How on earth do you get out of the house with a toddler and newborn?!

[Willow82]

So I tried to get to toddler group this morning. Massive fail. I had a bad night with DD (she was awake from 9.30 to 2.30am, then up from 4.30-6am) so OH dealt with DS for a couple of hours before work so I could get some sleep). I got up at 8.30 at which point DD needed feeding and it took ages for her to settle afterwards after which there was not enough time to get ready for toddler group. I tried putting her in the moby wrap but I'm not very confident with it and it got all twisted. She was still screaming her head off at this point and DS was demanding something or other so it all got very stressful. I tried putting her in the buckle carrier but that didn't work either as the straps seemed too tight. At this point toddler group had started and I abandoned the idea of going out. I feel like I'll never be able to get out of the house with two kids! My DS hasn't been out of the house for days (although this is partly due to the miserable weather). Arrggghhh......

 

[Bun87]

With difficulty 😂 BUT it dies get easier, I promise... DS is 2 year and 8.5 months and DD is now 4 months. So still very early days for us but we tend to be able to get out at least once a day. Yes, it's stressful at times and one or the other will be screaming but we get out and it does us all some good. I'm looking forward to the summer and nicer weather as I think winter makes it much more difficult for getting out and about. Have you try a caboo carrier? I don't know how I'd have survived the last 4 months without mine. DD has practically lived in it and it allows me to keep her settled whilst sorting DS out, packing bag for the day etc etc. It will get easier and you will find your own way of getting out without too much fuss 😊 just remember you are doing a brill job xxx

 

[wishingonastar]

Hey hun I feel your pain, with my first two I had 21 months gap and it was tough at first. Here are the things I remember got me through for getting out:
- preparation is the key (get everything ready the day before so that in the morning (or afternoon) you have outfits ready, snacks in bag/fridge to grab, drinks for toddler and change bag is lacked
- have the above stuff together in one place so you're not hunting around
- practise with your LO in carrier when you're home, don't learn it when you're heading out door as stress would be unreal
- realise that getting to play group us a triumph whether it's on time of 40 mins late (yes I have turned up this late several times in early days). Your mission is to just get there at the mo, timing not overly an issue

 

[weedle]

My age gap is similar. I just find being organised the best. I have the bag packed and I just add bottles before I leave. Outfits laid out each morning. Can your eldest dress himself? I normally dress baby While he gets dressed and then dress myself while he eats breakfast. It's difficult at first but you soon get the hang of it. I have to be out the house by 8.30 each morning to get my eldest to preschool then me and baby normally go out and about straight after x

 

[sil]

Practice is perfect really. And developing the best routine you can.

I get breakfast utensils all set out the night before and always do easy options for DS1 (oatmeal, yogurt and fruit, etc).

While DS1 (2 1/2 years old) eats his breakfast, I feed DS2 (now 5 1/2 months old).

I lay DS2 down on his playmat and clean up DS1 and get him dressed (all clothes set out the night before). I then get DS2 out some books or puzzles and get DS1 dressed and give him one last feed. I pop him in the car seat, and out the door we go.

I always try to get out at least once a day from the time DS1 was 2 weeks old just for my sanity. I hate being stuck in.

I always try to be prepared for meltdowns with DS1 by bringing some teethers, food, etc. I bring both my wrap (I use a tula) and my stroller (I have the kind the car seat clicks right in to) so if he's asleep I stroller him and he won't wake up and if he's awake I wear him so he's close to me and happier.

I know it's tough now, but I promise it'll get easier with time and practice. Your little one will start to sleep longer and better, you'll get more rest, and the more you practice the better you'll get at juggling the demands of two.

Hang in there mama, you're doing great for even trying!! I know the first few times is so hard and scary so way to go!

 

[pachamama92]

I'm going to repeat what everyone else has said, organization is the key. Whatever works for you! Also, I always go out at the same time. dS 2 has got used to going out so now he sleeps while I'm out which makes the whole thing much easier. Also I find taking the minimum helps so when I'm walking back and dS wants carried then I don't have too many things to carry. The only things I take are a small pack of wipes, one nappy, one change of clothes and a snack and small bottle of water for ds1. I also leave my bag at home and keep phone and card in pockets and house key in changing bag.

