How many children is too many?

[summer rain]

I have 4 and the society here in the UK isn't geared to even that amount, housing (either social or private) caters for maybe two adults and two kids, cars suitable for large familes are very rare and expensive. When we book travellodge or premier inn we have to book 2 rooms because we have too many kids lol. If we moved to the USA or middle east I would love to have a lot more kids but here its a logistical nightmare. Regarding the environmental impact, if you buy/cook in bulk it often uses the same or even less packaging and/or energy than if you buy or cook for just a couple of people, our electricity and gas bills are the same as families we know who have only 2 or even just 1 kid at home; and our weekly shopping bill is half of my mum and dads; even though they have only one of my sisters at home now.

 

[mummy3]

We have 4 kids and want another 2 and that's our limit. I'm a SAHM and huby works fulltime, we get absolutely nothing from the government and pay a hell of alot in tax. For us, much as we love newborns lol our family would be too big with more than 6 kids, we feel we would be stretched to thin.

I have no problem with people having large families if they can pay for them and support them emotionally Accidents happen sure but planning a huge family with no means to support them is too many children!

As for environmental issues, if people only had the kids they could support then the carbon footprint would naturally decrease or at least even out.

I'm probably being a bit harsh but due to personal experience with a woman at my kids school who will not leave me alone asking constantly for money to buy things for the 3 kids out of 6 she has been able to keep, its close to home. Btw I'm not being hard on her, she really does get enough money she just wastes it and is a complete stalker lol

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I like things simple lol I have a boy and a girl, 3 bedroom house, and I can handle them both on my own. Thats whats important to me.

I spend at least 40mins after school with each child with JUST me. I couldnt do this if I had anymore.

 

[crossroads]

I find the Duggars kind of creepy, but if you are bringing up eco-footprint as a reason to have fewer children, they have a very eco-friendly lifestyle. The one episode of their show that I saw had them addressing this issue and talking about all the ways they re-use and recycle stuff. I have a feeling that their kids have a fraction of the toys and clothes and stuff that the average American child has.

As for the OP, I don't make that judgement for other people. As long as the children's needs are being met (obviously that includes emotional needs), I have no issue with how many children a family has.

What I'm asking is,

Is there a point where the parents can't possibly give a fair amount of attention to each child? At what number would this point be reached?

 

[morri]

By the way. The US pays less taxes than they di in 1958 and are the last of 75 'developed' countries.

 

[mummy3]

Yeah less taxes but a stupid amount in health insurance

 

[sequeena]

I think it depends on the individual couple. My sister has 7 children, 6 are adopted and have been for about 10 years and the one who isn't adopted (her adoptive home broke down so she went back to care) has 18 and is due her first child mid July. Definitely too many though I they are better off with their adoptive parents.

 

[cleckner04]

I'm personally only going to have 3 at the max. Because I want each of my kids to get a lot of good one on one time and attention and I don't think it is possible at all with a million and one kids. I am also spacing my kids out in age a bit for similar reasons(although I didn't do it on purpose at first but it makes the most sense to me now) so when our first starts school, I'll have 1 on 1 time with the next. There is also the fact that we could easily buy a house big enough that the kids wouldn't have to share rooms and could get them around in only a car so we wouldn't have to buy a giant van or SUV. And DH and I take at least one big vacation every year and I absolutely cannot picture myself doing that with more than 3 kids.

 

[Sarahkka]

I find the Duggars kind of creepy, but if you are bringing up eco-footprint as a reason to have fewer children, they have a very eco-friendly lifestyle. The one episode of their show that I saw had them addressing this issue and talking about all the ways they re-use and recycle stuff. I have a feeling that their kids have a fraction of the toys and clothes and stuff that the average American child has.

As for the OP, I don't make that judgement for other people. As long as the children's needs are being met (obviously that includes emotional needs), I have no issue with how many children a family has.

What I'm asking is,

Is there a point where the parents can't possibly give a fair amount of attention to each child? At what number would this point be reached?

It's not something you can quantify and apply across the board.
There are parents who don't give their only child enough attention, and I know of several friends, both children of large families and/or parents of four or more children, who have an incredible family life and are very emotionally secure/or supportive, whichever role they are in.
It's highly individual and situational.
There is no number.

 

[Blah11]

i'd like 4. i think once it gets over 10, it starts getting a bit much in general

 

[amie-leigh]

i dont think i can say a certain number is too many because i have one child and feel that is enough for me but my SIL has 3 and doesn't work sponges every benefit possible (not a dig at those on benefits just a dig at SIL) and i'd say in her case 3 is to many yet she is trying for number 4 and her reason is "its my choice to have as many kids as i want and as long as i get paid for it who cares" people like her make me mad

 

[babyno9]

I have 8. I recycle, don't have a car, so walk or use public transport. I pass down alot of clothes but also buy new. Don't go on holidays abroad, so not poluting the air. I can manage fine with the amount i have, they are well mannered, well behaved kids and i always get compliments on how good/well turnt out they are.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I dont know how people do it lol. I spend over 40mins each night with each of them sorting baths, homework and general chat with both of them, I could not do this with more?? How do you do it!!

 

[babyno9]

Mine have baths every morning, takes an hour to get everyone bathed, dressed, have breakfast, do hair etc before school. When they get home from school i'll do reading books, homework gets done on a monday night. The girl's quite happily play together if i'm occupied with another. We all sit and chat together when having dinner. Theres plenty of opportunity to talk one-to-one, like when i'm bathing them, or washing their hair, while we're reading their books, while we're sitting in the garden, when i'm cooking dinner etc.. The girl's know they can come and talk to me whenever they want and quite often one will run up to me when they are all playing just to have a chat or a cuddle.

 

[Laura2919]

I have two and I would like one more but I am happy with the girls so if I dont have any more I will be ok.
If you can provide them with love and attention and can afford them then have them. Everyone is different, some want a large family and some want a small family..

 

[indy and lara]

Babyno9, I am in awe of you. It is fantastic to read a postive story about how someone manages multiple children. Your children sound very loved and cherished.

 

[ttc_lolly]

I don't know if there is a limit tbh... but I would say that they shouldn't have any/anymore than what they can afford to bring up without just looking to the government for financial help (i.e. these parents on JSA or IS that continue to have more babies but not looking or have any desire to work)

 

[JASMAK]

I think it's too many if you can't cope with the amount you have. For some, one is too many, and for others, perhaps there is no limit.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Babyno9, I am in awe of you. It is fantastic to read a postive story about how someone manages multiple children. Your children sound very loved and cherished.

Yes, I agree. Thank you for your input hun xxx

 

[katrina1987]

personally 2 but thats what I think for us, 2pairs of hands, 2children and I think that works well