How open are you about your infertility?

[Christi85]

Hi all,

I was wondering what everyone's amount of openness is with regards to their fertility struggles. I do realize it's different from person to person. I'm also posting a poll to make it a little more interesting, but feel free to post comments too.

-Those of you who are very open: do you ever regret being this open? Has everyone you've told been supportive, or have you had to deal with many stupid comments? Also, how have you approached the subject with those who you've told? Do you tell them first, or do you tell them straight away if they ask? And any other comment you may feel is relevant.

-Those of you who are semi open (as in, only told close family/close friends): have you received good support from your loved ones? Are you planning on coming out more if your struggles continue? How do you deal with hints about having children from those who don't know? And any other comment you may feel is relevant.

-Those of you who are very private (as in, not telling anyone): what has made you take this approach? Do you plan on coming out to close family/friends later, if your struggles continue? How do you deal with intrusive questions about having children? Again, feel free to post other comments too.

I'm going to start: hubby and I are in the semi open category right now. We've only told close family (my parents, hubby's Mom - his parents are divorced and we're not as close to his Dad, and hubby's sister), and I've also told a few girl-friends who I'm close with. We only told my mother and sister in law on Easter weekend, so it's still very fresh with them. My mother in law has been extremely supportive ever since, which makes me happy (as she had previously made some dumb comments about adoption, which is one thing we may consider in the future, but that was before she knew of our predicament). Hubby's sister is not in the child making phase yet, so she showed some compassion, but I doubt she is able to realize how infertility feels for us at this point. I bet she thinks we're exaggerating. Everyone else we've told has had different reactions depending on what phase of their life they're in: by far the most compassionate were my Mom and mother in law, as well as my friends who are mothers themselves or those who had also struggled in the past (but now have children). On the other end of the spectrum, those friends who aren't married and/or aren't even thinking about kids were the most likely ones to give comments like 'relax, your stress isn't letting this happen' or 'what's the rush to have kids anyway' etc. and I'm even suspecting that one or two are silently avoiding the subject after I've come out to them. I suspect it holds no interest to them and they can't relate at all, so it may be making them awkward. So the types of reactions we've had have varied greatly.

Do we plan on coming out more if we continue to struggle? We'll probably have to, although at this point I still hope that it may not take us THAT much longer to achieve that pregnancy, so maybe we can avoid that. But the longer it takes, the more people are going to start asking, and that's something I'm dreading. As a matter of fact, this was the deciding factor for telling my MIL now, as she happens to have two family friends who are expecting their first grand children at this point - I didn't want her to start dropping hints to us.

Are we getting questions from those who don't know? Sometimes, but luckily, not as much as I was fearing, yet. I think one reason is that we're still renting, so somehow people may not be thinking that we're trying yet. But we are looking to buy in the coming months, so that could prompt people to start asking more: as in, late20s/early 30s, married for a while, just bought a home - could the next step be cooking a baby? I'm afraid they'll start expecting that, and if it's still not coming for a while, they may get more pushy with questions and hints

I'd love to hear other ladies' approaches on this subject, your amount of openness and how it has changed over time (if it has changed), as well as your experiences.

 

[Myshelsong]

Hi just want I say that hubs and I are very open. We started only telling a few and have grew too tell everyone that asks. Especially since we were open about trying right away after getting married before we were married.
There are the odd comment like, you could always adopt or it will happen in time, or just relax and we just go with it and say we are looking into adoption as well as having our own. With the relax comment I laugh out loud at them and say "no, that is not the issue. I was relaxed the first two years it was the last year with the test is when I started stressing so thanks but no thanks" and they generally shut up about it after that. But mostly people are respectful and give us space, for those that want details they can ask but that doesn't mean I will tell them everything.

Honestly it works for us. I would rather people know then to say inappropriate things at lunches and dinners by accident that would hurt my feelings because they just don't know. We no longer get the tick tock the clock is ticking comments, no more so when are you guys planning on having babies, no more of the other hurtful things like you are lucky you don't have kids yet because .....

