How long should I wait to tell??

[Wishing89]

Hello ladies. Just after opinions. So my group of girlfriends and I went for breakfast this morning and I was going to let them know I'm 9 weeks pregnant. Anyway one of my other friends announced that she is 8 weeks pregnant. This is her first baby so I'm super excited for her but I didn't want to make it about me at all being my second baby so I kept quiet.

My question is how long should I wait now. Is a week or two enough? Or should I wait longer. I'm excited to and really excited that we'll get to share it I just don't want to take away from her either.

 

[Nina83]

If the only reason you're waiting to tell is to let her "shine" you're a good friend!
I'm kind of in the same situation at work, a girl in my dept. is about 16 weeks and she told everyone last week.
Now, I was on the verge of telling everyone as well, but eh, let her be happy and be the center of attention right now. I'll get my time in a couple of weeks. She actually talks a lot about it right now and it's kind of bugging me, especially because she knows I'm pregnant and knows no one else knows. That's just me being strange though.
It's really nice to have someone around the same time as you! I think I'd wait a week or two, maybe talk to your pregnant friend first though, so she knows you're not trying to rain on her parade.

 

[Leinzlove]

That is super sweet. Just tell them all when you feel like you'll burst. A week or two would suffice!

 

[pinkcatgirl]

I would tell her in a week or so, she may really like having someone to go through it with and compare experiences with! Maybe tell her first on her own? If you leave it too long it might look weird that you knew and didn't say anything.

 

[Ziggie]

There's that many people newly pregnant in my work I'm thinking about just telling my boss and no one else. They will suss it fairly quick as some are on my Facebook, and as I live away from family I will be posting something on there for them. I'm more excited about my friends knowing.

I think you should tell her, I bet she will be REALLY excited to have a bump buddy!! I know I would if it was a good friend

 

[Wishing89]

I will definitely be telling them sooner rather than later I just feel a little bad jumping out saying I'm pregnant to! I'm excited to have a bump buddy but I know it's her first baby so I feel like its kind of more special for her. I feel a bit awkward also because now when I tell them I'll be like oh and I'm due before you so I hope she doesn't get upset. I'm sure my feelings are probably silly lol maybe it's just the hormones

 

[Nina83]

I'm sure she won't be upset! You'll only be due a week before her! And a week doesn't mean much, you could be late, she could be early, who knows!
I understand how you could feel awkward but it's only to you
I'm sure she'll be thrilled to have someone to talk to, I know I am!

 

[Andi86]

She will be happy. When i told my friend I was pregnant and she said "me too"(with her third). I was estatic for her and for us to go through it together since her due date is two days before me. Also our babies get to grow up together and be friends. Its something that will make your friendship closer.

 

[Nina83]

Can I hijack this thread?
I know I said above I'll tell, but as the day passes I'm getting more and more of this "feeling".
Like if/when I tell people will think it's because I'm jealous of her and want attention.
Which is ridicules, I know, It's not something I can make up. But the thought is in my mind. Like I'm puppy dogging her, following her around and copying her.
The more and more she talks aloud about it, and people say things to her, the more and more I want to hide and keep my news to myself.
I'm being stupid, right?

 

[Andi86]

I think if any of your friends would actually think that your stealing their thunder or just copying them, then its time to evaluate your friendships with them. To me that wouldn't be people I would want to call my friends. A true friend would be happy for you regardless of anything else. Unless its just your own insecurities as to why you feel this way...then maybe you should talk to someone about it,look at why you feel this way and what you can do to be more positive towards yourself. Same goes for the original thread starter.

 

[Nina83]

I think if any of your friends would actually think that your stealing their thunder or just copying them, then its time to evaluate your friendships with them. To me that wouldn't be people I would want to call my friends. A true friend would be happy for you regardless of anything else. Unless its just your own insecurities as to why you feel this way...then maybe you should talk to someone about it,look at why you feel this way and what you can do to be more positive towards yourself. Same goes for the original thread starter.

I actually work with 2 departments, and one I feel will think I'm acting out of jealousy, while the other I know will be truly happy for me.
I am not close with any of the girls in the first, even though that is my "mother dept."
I guess I do need to rethink who my "real" friends are at work.
It's just a stinky feeling.

