mother of two
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i have a significantly older OH and we are having a child together. how old is too old for men.
how old is too old for a man to produce kids
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JackiePed
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I think it depends on the individual man. They certainly don't have NEAR the limit of 'childbearing years' as we do... I've heard of some 70 yr old men fathering children!
mother of two
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as long as it works huh.lol
Men CAN father children in their 70s and older, though whether they should is something else entirely. I find that people are very quick to judge what is "too old" for a woman, but much more lenient when it comes to the fathers. Maybe it's because we see celebrity men fathering children at 60+ that no one really thinks too much of it, or says "well they have a young wife, etc etc"... Like the fathers role is much less important - which IMO it isn't!
But just like the question in women of how old is too old - there will be tons of different opinions. You just need to figure out how old is too old for you and OH! xx
But just like the question in women of how old is too old - there will be tons of different opinions. You just need to figure out how old is too old for you and OH! xx
The same as with women the chances reduce with age.
(sperm numbers/condition deteriorate)
My hubby is 49 I was worried it would reduce our chances (I am 33)
But we concieved ok. Also my sister has a 1 year old and her hubby is 67 years old. So men are usually fertile longer than women.
(sperm numbers/condition deteriorate)
My hubby is 49 I was worried it would reduce our chances (I am 33)
But we concieved ok. Also my sister has a 1 year old and her hubby is 67 years old. So men are usually fertile longer than women.
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I went to jr high which was the sixth grade and this little boy had his father to come for show and tell and his dad at that time was 68 we were all like wow! but i remember telling my mom and she said hey. . if it works! which is the moto i've adopted
livebychance
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my hubby is an obgyn and i asked him, he said men are fertile up until the day they die, even if its super late in life 70,80, 90 + years old
HappiestMom
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I think it depends on how active/healthy they are and depends in how active they want to be in their kids lives..Im 24...25 in December..my hubby just turned 41 in September...we have decided we want 2-3 kids...so after this one will will try for #2 in about 2-3 years and he will be around 43-44 when its born hopefully..and then another 2-3 years till #3 so he'll be 47-48...he wants to not feel so old and want to still do stuff and be active with them..and hopefully having kids will keep him young lol...
booboomagoo
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I'm with Mrs.Jerome. Men may not have the physical fertility limitations that women have, but there are practical ones, and it's different for every guy. I've known some 50 year old men who are more like 80, and some that seem like 30. It's a personal choice.
If you are worried about the physical limitations (I think sperm quality and quantity decline with age), you can talk to a doctor about a semen analysis.
If you are worried about the physical limitations (I think sperm quality and quantity decline with age), you can talk to a doctor about a semen analysis.
hellywelly
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I think that there is a difference between what age is ok to bring up children rather than being the donor so to speak. I really do think it depends on situation - you can get some really young men in their 50's and old men in their 30's. My hubby is 45 and I am 38 so we know that we are not done in yet lol but we have decided only to have 1 for us to give 1 baby full attention and energy - not sure if we would have the energy for 2 xxx
I have read that there may be an increased risk of trisomy with older fathers. It's always assumed to be just the woman's egg that has the problem, but it makes sense that an older man's sperm could have some contribution as well.
ttcnewbie123
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Good question! My only thoughts on the situation is that even though men can make babies until they are very old I do think they need to be around to see their children grow up. Bearing in mind the average life expectancy of a man in the UK is 78 (or so google just told me!) I would say the max age for a man to be having children should be 55-60 x
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Maman
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id say 50 would be the max age i think is ok for a man to have a baby, although 40 is pushing it imo.
Quackquack99
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My grandad was 60 when he had his last child, my uncle is 6 months older than me and it was heart breaking to watch my 15 year old uncle lose his dad. It is something he has not got over and now its been 6 years and he's enduring life without his dad so I'm on the fence
Gnomer
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I had a friend who's father was 60 when she was born. And she hated it. Her dad was always the typical old, grumpy man. He had absolutely no patience with her. I just remember him sitting in his chair all day, shouting about the noise levels, her friends knocking on the door, the tv programs she wanted to watch, EVERYTHING.
If I compare my OH's fathers age, with his mother and my parents, there is also a remarkable difference. FIL is 60, so would have been 38 when OH was born. My parents where 19 and 21 when I was born, and OH's mum 20.
His father is a LOT less understanding. He has become the grumpy, old man. Its not to bad since OH and BIL are 15/22 now, but there IS a difference in parenting.
Personally, I think 60 was too old to have a kid. I felt so unbelievably sorry for my friend. My mum and dad would take me to the park, or swimming, or for walks. She never had any of that.
On the other hand, my OH never missed out because his dad was older. There was obviously a different parenting technique, which is impossible to avoid really, but overall his pops was still able to do thinks with him, things that a kid loves.