Good luck

 

[emz1200]

Hiya,
Well i have always been open with my Mum about what is going on & of course she has told my Dad. We did tell hubbys parents but only after we had started going for all the tests. His Mum has come out with 'well you could always adopt' which I did get very upset over but she does seem to be a lot better now after we started on the IVF, so i will just have to wait & see.
The rest of my family on my Mums side as they live quite close have only been told recently as they were starting to ask question.
Since we had to keep going to appoinments at the hospital I did have to tell work what was going on but thankfully I work in a small office of 7 people & we are all quite close so they all know but in some ways i wish i hadn't said anything sometimes just because of the questions.
I know its different for everyone but if people ask the 'when are you having kids' i just say 'when the doctors figure out why i can't' that seems to stop them in their tracks.

 

[CareBear]

I've put very open as I talk about it at work and my parents and sibling know but at the same time none of my extended family know. This is because I don't see them very often and they don't ask but if they did I would tell them. I think people need to be more aware of the possibility of infertility and by being open about it means more people become aware.

 

[Christi85]

Thank you all for your responses. I've found it particularly frustrating how clueless people who haven't gone through this can be. We know all about supporting people in illness, yet infertility is not seen as such a big deal by many - you can't die of infertility, right?
My MIL has been very compassionate and supportive as I said, and has even offered financial support, however she too made quite a few dumb comments. Such as, how frustrating it was for her to be getting her period every month when they were trying to conceive my husband's sister, which took them over 6 months (apparently my husband was conceived much quicker ), and that she tried to find articles talking about 'trouble getting pregnant'. Oh, and how her own sister in law was having big trouble conceiving her second (actually that is true - it took them 5 years), but she couldn't relax to save her life. As if to say, her problem was not relaxing These remarks certainly didn't help me one bit. If anything, I felt like my pain was not properly understood
Especially when I'm beyond 'trouble getting pregnant' as I have multiple known fertility issues that may even mean I cannot conceive without donor eggs (and even then, there's no guarantees). Plus a lap in a few weeks that may confirm endometriosis, which would only make things even harder for me and hubby

Carebear - I do agree with you that people need to become more aware of infertility. You are right, maybe I should start being more open about it.

 

[Trishg21]

We are very open. Especially since we made the decision to adopt. Rather than letting people make their own assumes we "came out" on Facebook stating exactly why were adopting. I wasn't exactly quiet about it before but I never made huge announcements about it either.

 

[Christi85]

We are very open. Especially since we made the decision to adopt. Rather than letting people make their own assumes we "came out" on Facebook stating exactly why were adopting. I wasn't exactly quiet about it before but I never made huge announcements about it either.

Congratulations on your adoption!
Must feel awesome to finally be a Mom after so much pain.
I took a look at your blog - wow, looks like your adoption was super quick as far as adoptions go, in direct contrast with your IF journey which looks like it was a never ending nightmare
I may have to ask you for recommendations on adoption agencies and your experiences with them if we decide to go down the adoption route later on.
Yes, I think I'll definitely do that too (i.e. come out on FB) if we decide on adoption later. I'm thinking I may even do the same if I get pregnant through fertility treatments (i.e. mention how I got pregnant and that it wasn't easy for us), just to raise awareness on infertility. We shall see - when and if that time comes. As of now, I'm keeping a very low profile on FB with regards to our struggles. I pretty much haven't mentioned or hinted a thing. Not even that we were been trying for a baby, before we got into the IF journey.

 

[Jrepp]

Hi all,

I was wondering what everyone's amount of openness is with regards to their fertility struggles. I do realize it's different from person to person. I'm also posting a poll to make it a little more interesting, but feel free to post comments too.

-Those of you who are very open: do you ever regret being this open? Has everyone you've told been supportive, or have you had to deal with many stupid comments? Also, how have you approached the subject with those who you've told? Do you tell them first, or do you tell them straight away if they ask? And any other comment you may feel is

What a great question! I am very open about our fertility issues while my husband ers on the side of very private. He is private by nature though. When my hubby and I got married, one of the first questions we got was when we were going to have a baby (as if you can magically put a date on it). We had our first miscarriage in August, during our second cycle trying. At this point I didn't tell anyone but my family what was going on. Our second miscarriage came 2 months later in October. This one was a bit more public. I had just got up the courage/ convinced hubby to tell his side or the family and miscarried a few days later. I "came out" in December on Facebook. I miscarried again in January. 2 weeks ago I underwent a laparoscopy/hysteroscopy/chromotubation where the RE removed tissue from around my ovary and abdomen (although they said no endometriosis), a polyp from somewhere, and a large septum taking up 90% of my uterus.

