How many kids is too many?

[Eternal]

Just as the title says, Ill add my 2pence worth later. hehe

 

[citymouse]

As many as you can support yourself, in every sense of the word "support"--emotionally, educationally, financially, nutritionally, etc.

For some women, one is too many, and some families thrive with 10 or 12.

I have to say, I like watching the Duggars (well, I used to, before it became all bus trips to weird places), but I have noticed how little freedom the older girls have AND how little attention Jordyn (the 2-year-old) gets from the mom compared to Josie (the 1-year-old micropreemie). I understand that some children have amped-up needs, but it seems like the tide has never turned back in Jordyn's favor, and I feel for her.

But in general, I really like and admire big families. I have an enormous extended family and I cherish being part of such an amazing group of people!

 

[Lightworker]

I think it depends very much on the parent(s). Whether or not you have "too many" children depends on your personality as a parent, your financial stability, your patience, your idea of how children are to be raised etc.

Very many things to take into consideration, and everyone will be different.

For me I would love to have 10 even. But on reflection, I have to take into account my own personality, my own personal career ambitions, my capacity to care for children etc. After taking all that into account, I have arrived at the magic number of 4 (or maybe 5) children.

I do always like to add at the end of these kinds of threads that it doesn't matter how many children I think I will have, all that is out of my hands as I believe how many children you have is pre-destined, so whilst I like the debate, I feel it is all very theoretical as in practice, you will have as many children as you were meant to. People who only wanted one, might end up with 7, people who wanted many, might end up with 1.

Eternal I have missed your threads!! x

 

[vaniilla]

I think as many as you can support as well, its a bit like this for me

can you afford them against can you afford to spend enough time with each of them individually, if you chose not to work then can you still afford to look after them? for example someone that earns £100k a year in a job that takes up 60 hours a week probably should only have a couple as there wouldn't be enough time in the day, equally if he quit and had no money coming in then any kids would be too many if somebody else like a partner wasn't providing for them, all living things need at least the basics - food, shelter, love and the ability to be an individual with private space/time and this should all be to a good standard i.e not wearing the best clothes, eating the best food but being able to have real meals and not have to wear ripped clothes or go without.

 

[Eternal]

I agree with all you ladies.

Im suddenly going from 1 to 3! eck! which is a huge step, but i really would love one more, 4 sounds perfect for me. i wonder if ill end up with triplets though :S not sure i could cope then lol!

I know people from and with big families and as long as each child is loved and cared for and provided by finicially, emotionally etc by the parents, then i see no issue, infact i think its lovely.

 

[Eternal]

Eternal I have missed your threads!! x

Awww thanks thats sweet, i always think i write a load of nonsense lol!

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

i agree with light worker i never wanted any children.. and i have one i do think there has to at least try to be some common sense in it! i wouldn't intentionally try to have 5 children if i lived under the poverty line for example x

 

[Nibblenic]

I think like other have said as many as you can financially and emotionally support on your own.
Including taking into account possible break down of relationships

 

[cherryglitter]

my old neighbour had 6 children and 1 angel. she loves them all to pieces, they never had a lot of money but they were all clothed, fed and loved!!
they're very close and you can just see how much they all love each other!

it's really nice!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I dont think its really all about money, I think you should support yourself yes, but its also about time. Time is priceless. I think it depends on the age gaps too! I Think sometimes kids miss out on valuable 1-1 time with parents which is sad sorry thats just my opinion. I mean extremes though.

 

[mummy3]

I have 4, we would eventually like 6. I think there's a lot of factors involved in how many children is too many but for me it would boil down to financial, time and love but not necasarily in that order!

I'm a SAHM so time with my LO's is not really an issue, between 5am and bedtime there's plenty of opportunity for 1 to 1, group time and baby gets breastfed Daddy gets weekends off so he can bond. Financially we provide easily with no assistance and for that we are very grateful, we can give all our kids what they need without compromise ( what they want, not always but thats not down to money). Love is without question important to any child.

The number this works out to will be different to everyone. I would say if you cant provide your kid/s with the basic needs without relying on others then you have too many kid/s.

I love your threads eternal

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

for me I always say 2 hands 2 kids lol, I just feel content but its good we all have a different idea of what size family we want x

 

[smelly07]

I agree with midnight_fairy in regards to the time aspect but i also think finacial reasons should be a big factor.

We are stopping at 2 children for finacial reasons as well as others.

I want to have some sort of quality of life for all 4 of us and not have to worry about money/bills/being in debt or live pay cheque to pay cheque.

As a four we feel complete x

 

[Mindy_mini]

Too many is when the parents can't support their family alone - financially, emotionally, physically - when I say physically I mean things like clothes, food on table, room in house, opportunities to follow their hobbies etc.

I personally think it's terrible when people who can't financially support the children they've got go on to purposely have more children. It's just wrong on all levels.

I'd like 3, we think we can comfortably afford 2 and will make a decision about no 3 when the time comes but if we have any concerns we won't go for the third

 

[MamaBelle]

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