 

[icklemonster]

It does get easier! I barely left the house for the first few weeks, especially as DS had such problems latching and I was terrified DD would need my attention while I was trying to feed. Now we have a real routine going.

I know I need to wake up exactly 2 hours before we need to leave the house, which allows for me to get ready and DS to BF for 45 mins during that time. I recommend getting your OH to do more! DH now gets DDs breakfast and gets her dressed and ready (I've learnt I have to select the outfits the night before or she'll be in her best summer dress with yellow leggings ).

I agree about preparation, my bag is always fully packed the night before. I've also realised with 2 it is easier to have the changing bag, plus a small additional handbag to wear across your chest with wallet, phone etc in, as with 2 you have so many things stuffed in, it's a nightmare trying to dig out the money for a group or make a call.

I'm yet to use my sling, but DS is a happy chappy and far from clingy so he's quite happy kicking away in his car seat when we're out if he's not on my boob! I keep meaning to practice with it though, as sure there will be a need for it at some point! xx

 

[Eleanor ace]

Oh man I had my fair share of those days when I had my 2nd. It gets easier! It is really hard to get out when you have a newborn screaming and everything you do seems t make them more upset, it's like a horrible version of The Crystal Maze (I'm showing my age ). But as the baby gets a big bigger it gets easier to relax a bit, mentally say "right, I know the baby is OK, they're just a bit fed up but we'll be on our way soon and getting out will be best for all of us".

 

[mummytobe_93]

So I tried to get to toddler group this morning. Massive fail. I had a bad night with DD (she was awake from 9.30 to 2.30am, then up from 4.30-6am) so OH dealt with DS for a couple of hours before work so I could get some sleep). I got up at 8.30 at which point DD needed feeding and it took ages for her to settle afterwards after which there was not enough time to get ready for toddler group. I tried putting her in the moby wrap but I'm not very confident with it and it got all twisted. She was still screaming her head off at this point and DS was demanding something or other so it all got very stressful. I tried putting her in the buckle carrier but that didn't work either as the straps seemed too tight. At this point toddler group had started and I abandoned the idea of going out. I feel like I'll never be able to get out of the house with two kids! My DS hasn't been out of the house for days (although this is partly due to the miserable weather). Arrggghhh......

It gets so much easier and I honestly don't find it any more difficult getting out with 2 now compared to 2. Ds is 5 months old tomorrow and my daughter has just turned 2. Get changing bag ready night before, get clothes and nappies out the night before. As soon as you get up feed the baby. Change both of their nappies straight away. Get your oldest down give them breakfast, whilst they're eating breakfast feed baby/ get them ready etc. and then sort toddler out get dressed etc. then I tend to run around like mad sorting washing out etc before running out of the house. Put baby in car seat, shoes on bag on- out the door! Sometimes I have to leave the baby crying in the car seat for s minute but that's the sacrifice you have to pay when you have 2 kids they're not always both happy at any one time

Also I always make sure I get dressed before they are both up. If they are both away I still get dressed before tending to both of them other wise I will find no time to get dressed and sorted ever again in the day! X

 

[HoneyBee144]

I think everyone else had said everything I would have. I definitely think the best approach is to be mindful that at some point both the baby and your toddler will cry, and I they do then that's ok. By the time we're ready in the morning my DS1 is hyped up ready and DS2 is tired an cranky so there's meltdowns but I just keep going, the sooner I get done what I need to the sooner we get out and the calm down. Maybe try just going out for a walk or to the park, where there's no time restrictions so you can just go when you feel able?

 

[Shandelion]

Lol, leave the house! Hahaha! My son is almost two and I still can't. He insists on being carried or running into traffic, and I get migraines when I carry him too often. He goes insane when he's put in a car seat. To keep the car while my husband works I need to get up by 6:45 a.m., and we haven't gotten to sleep until 10:30 the night before. Then I have to shove him back in the car seat when we go get my husband. Yeah...we never get to leave the house.

I've been trying to start a play date at my house, because I've made an indoor playground and have a big fenced yard. No takers...