I've had mixed reactions on Facebook. It seems as if no one on my friends list has suffered a loss, but those with children seem to be much less supportive than those without. After I miscarried in January I started a blog -link in signature- which has been not only incredibly therapeutic, but I have found people going through similar experiences and gotten a lot of support that way. I thankfully have a very supportive husband and family that I can go to.

 

[Christi85]

What a great question! I am very open about our fertility issues while my husband ers on the side of very private. He is private by nature though. When my hubby and I got married, one of the first questions we got was when we were going to have a baby (as if you can magically put a date on it). We had our first miscarriage in August, during our second cycle trying. At this point I didn't tell anyone but my family what was going on. Our second miscarriage came 2 months later in October. This one was a bit more public. I had just got up the courage/ convinced hubby to tell his side or the family and miscarried a few days later. I "came out" in December on Facebook. I miscarried again in January. 2 weeks ago I underwent a laparoscopy/hysteroscopy/chromotubation where the RE removed tissue from around my ovary and abdomen (although they said no endometriosis), a polyp from somewhere, and a large septum taking up 90% of my uterus.

I've had mixed reactions on Facebook. It seems as if no one on my friends list has suffered a loss, but those with children seem to be much less supportive than those without. After I miscarried in January I started a blog -link in signature- which has been not only incredibly therapeutic, but I have found people going through similar experiences and gotten a lot of support that way. I thankfully have a very supportive husband and family that I can go to.

I'm so sorry for your losses! I can't imagine what you've been through. I've never been pregnant, not one BFP, ever. Although this definitely sucks, I keep saying that the only thing that sucks even more than not getting pregnant is getting pregnant only to miscarry. I'm sincerely very sorry and hope you get a sticky little baby in there soon. Very interesting how your non-parent friends have been more supportive than those with children. With mine it was the exact opposite. Those with children and/or those with children who previously struggled with infertility have been the most understanding. My childless friends (by choice or simply because they haven't found their other half yet) don't seem to 'get it'. They may say a few kind words, but the overall attitude is 'what's the rush to have children' or even worse 'why do you want children anyway - the world is already overpopulated' Or our all time favorite 'just relax and it will come'

 

[Jrepp]

What a great question! I am very open about our fertility issues while my husband ers on the side of very private. He is private by nature though. When my hubby and I got married, one of the first questions we got was when we were going to have a baby (as if you can magically put a date on it). We had our first miscarriage in August, during our second cycle trying. At this point I didn't tell anyone but my family what was going on. Our second miscarriage came 2 months later in October. This one was a bit more public. I had just got up the courage/ convinced hubby to tell his side or the family and miscarried a few days later. I "came out" in December on Facebook. I miscarried again in January. 2 weeks ago I underwent a laparoscopy/hysteroscopy/chromotubation where the RE removed tissue from around my ovary and abdomen (although they said no endometriosis), a polyp from somewhere, and a large septum taking up 90% of my uterus.

I've had mixed reactions on Facebook. It seems as if no one on my friends list has suffered a loss, but those with children seem to be much less supportive than those without. After I miscarried in January I started a blog -link in signature- which has been not only incredibly therapeutic, but I have found people going through similar experiences and gotten a lot of support that way. I thankfully have a very supportive husband and family that I can go to.

