How often does your oh/dh go out or do hobbies?

[Yo_Yo]

I'm a sahm with two kids and one on the way, and going through a tough pregnancy with complications that left me havivg to rest up and take it easy. Luckily my sister is on hand to help temporarily.
My hubby thinks it's ok for him to go off playing tennis 4, sometimes 5 times a week (about 8/9 hours per week)

I asked him to cut it down to 3 times a week , and he says he can't and was quite annoyed. Apparently he needs the practice...

He does work a full on job 7am 5pm mon to fri. So I feel I never see him!

He thinks I'm being unreasonable asking him to cut it down, and says most other guys get to do even more than him?! Is this true ladies?!

How often goes your oh/dh go off and indulge in hobbies/time out of house doing what they want?

 

[phoenix333]

My OH has been out....maybe 3 times without me. Once to a stag do and twice to the cinema to see films I don't like. I don't ask him to stay in and it's probably unhealthy to spend so much time together, but his hobbies are mainly drawing and watching films. Anything else he does, he involves me in and we do together

I think hobbies and time apart can be a good thing. I think once or twice a week would be perfectly acceptable but in my opinion, 4-5 times a week is excessive and unreasonable. I would be feeling neglected in your shoes.

I hope you can get him to understand and spend more time with you

 

[modified]

He thinks I'm being unreasonable asking him to cut it down, and says most other guys get to do even more than him?! Is this true ladies?!

In my experience, this is what most men spout when their OH mentions being unhappy with the amount of time they're swanning off doing their own thing!

 

[MrsMandy]

Maybe I'm just a bit too independent myself or its cause we dont have kids just yet but during the week I only see my hubby every other Wednesday and Fridays (unless its darts season then occasionally he'll go out) and weekends after he finishes work on Saturday's at 5pm. (So he is out 3-5 nights a week)
I honestly dont mind as I've always liked my own company. I've always thought its what keeps us strong as we're not in each others pockets and getting annoyed with each other all the time. And the evenings we are together is quality time together. Plus when he gets home about 9.30-10pm we spend an hour or so catching up on the day.
But as I say, my feelings on this may change after we have kids but I rekcon even then it'll 2-3 evenings a week he'll be out!

 

[Mushymilkfor2]

My husband literally has no outside hobbies. His main hobby is cigars and pipe tobacco. Like, to the point he goes into a cigar shop and explains certain cigars to the people who own the business.

On one hand though, we did just move to where we live about 4 months ago, and it's a very elderly type town so there's really not much for either of us to do outside of hanging with each other.

Which we both still very much love to do.

 

[emyandpotato]

Drinks until 9ish after work on Friday as it's a free bar for his company. And that's it really apart from the occasional weekend when he stays with his parents and takes LO. His hobbies are Xbox and WOW though so I do lose him to those for hours at a time, he just so happens to still be in the same room.

 

[holly2234]

Pretty much never. He might go to his moms house or something but thats about it. We spend our free time together. Neither of us are particularly the friendly type so we socialise with other people at work and then come home to each other.

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all to ask for 3 nights a week especially since you could do with a bit of help now!

 

[babyv13]

I don't think you're being unreasonable either, I'd feel neglected in your case!

mine doesn't go out much, I'm always encouraging him to but he works back shift so can't do things in the evening which cancels out a lot of stuff! he goes painting (graffiti ) before work or goes for food/cinema/both with a friend.

 

[missk1989]

My OH goes out once a week. Sometimes twice a week but if he hints at making a third i hint im not happy about it. I never tell him not too just make it clear that all the things that need doing will still be there when he gets home. When he does go out in an evening though he goes out for 6-9 hours which does bug me a bit. He has cut it down recently though.

 

[lovelylaura]

He goes to the gym for about 2 hours a week. I would not be happy if he wasn't home for 8/9 hours a week, no matter what it was drinking or sport.