 

[purplecupcake]

Can I hijack this thread?
I know I said above I'll tell, but as the day passes I'm getting more and more of this "feeling".
Like if/when I tell people will think it's because I'm jealous of her and want attention.
Which is ridicules, I know, It's not something I can make up. But the thought is in my mind. Like I'm puppy dogging her, following her around and copying her.
The more and more she talks aloud about it, and people say things to her, the more and more I want to hide and keep my news to myself.
I'm being stupid, right?

Yes, you're being silly Why so worried about what your friends will think? They don't really sound like friends if you think they will think all these negative things about you.

You're 9 weeks pregnant. It's not like you heard her announcement and rushed home and became pregnant...you already were.

If you're really worried about it, you can wait until 12 weeks, that way everyone will just assume you were waiting for that milestone. But honestly, I think everyone is going to be like "why didn't you tell us when so-and-so did?!".

 

[Wishing89]

Nina I think once you hit 12 weeks it's definitely fair game for you to announce. If you have a lot of people at your work there is bound to be more than one pregnant lady. Don't worry about them at all. Ha ha easy for me to say lol. I'm glad I'm not too worried about work other than my bosses reaction since I've only been there 5 months!

As for my friend I'll wait until our next get together maybe I'll see usually we have them every few weeks. Or I might be a coward and text them in a week or so.

 

[AMB1216]

Awe! I don't know how you waited 9 weeks, I literally told EVERYONE the day I found out xD
Soon you won't be able to hide it x) that little bump will start poking out. If you want to wait another week that's fine, it'll give your friend time to have attention on her but I think she'd be happy that you two are pregnant together as well. Do whatever you feel is right, I hate keeping secrets. Like I don't want to tell anyone the gender until we do a reveal photoshoot but I have a feeling as soon as I know I'll blab x)

 

[Wishing89]

I think I'll be more excited to share it with someone lol. I'm pretty proud of myself for keeping it this long but after two early losses I've been so nervous. DF and I finally told his parents yesterday and they were very happy. They absolutely dote on our DS. I'm yet to tell my mum or DFs brothers. Maybe next week.

My symptoms haven't been bad at all later I'm just tired which makes me nervous. I also haven't yet found baby's HB on my doppler yet but I'm only 9+2 today so I'll give it a bit longer I suppose.

 

[AMB1216]

Yeah I'm 11w2d and haven't found the HB with my Iphone doppler app, but thats more of a stethoscope which I heard usually can't find a HB until 16-20 weeks. But I go in Wednesday to hear the heartbeat with an actual doppler. I'm sure you're baby is fine and Yeah I understand wanting to wait since you've lost 2 pregnancies. I wouldn't worry too much about not having many symptoms, consider yourself lucky. Mine vary from day to day but I know from about 6 1/2 weeks to 9 weeks I was nauseous all day. I started to worry when my sore boobs stopped being super sore but every once in a while it'll come back mainly around my nipples and I've been exhausted.
If you want, you can wait until you get an U/S or hear a HB to tell, or have you already had those? I know they sometimes do early scans and stuff when you've had previous losses.

 

[Wishing89]

I did have an u/s at 7+2 and all was well. Little baby with a heartbeat which was pretty reassuring. Yeah I think the iPhone app is for a lot later than normal dopplers.

 

[britgirl82]

If you're worried about thunder stealing/looking like you're copying etc, then you could just not make a big 'announcement' - just mention it casually when it makes sense (when you're offered a glass of wine after work or something). That way, you're clearly not making a big fuss but treating it calmly and rationally.

 

[shmunster]

When I told one of my best friends I was 12 weeks pregnant she showed me a photo of her positive test lol! Its both our 2nd babies, but I was thrilled for her, and thrilled we'd be going through it together! She's 8 weeks behind me

 

[Wishing89]

It's not so much copying I'm worried about. After all this is an Ivf baby that's been in the works since October. I just don't want her to be upset. At the end of the day it's her first and it's a very special time.

Anyway I don't know how much longer I can last lol