I'm so sorry for your losses! I can't imagine what you've been through. I've never been pregnant, not one BFP, ever. Although this definitely sucks, I keep saying that the only thing that sucks even more than not getting pregnant is getting pregnant only to miscarry. I'm sincerely very sorry and hope you get a sticky little baby in there soon. Very interesting how your non-parent friends have been more supportive than those with children. With mine it was the exact opposite. Those with children and/or those with children who previously struggled with infertility have been the most understanding. My childless friends (by choice or simply because they haven't found their other half yet) don't seem to 'get it'. They may say a few kind words, but the overall attitude is 'what's the rush to have children' or even worse 'why do you want children anyway - the world is already overpopulated' Or our all time favorite 'just relax and it will come'

Thank you so much! I has certainly been a very difficult year for us in the fertility department, but we remain hopeful that once I am all healed up we will have no troubles getting a baby to stick. There are definitely times when I wish I had never seen a bfp, but then think that had I not lost the first 2 I probably wouldn't have been referred to the RE as quickly as I was. That might be a stretch, because I have an amazing doctor who would have sent me anyways due to chronic pelvic pain.

I know what you mean about pregnant vs. non pregnant friends. It actually surprises me that so many of my parent friends don't seem to understand the heartbreak of losing a child (probably because they have them) whereas my non parent friends are so supportive and caring throughout this process. It's weird, because from the first pregnancy to now 63 of my Facebook friends have announced their pregnancies and are starting to deliver.

I finally felt vindicated when the doctor said I never would have carried past the first trimester with the septum in my uterus. It was so relieving to tell people that if we hadn't been trying we never would have found a problem.

Good luck on your journey through the fertility world!

 

[Christi85]

Thank you so much! I has certainly been a very difficult year for us in the fertility department, but we remain hopeful that once I am all healed up we will have no troubles getting a baby to stick. There are definitely times when I wish I had never seen a bfp, but then think that had I not lost the first 2 I probably wouldn't have been referred to the RE as quickly as I was. That might be a stretch, because I have an amazing doctor who would have sent me anyways due to chronic pelvic pain.

I know what you mean about pregnant vs. non pregnant friends. It actually surprises me that so many of my parent friends don't seem to understand the heartbreak of losing a child (probably because they have them) whereas my non parent friends are so supportive and caring throughout this process. It's weird, because from the first pregnancy to now 63 of my Facebook friends have announced their pregnancies and are starting to deliver.

I finally felt vindicated when the doctor said I never would have carried past the first trimester with the septum in my uterus. It was so relieving to tell people that if we hadn't been trying we never would have found a problem.

Good luck on your journey through the fertility world!

Thank you!
Wow, 63 FB announcements? I'm actually thinking I haven't had that many on FB since we started trying - maybe 5 or 6, and one is a surrogate, so not too bad. But I'm a member of another forum which is more of a Mommies forum nowdays - it started out as a wedding planning forum, then many of us got to be friends in real life and created a private forum, and now the vast majority are Moms. So in that forum there were more than 20 announcements between August and November last year, the vast majority for child #2. It was as if there was an epidemic of pregnancies, and there's now a new wave of about 5-6 of them who got pregnant to #2 all at the same time again. So yes, that was a bit hard to stomach, but there's still a few other LTTTC #1 ladies in that forum who have been trying for way longer than I have been (some for 4-5 years now, unsuccessfully). They're all so gracious about other people's pregnancies, but I often wonder how they can do it. And then I feel bad for having jealousy feelings sometimes, although I do feel genuinely happy too for those pregnant ladies. I do have to admit though, when an infertile lady I know gets pregnant after a lot of effort, I feel very happy for her and full of hope for myself. I have no feelings of envy, as I know what she's been through. It's more the ones that seem to snap their fingers and get pregnant that irritate me

Best of luck to you too - I think that since you've resolved your health issues now and it seems like you have no trouble falling pregnant, you can be very optimistic that you can get your sticky bean really really soon

 

[Jrepp]

Thank you so much! I has certainly been a very difficult year for us in the fertility department, but we remain hopeful that once I am all healed up we will have no troubles getting a baby to stick. There are definitely times when I wish I had never seen a bfp, but then think that had I not lost the first 2 I probably wouldn't have been referred to the RE as quickly as I was. That might be a stretch, because I have an amazing doctor who would have sent me anyways due to chronic pelvic pain.

I know what you mean about pregnant vs. non pregnant friends. It actually surprises me that so many of my parent friends don't seem to understand the heartbreak of losing a child (probably because they have them) whereas my non parent friends are so supportive and caring throughout this process. It's weird, because from the first pregnancy to now 63 of my Facebook friends have announced their pregnancies and are starting to deliver.

