How many times a month do you BD?

[colsy]

As the question title says.

We're supposed to be NTNP, but I'm not very good at the 'not trying' part, so although I don't check my temp, or use OPKs or investigate my CM, I still try to get the timing just right. But so far (5 or 6 months) no luck.

My sex drive is way down there with the worst of them, and I hate to say this but sometimes I just can't be bothered. So what I'm really trying to say is this - have we been unsuccessful so far simply because we're not BDing enough? (We average about 6 times a month, all around approx ovulation time.)

 

[CARNAT22]

Depends really - sometimes it can be as little as once a week (so maybe 4 times per month) if we're both really busy but other times it's a lot more.

This month since we're TTC (I say NTNP but it's more like 80% TTC ) we've been more conscious to have sex during my fertile time. It was about 5 times? Which is quite a lot to cram into a few days LOL!

However it did start feeling like a chore, especially for my poor OH!

We've had sex before and after my fertile days as well...

There is nothing like TTC to kill sex drive and if your's is already quite low then I guess sticking to sex around ovulation is your best bet?

I guess the trick is to try and keep things as romantic as possible? Candles, soft music, a nice massage? That will be my plan of action next month so the OH doesn't feel like a sperm machine

 

[klsltsp]

Hey Ladies..

Well I'd say we do 2 - 3 times a week, and oddly enough we do it more when I'm not fertile hahaha funny it's almost like my way of showing DH that I don't only want to BD when I'm fertile.. lol this is my effort to not make him stress out.

For instance last night he didn't want to because I was ovulating and he said it would feel like we were TTC.. oh good god.. I said get over it!!! LOL and then I won and we did

Kim

 

[nickibrum]

i would say sometimes we have at least 4 times a month but we will still be er.... pleasuring each other it just doesnt always finish in sex. i think thats important to a relationship so that sex doesnt feel like a chore.

Its hard sometimes because my OH works unsocial hours and I work 8.30-5.30. He is more frisky in the morning, im more frisky at night. You could maybe try not focusing on the sex so much? you might find you end up bd'ing more. Which will hopefully bring the

 

[psychnut09]

Probably 3-4 times a week... we just enjoy being with eachother and one thing leads to another, with Hubby's new hours at work we get more alone time and he isnt so tired all the time

 

[polaris]

Hi Colsy,
we don't really manage it even that often usually. Maybe about four to six times at a maximum but quite often less. My sex drive is pretty low since having Thomas although it is usually better around ovulation time. And it is just tricky to find the time sometimes. I know it's advised to BD regularly throughout the month but I just can't manage it. Most of the time we can't really even manage every second day coming up to ovulation. This is the main reason I class myself as NTNP rather than TTC.

 

[YouandMe]

We haven't even started TTC yet and I already feel like my SO is feeling pressured to the point of not BD'ing as often as we used too! It used to be around 2 times a week, usually one week night and one weekend time. I know TMI, LOL. Now though, I'm lucky if we do ONCE on the weekend. And since I stopped my BC which I only had 4 AF's a year on I feel like there is even LESS time to make it happen! Suddenly I feel like we haven't BD'd in 2 weeks and here comes AF!! We're still loving and close just hasn't beeen in "that" way a lot lately.

It doesn't help that his hours were cut at work so I think that is a pretty big blow to a man's ego...I just feel like now that we set a January date to start TTC he is feeling stage fright LOL Anyone else feel like this happens with their SO?

 

[SLCMommy]

DH & I usually BD probably 3-4 a week.

 

[Kerryb2001]

Colsy- we typically bd 2 times a week, sometimes more depending on the weekend. This month, I have been charting and we did it 4 times in one week assuming my ovulation was happening around then. One thing I would suggest is to do something to make you feel good about yourself, for example, new haircut, pedicure, new clothes, regularly workout. this is not for your husbands benefit but for your self-esteem. I've noticed when I feel better about myself, I feel friskier and actually more free in the department. fx for you.