 

[Willow82]

Thanks all. I'm sure we'll manage it one day. That's a good idea about trying to get out of the house without a time restriction, I think I'll aim for the playground or library before toddler group. I thought about it today but it's really difficult at the moment as I try to get to bed around 8pm as my DD is often unsettled until 3am. This limits my time for preparing things for the next day! Also, I'm trying to catch up on sleep in the morning before my OH goes to work. I also want to avoid feeding DD whilst out with my toddler around. Due to combi feeding and my DD taking an age to have a bottle and being very unsettled afterwards, sometimes it takes about 2 and a half hours per feed (she has silent reflux) and I don't think I can occupy my toddler for that long whilst out.

On a positive note, I did get her to nap in the moby wrap today

 

[george83]

I know it's not the most appealing with bad weather but I'd just aim to get out so that you get used to it and get more confident at going out. I'm sure your oldest would love jumping in the puddles near your house even if that's as much as you get to do

 

[Indi84]

With difficulty! I have to take and pick up ds1 from pre school three days a week though so I have no choice, have to get out!
Often get ds1 dressed one handed while feeding the baby, and poor little guy sometimes eats brekkie in the kitchen alone while I carry the baby/change nappies etc. That makes me sad as we have eaten together for the last three years!
We walk to school but luckily it's only ten mins max toddler speed!

 

[jodilee6]

With practice and a lot of preparation!

It also gets easier as the baby gets older (honest!)

This morning we didn't wake up until 8am, I had DS1 at preschool for 8:30am and at a coffee morning with DS2 for 8:55 (5 minutes early!)

I make sure my nappy bag is always ready to go so I just have to grab it, DS2 has left the house in his pjs more times than I can count and has been dressed at various groups/soft plays/ libraries along the way

DS1 has also had to eat breakfast in the car if we're running really late

Just keep trying and you'll get there, I start with non time pressured activities and go from there

 

[londonangel]

I never used to take mine to things at specific times really. I just took them out for walks and things as I would have gone barmy in the house all day. I was to be found pacing round Epping Forest last February with a three week old in a carrier and a three and eight months year old! I found getting the stuff like changing bag ready and leaving it in the car helped so all I had to do was grab the kids. I also do bizarrely well on very little sleep so was out and about every day despite exclusively breastfeeding and being up half the night at first. Our little one slept through by two months old though - phew! To be honest the thought of a toddler group fills me with dread anyway. Never took either of mine as went back to work when E was 11 months and next month I go back again (full-time). Good luck!

 

[londonangel]

Oh and often I went out over lunchtime and distracted big one with lunch out and then stories or colouring while I fed little one (who would feed for an hour!).

 

[cupcaker]

Evening organisation/prior organisation, I agree. Bags, food etc whatever can be prepped in advance.

I was back at work by the time my DD was 4 months(ish) and at that point, my son was nearly 2 (18 month gap).

I had to get them to two seperate places on a morning, dressed, fed, with everything they needed (plus pack lunch etc), 4 days a week, and walk into work around 8am after that. And I know people who do even "worse" than that, for example having to commute nearly an hour to work etc whereas at least I have my family/childcare and workplace in the same town.

I couldn't survive without the prior prep. My children are now 15 months and a couple of months off being 3, and I still feel I need to put clothes out, prep bags, make pack lunches etc on an evening as it's WORSE than having a toddler and newborn. They are both mobile, run about, don't want to get dressed, mess about, spill things...mornings are hectic. I don't eat on a morning and I sit with a tiny handheld mirror on the livingroom sofa trying to put makeup on whilst being climbed on.

Then I roll into work and teach a shitload of 4 and 5 year olds all day. Give me strength!

 

[Babybump87]

I am in the same boat as you.

We have managed to go to playgroups this week just about lol. I agree with others about getting everything ready the night before. Im not a organised person at all so this really helps. Thankfully I've not had to be anywhere important for a certain time... yet!

Hope you mange to get out and about soon!. X

 

[Willow82]

We made it to two toddler groups this week! I agree, advance preparation really is the key. I've also abandoned the moby wrap for a beco Gemini carrier which I feel much more confident using out and about. I felt so much better for getting out of the house!