I finally felt vindicated when the doctor said I never would have carried past the first trimester with the septum in my uterus. It was so relieving to tell people that if we hadn't been trying we never would have found a problem.

Good luck on your journey through the fertility world!

Thank you!
Wow, 63 FB announcements? I'm actually thinking I haven't had that many on FB since we started trying - maybe 5 or 6, and one is a surrogate, so not too bad. But I'm a member of another forum which is more of a Mommies forum nowdays - it started out as a wedding planning forum, then many of us got to be friends in real life and created a private forum, and now the vast majority are Moms. So in that forum there were more than 20 announcements between August and November last year, the vast majority for child #2. It was as if there was an epidemic of pregnancies, and there's now a new wave of about 5-6 of them who got pregnant to #2 all at the same time again. So yes, that was a bit hard to stomach, but there's still a few other LTTTC #1 ladies in that forum who have been trying for way longer than I have been (some for 4-5 years now, unsuccessfully). They're all so gracious about other people's pregnancies, but I often wonder how they can do it. And then I feel bad for having jealousy feelings sometimes, although I do feel genuinely happy too for those pregnant ladies. I do have to admit though, when an infertile lady I know gets pregnant after a lot of effort, I feel very happy for her and full of hope for myself. I have no feelings of envy, as I know what she's been through. It's more the ones that seem to snap their fingers and get pregnant that irritate me

Best of luck to you too - I think that since you've resolved your health issues now and it seems like you have no trouble falling pregnant, you can be very optimistic that you can get your sticky bean really really soon

I agree about the people that fall pregnant so easily. As rude as it seems, I almost snapped at a lady the other day that was complaining that it took her 2 months to get pregnant. In my head I was like "you have got to be kidding me" 2 months is not a long time lady!! Technically I don't know if I even fit into ltttc because I have been pregnant a few times, whereas so many haven't even gotten to that point yet, but it will be well over a year when we can start trying again. Oh well.

Are you doing any type of fertility treatments?

 

[Christi85]

I agree about the people that fall pregnant so easily. As rude as it seems, I almost snapped at a lady the other day that was complaining that it took her 2 months to get pregnant. In my head I was like "you have got to be kidding me" 2 months is not a long time lady!! Technically I don't know if I even fit into ltttc because I have been pregnant a few times, whereas so many haven't even gotten to that point yet, but it will be well over a year when we can start trying again. Oh well.

Are you doing any type of fertility treatments?

Yeah, it drives you crazy when you hear things like that. Well, infertility is the inability to have a baby of your own, either due to an inability to become pregnant in the first place or due to getting pregnant but suffering recurrent losses. In either case, you are having trouble getting to the end goal. Like I said, I do hope you will be fine from now on, fingers crossed for you!!

As for me, no fertility treatments as of yet, although I have been seeing an RE for the past 2 months. My diagnosis is in my signature. I have an ovarian cyst which could be an endometrioma, so I'm having a laparoscopy in late May to find out/remove it, and also check for any endometriosis elsewhere. Thereafter, I may either do IUI or IVF or both (partly depending on the lap findings), and right now, everything is on the table and being seriously considered. Including donor eggs if my own eggs prove to be insufficient in quality, or adoption further down the road. My path to parenthood has had some unexpected twists and turns as well as many bumps, but I'm hoping for a happy ending, preferably sooner rather than later! Like all of us!

 

[YearningHeart]

Hi Ladies,

I am quite about my infertility journey/IVF treatments and thats because I dont feel I have someone who I can trust well and who would understand. I do speak to my mum, no love can compare to a mothers love. She is very supportive but I dont tell her everything because the poor thing then stresses out. lol

I have thought about telling 1 or 2 friends and every time I think 'Ok today I will slowly bring the topic and then mention some things of my treatment' Something or the other comes up and then I change my mind and dont say it. I would rather regret not telling someone then to regret telling someone. Words can not be taken back but you can always talk about the past if that makes sense.