 

[Banshee]

My husband might go out a couple of times a week - maybe to the cinema with a friend or out for drinks with colleagues, or over to his best friend's. He will also go swimming at the weekends sometimes but that's only for an hour or so. I go out every Tuesday evening and maybe one other evening a week.
I do think it's important to have time for things you enjoy doing separate from your partner but think 4 or 5 times a week is excessive. Especially on one hobby.

 

[weewdy]

My hubby is a cyclist and loves to go out a cycle after his works , weather permitting. He has been away 2 hrs each day since thurs last week because we have had dry weather. I dont mind because he works hard 6 days a week and used this to de stress. If it was raining/windy he wouldnt go out. He is encouraging me to find a hobby to so i can have me time but to be honest i enjoy the peace and quiet when he is out and my dd is in bed. I like my soaps too much to have a hobby lol

 

[Camlet]

My OH barely ever goes out tbh he works a lot so doesn't really get much time to do anything & is normally to tired or can't be bothered. He does see his best friend every now & again & they either go play pool, go to the cinema or go for a meal he occasionally goes to the pub but not much as he hates alcohol & only drinks it socially. I think your OH is the one being unreasonable! It wouldn't hurt him to cut down it's not like your telling him he can't go at all & tbh I can't see why he doesn't want to help you knowing you need it atm xx

 

[supertabby]

If you were asking him to never go out you'd be unreasonable, but to me 3 nights a week is plenty. Lots of women (and men) would think that was too much so personally I think you've asked for a very reasonable compromise. 5 times a week is too much - needing the practice is a poor excuse unless he's a professional tennis player and your income depends on his skill! Sounds like his husband and father skills need a little brush up to me.

Hubby is working silly hours at the moment so hobbies have taken a back burner, but he had been out one night a week all evening doing a hobby and then a couple of times a week he went for a run locally (30-45 mins). That was fine for us. He told them he wouldn't go for a couple of months after baby was born - I was due a section and we have a toddler too. Most of the people in the group are single and didn't really get it but hubby was putting his family first, same as I would do.

 

[Bex84]

mine goes out once or twice a month, occasionally more. He is teacher so doing work in the evenings so doesn't have time to be going out and he tutors Sundays. I would think 3 nights a week is to much but maybe I have been spoiled. My dh appreciates if he wants to go out he doesn't need to worry about child care as I am not out going but he never abuses privilege.

 

[dani_tinks]

My hubby works long hours plus on calls. When he isn't working he likes to be at home! He kickboxes once a week and has sax lessons once every other week.

 

[mummylove]

My oh leaves work at 6.30am and doesnt get back till 5.30/6.30pm he does bowls 3 times a week tuesday thirsday friday so i dont really see him them days. Winter time he does darts twice a week. I feel jealous cus i dont get to just go out and do what i want. I feel im the one always responsible for the kids and not aloud out. Ive ask him to drop a thursday but doesnt listen. Ur oh is being well out of order. He has 2 kids and one on the way so should be spending time with family more and if u are having trouble he should be there. If it was me i would feel like he doesnt want to be with me and doesnt care

 

[jd83]

4-5 times a week when you have 2 kids and one on the way is excessive. It's not fair to the parent at home to always have to do everything while the other is out enjoying endless hobby time all week. Hobbies are a great thing to have, sure, but when you have kids it needs to be a compromise with the amount of time spent on them. BOTH parents should have time for hobbies, which honestly really doesn't sound possible if one parent is gone most of the week on his hobby.

Dh and I both have our own hobbies that we enjoy. My Dh likes to hunt, fish, bowl, etc, but he typically only does his hobby activities 1-2 times a week, and not even every week. Same with me. 1-2 times a week for my hobbies, if that.

 

[lau86]

Not very often to be fair. He tends to have a 'big night' eg to 3/4am every month or so rather than going out every week. He's pretty good like that. I don't mind him going out as long as he's helping with the children. To me 4/5 times a week to go out is a bit much

 

[Yo_Yo]

Thanks for replies everyone.

I genuinely don't mind him having a hobby. I show interest etc...but I think with any relationship there should be a compromise on things like this...or the racquets gonna get it!