 

[gardenofedens]

OH has a super high sex drive and he'd go for 2-3 times a day every day if I could keep up. Ovulating or not, he doesn't care. My sex drive is much, much lower and a lot of times, I can't be bothered to I always end up enjoying it when he works hard enough to get me in the mood but sometimes it just takes a lot to get there, lol. Poor guy, I think he takes it personally too. We BD at least once per week. Weekends once or twice per day most times. And if we're on break from school, we BD quite a bit more. I think my problem mostly is that I'm always tired now since I work full time and went back to school for my teaching credentials at night. Anyway, we've had perfectly timed BDing several cycles and still haven't had a so it's definitely not for a lack of trying!

 

[blondeNklutzi]

We BD probably 5-7 times per week. It really has nothing to do with TTC, we just like it! I would say don't worry too much about the sex part, and ovulation, just enjoy the sex.

 

[Rin731]

Dh and I ....4-5 days a week.

 

[letia659]

it really depends we have times when its almost every day for a week or so then we can go a month without even 1 time but we do have a toddler that sleeps in our bed most nights and if I dont move him we dont but this week he has went to bed before us (in his brothers room!) so we been having one of the good weeks we dont talk about ttc he knows we are NTNP obviously but we dont discuss it I should O if it happens around this weekend so prolly wont do anything then but we are very busy packing to move!

 

[Ler]

Hi. I am new to the forum and am really struggling with your abbreviations. Having to guess or just get the gist of your posts? I appreciate BD is sex - but why BD? and what is AF and all the others?
We have been told to have sex every other day which we are really struggling with. We have it most nights twice on weekend days usually, unless I'm working nights.
Getting moody when not able to have it cos it's not the night so have ended up giving up on it this week and just doing what we want. I'm expecting to ovulate on Friday.

 

[loveandbabies]

Hi. I am new to the forum and am really struggling with your abbreviations. Having to guess or just get the gist of your posts? I appreciate BD is sex - but why BD? and what is AF and all the others?
We have been told to have sex every other day which we are really struggling with. We have it most nights twice on weekend days usually, unless I'm working nights.
Getting moody when not able to have it cos it's not the night so have ended up giving up on it this week and just doing what we want. I'm expecting to ovulate on Friday.

Hi! The abbreviations can be confusing!

BD= baby dancing aka sex
AF= Aunt flow aka period
Baby dust= good luck on concieving
TTC= trying to concieve
NTNP= not trying not protecting
O= ovulation
DPO= days past ovulation
CD= cycle day

Those are all I can think of off the top of my head! Hope it helps!

 

[gardenofedens]

Here's a cheat sheet of the abbreviations: https://www.babyandbump.com/forum-help-testing-area/730-babyandbump-lingo-abbreviations.html

 

[c1403]

I dont know if the pill affects sex drive or i just want a baby so i like to know ive BD alot, but when i was on it we only had sex once maybe twice a week.
Since I came off in August its been 3-5 times a week and my sex drive is now higher than OH's, as hes usually quite tired after work and i need to get him in the mood.

Im making sure i get lots in this weekend as i should be ovulating sometime soon

 

[disneygal]

For DH and I it really depends on our work schedules. When I worked full time in the city I was never in the mood with an hour and a half commute each day. We were newlyweds and DH was getting worried that I wasn't attracted to him physically anymore... lol. Then when I was laid off my drive jumped up and we were going at it a lot more especially because I was on BC. Now I'm off the pill and my drive is the best it has ever been and feel like I am always the one asking for sexy time... DH is interested most of the time but when he's not he says he's not 18 anymore. IDK.

 

[skyraaa]

prob about 4 times a week

 

[destinyfaith]

for last 3 months we did it everyotherdays and then i was sick last month so only did it once! and i fell pregnant! lol sooo i dont know if doing it more does acually increase your chances long as you hit ovulation ? xx