own whilst the father moves out and I think its always so sad and awful for the child. I always want my son to grow up with his dad there, he is an important person to guide and teach him especially I think being a boy. People may not agree and im certainlly not critacising any of the single mums either, but for me I think its very important

 

[elephant29]

Hmmm...

I'm a little torn over this one. My dad was 15 when I was born and he wasnt in my life for 16 years. I missed him for those 16 years...or maybe the image I had built up of him. However when he did appear he was an alcoholic and I spent the next 10 years of my life hating him for how he treated me until he died when I was 26.

So I was sad when he wasnt around and I was sad when he was.

I think if the father...or father figure...is a good man, a good influence and someone who loves their family and puts them before anything else then yes, I think a father is a very important person in a childs life.

xxx

 

[tallybee]

Hmmm...

I'm a little torn over this one. My dad was 15 when I was born and he wasnt in my life for 16 years. I missed him for those 16 years...or maybe the image I had built up of him. However when he did appear he was an alcoholic and I spent the next 10 years of my life hating him for how he treated me until he died when I was 26.

So I was sad when he wasnt around and I was sad when he was.

I think if the father...or father figure...is a good man, a good influence and someone who loves their family and puts them before anything else then yes, I think a father is a very important person in a childs life.

xxx