how long does it take?

[Dopeyjopey]

To feel happy? I split with FOB at 28 weeks or so and was devastated. Then i realised i probably didn't reallly want him and it was just hormones. We agreed to be friends but we were still sleeping together (silly, i know). At the beginning of the month i found out he is seeing someone and it really hurt to think that someone else is better than me and albert put together

Now i am dreaming about him ecery night without fail, very vivid dreams where he's changed and comes back to me. I'm so torn, i know i'm better off without him but part of me refuses to velieve that. When will i start to feel less sad?

 

[gemabee]

for a start u need to break away from him completely or u will never be happy!!
it sounds like he's havin his cake nd eating it too... he's using u nd sounds like an absolute knob!!!
but on what timescale it takes to get over him nd start feelin happier in urself... its all relative hun... but the sooner u make that break nd start bein strong for u nd lo... the sooner u'll be happy.
xx

 

[Dopeyjopey]

Well we won't be sleeping together any more because he's seeing someone and i don't tolerate cheaters. But i can't break away completely for Albert's sake. It's just so bloody hard

 

[bloodbinds]

I'd say a couple of months minimum. Took me about 3 i think? 3 months before i didn't think about him all the time, and when i saw him it was a whole 'big deal?' thing. I as fussed about him anymore and got on with my life. But it is different for everyone though so it might be longer or shorter xx

 

[gemabee]

Well we won't be sleeping together any more because he's seeing someone and i don't tolerate cheaters. But i can't break away completely for Albert's sake. It's just so bloody hard

you need to break away from him completely feelings wise... he'll obviously want to be there for his child... but there's no reason that u have to keep tryin to be in a relationship with him.
u need to be strong... he's with someone else now so any chance of a relationship between the 2 of u has gone.
first step is to accept its fully over... stop pinnin ur hopes on a reconcilliation... start lookin forward.
only then can u start gettin over him... nd only then will u start becomin happy again.
it took me 3 / 4 months to get over my ex... but until i accepted that he wasn't gonna magically change his mind nd want me back... all i did was cry
it will get easier... but u do NEED to let go xxx

 

[Dopeyjopey]

Slight breakthrough today. He came round, held Albert for 10 minutes and then got his laptop out to use our wireless for 2 hours. I couldn't wait for him to leave. I obviously am pining for the person i thought he was, not the one he is!

 

[xxfluffyxx]

im sorry to think you are going thru such a hard time!! DONT let him put you thru anymore hurt and upset!! I agree with gemabee,he is having his cake and eating it!! why should he ever have the benefits of sleeping with you without any emotional attatchments or commitment to your feelings etc??? he sounds like a right A$$hole!! you deserve much better!! and I know it must be really really hard that he is with someone else now! but mayb it was all for luck!! somethn had to change to make you(eventually) feel better! LET HER TAKE HIS CRAP!! and let him treat her badly! at least you and your baby arent stuck with him!! although VERY hard and upsetting you can get thru it!! im struggling every day but its all i can do ,as most of the people around here! dont let him use you or bum the internet off you either!! tell him to F*ck off!!! obv let him see the child etc...but you are better than that and can be a strong,independant woman!! you said you "dont tolerate cheaters" dont tolerate his shit either!!! who knows how long it will take?? you can do it!!! ........hugs xxxxx