It obviously depends on the person though. OH's dad was/is very young. He doesn't look 60, (although he does act it at times
). You need to consider the kiddies when deciding age.
If I compare my OH's fathers age, with his mother and my parents, there is also a remarkable difference. FIL is 60, so would have been 38 when OH was born. My parents where 19 and 21 when I was born, and OH's mum 20.
His father is a LOT less understanding. He has become the grumpy, old man. Its not to bad since OH and BIL are 15/22 now, but there IS a difference in parenting.
Personally, I think 60 was too old to have a kid. I felt so unbelievably sorry for my friend. My mum and dad would take me to the park, or swimming, or for walks. She never had any of that.
On the other hand, my OH never missed out because his dad was older. There was obviously a different parenting technique, which is impossible to avoid really, but overall his pops was still able to do thinks with him, things that a kid loves.
It obviously depends on the person though. OH's dad was/is very young. He doesn't look 60, (although he does act it at times
). You need to consider the kiddies when deciding age.As a teacher, I see a lot of family dynamics, including a lot of men with "second families" when they remarried a much younger woman. I think it varies by individuals: some men become more wise and patient with age, and make a better father at 50 than they did at 20, when they saw their kids as "mini-mes" and were too critical. Other times, old men are grumpy, weak, and impatient--not good traits in a father.
No one has mentioned money, but I think it's a big issue. If a man is 55 and has no savings and is living paycheck to paycheck, then he needs to consider how he is going to support a teenager when he, himself, has to retire--or how his kid will make it if he dies of a heart attack at 65.
On the other hand, if a 55 year old man has already established his career, he may actually have a lot more time and energy to spend with his kids--I know a lot of professionals that worked 50-80 hour weeks in their 20s and 30s, but were able to slow down once they were older. Potentially, they can be much better fathers now than when they were younger. For those sorts of people, there's no risk that their death will leave their child penniless--they will have savings and investments and life insurance.
Obviously, it's not like you only rich people should have kids, but I think it is a real concern for older parents, who are more likely to die when their children are minor. A father's death isn't just an emotional hazard: it's a financial one as well.
No one has mentioned money, but I think it's a big issue. If a man is 55 and has no savings and is living paycheck to paycheck, then he needs to consider how he is going to support a teenager when he, himself, has to retire--or how his kid will make it if he dies of a heart attack at 65.
On the other hand, if a 55 year old man has already established his career, he may actually have a lot more time and energy to spend with his kids--I know a lot of professionals that worked 50-80 hour weeks in their 20s and 30s, but were able to slow down once they were older. Potentially, they can be much better fathers now than when they were younger. For those sorts of people, there's no risk that their death will leave their child penniless--they will have savings and investments and life insurance.
Obviously, it's not like you only rich people should have kids, but I think it is a real concern for older parents, who are more likely to die when their children are minor. A father's death isn't just an emotional hazard: it's a financial one as well.
mummylove
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irish_cob
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My OH is 45, he's fitter and healthier than me at 31. Like someone said above this is his second family, having had a family when he was younger, he's divorced and now with me, and this is my first baby. He is not a grumpy old man, he is very calm and chilled out, he doesn't worry and get tense about things because he's been there and done it before. I feel very safe with him, and I'm happy that he's done it all before because he'll be there to guide me through the first days with a newborn.
What someone said about living payday to payday is true and is a worry. I have a pension but he doesn't, and we don't have any savings. We know it will be tight for a few years as we'll be paying for 100% childcare as we don't qualify for any benefits and we don't have any family to help us with childcare, but I'm hoping after those 3 years, once our child starts to get 15 hours free, and then goes to school, with my boot up both our arses we will clear our (relatively small) credit card balances, pay off the car loan, and then start saving in earnest for my OH's retirement and for our child in the future. I'm not dreadfully concerned because luckily I earn reasonably well, and although I would struggle as a single Mum, I would manage somehow, I'd have to find somewhere smaller to rent, and probably work part time, but I'd make it work somehow. I have a supportive family too which is great, they're just too far away for childcare!
What someone said about living payday to payday is true and is a worry. I have a pension but he doesn't, and we don't have any savings. We know it will be tight for a few years as we'll be paying for 100% childcare as we don't qualify for any benefits and we don't have any family to help us with childcare, but I'm hoping after those 3 years, once our child starts to get 15 hours free, and then goes to school, with my boot up both our arses we will clear our (relatively small) credit card balances, pay off the car loan, and then start saving in earnest for my OH's retirement and for our child in the future. I'm not dreadfully concerned because luckily I earn reasonably well, and although I would struggle as a single Mum, I would manage somehow, I'd have to find somewhere smaller to rent, and probably work part time, but I'd make it work somehow. I have a supportive family too which is great, they're just too far away for childcare!
