How lazy is too lazy ?

[rosegarden620]

I work 36 hrs a week at the hospital and I keep setting my days off up so that they are full of productive activities, but I never end up meeting my "goals". Hubby calls me crazy and practically begs me to chill out but I still feel so useless.

Like today...today I was supposed to clean the house, go to the library with the girls, take them to lunch, then back to school shopping, then the hardware store, then making dinner after hitting up the market for a few missing items!

Hubby made me push back taking the dog to the groomer and said he would go to the hardware store with me after he got off of work and the girls acted so bratty, so I cancelled the fun plans and have only cleaned (thorough OCD cleaned) the house with the older girls helping and NOW I'm washing clothes, trying to figure out if I should just say "we are eating out" which won't be an issue but I'll feel USELESS....

boo!!

Why do I feel so lazy and useless?? I just want to be a good productive mom.

 

[Fruitmash]

I can't do what you planned on my best days when not pregnant lol! You're creating an entire, complex human from next to nothing, don't be so hard on your self!

 

[cskme_]

My days are scheduled a lot like yours, always crazy busy running around. I work 44 hour work weeks and sometimes I just want to go to sleep mid day lol. I understand exactly what you mean about wanting to be productive. Sometimes I want to let myself rest and then I worry about when it's going to be done, or will I create more work for myself in the future? Little things like eating out will help I think. Sometimes I make a meal so big that everyone has to eat leftovers the next day. Then it gives you a bit of spare time the next evening you don't have to make dinner! Idk a couple of little things here and there will give you some resting time. Don't feel lazy! You are doing beyond what some people do in a whole week!

 

[Genevevex]

Psht! That is a crazy day you had planned! You can't be super-mommy right now; don't try. You are setting yourself up for frustration. Set reasonable goals. Your body is working hard right now and you need to give it a break.

We all definitely WANT to be super productive, especially when pregnant, but that's just not reasonable.

I'm working 40 hours a week (plus 2 hours each day to commute), then come home to two toddlers. I want to do housework and play with them and take them places and do projects for the new baby... but I can't. Some nights it's all I can do to help get the two of them into bed. You have to be willing to make some sacrifices until the baby gets here. Do what has to be done right now, delegate what you can, and take it easy!

 

[LDC]

A lot of these things are expectations we put on ourselves, you've written you were "supposed to" do all of those things, but I'm guessing you were the one who said you were supposed to do them! Your body is going through a lot right now, so don't beat yourself up and get support where you can, like your oh going to the hard wear store, otherwise come your due date you're going to be beat.

Sometimes the productive mum is one that gets up and just sits in her pjs and has a day at home with the kids!

Xx

 

[rosegarden620]

Thanks ladies for your wonderful advice! We ordered out and then I had a warm-ish bubble bath followed by lots of online shopping while hubby slept.

It was awesome

 

[Amygdala]

I don't think you should be putting yourself down like that. A deep-clean of the house, while looking after 3 children is NOT lazy. You are definitely not useless. You're looking after 3 kids and making a fourth one, even if you did nothing else at all all day, that'd be a big job! I know you can't help how you feel about yourself but I really think you should make an effort to speak to and about yourself with more appreciation. Plus there are many, many women out there who accomplish less in a typical day and who will read this and feel "useless" and "lazy" themselves now. Let's not put that extra pressure on ourselves. I think actual laziness is incredibly rare. Most people do what they can with the energy and time they have.

 

[Miss_Cellany]

Wow, you do loads! I only work 19.5 hours a week with an hour commute either side. On the days I work it's all I can do to get me and my son out the house and make dinner for me and DH in the evening! Sometimes I'll do some ironing or tidying in the evenings but most the time I just veg on the sofa! On days I'm at home I tend to play with my son with some smaller chores like a quick shop, laundry or hoovering. Don't think I've ever packed as much as you do in!