- Sometimes I did feel so down, upset, lonely and wanted to speak to someone but my husband and this forum has been a great help. Im alright now. x

 

[Christi85]

Hi Ladies,

I am quite about my infertility journey/IVF treatments and thats because I dont feel I have someone who I can trust well and who would understand. I do speak to my mum, no love can compare to a mothers love. She is very supportive but I dont tell her everything because the poor thing then stresses out. lol

I have thought about telling 1 or 2 friends and every time I think 'Ok today I will slowly bring the topic and then mention some things of my treatment' Something or the other comes up and then I change my mind and dont say it. I would rather regret not telling someone then to regret telling someone. Words can not be taken back but you can always talk about the past if that makes sense.

- Sometimes I did feel so down, upset, lonely and wanted to speak to someone but my husband and this forum has been a great help. Im alright now. x

Sorry you're feeling this way. Yes, my mother is the same - she gets too upset and stressed. I don't see why it would be bad to tell a couple of friends, unless you don't feel you can trust them much or that they might be mean to you. Since you're so private though, do you get any questions from people? Like, when are you finally having kids and such? And how do you handle them?

I know exactly how you feel. And I agree about this forum. I'm still a new member, but it feels wonderful to be here, among ladies who know exactly how I feel, not having to explain anything etc. Even some of my previously infertile friends (now mothers) sometimes make insensitive comments, like 'you need to relax', 'thinking positive will make a difference', 'don't over-analyze things so much', 'don't plan so hard' etc. etc. Coming from people who've been there, it frustrates me even more, although I know for a fact that they are genuinely thinking they are being helpful. I've never found such an exact reflection of my thoughts and feelings anywhere else. So I truly appreciate being here

 

[YearningHeart]

Christi - I have been TTC for 6 years now. At first people did ask and I kept saying whenever its meant to be it will be (At first I had no idea I would have fertility issues) Anyhow as time went pass, people realised I wanted children as they saw me with kids and I would say in passing that I cant wait to have kids of my own. So I think most know I am TTC and I respect them for respecting me. There are obviously the odd ones that do ask and sometimes I just dont care and ignore and other times I just say 'Whenever it is meant to be, it will be' (There isnt much you can reply if you know what I mean)

- The problem with my 2 good friends, 1 is not married and isnt so bothered about marriage/baby talk so shes out the picture and my other friend is actually having an abortion after 2 days! She has few health issues so resulted in abortion. (She doesn't want the baby anyway)

So I guess I am still on the search for a buddy who I can share my IVF story with. lol to be honest one of the problem is because this has been such a secret from all, if anyone finds out they will blurt it out. I do find this forum helps me a lot. Even though I dont know anyone on this forum but everyone is so nice and so understanding.

Ohhhh I soo agree with you! I absolutly hate it when people i.e those fertile ones say 'You need to stress less and it will happen' or anything like that. Its so annoying. Some of my friends give me advice which go through one ear and out the other. They will never understand because they have never been infertile.

xx

 

[Christi85]

Christi - I have been TTC for 6 years now. At first people did ask and I kept saying whenever its meant to be it will be (At first I had no idea I would have fertility issues) Anyhow as time went pass, people realised I wanted children as they saw me with kids and I would say in passing that I cant wait to have kids of my own. So I think most know I am TTC and I respect them for respecting me. There are obviously the odd ones that do ask and sometimes I just dont care and ignore and other times I just say 'Whenever it is meant to be, it will be' (There isnt much you can reply if you know what I mean)

- The problem with my 2 good friends, 1 is not married and isnt so bothered about marriage/baby talk so shes out the picture and my other friend is actually having an abortion after 2 days! She has few health issues so resulted in abortion. (She doesn't want the baby anyway)

So I guess I am still on the search for a buddy who I can share my IVF story with. lol to be honest one of the problem is because this has been such a secret from all, if anyone finds out they will blurt it out. I do find this forum helps me a lot. Even though I dont know anyone on this forum but everyone is so nice and so understanding.

Ohhhh I soo agree with you! I absolutly hate it when people i.e those fertile ones say 'You need to stress less and it will happen' or anything like that. Its so annoying. Some of my friends give me advice which go through one ear and out the other. They will never understand because they have never been infertile.

xx

I see. Yes, I've had the exact same thing with non married friends (they just don't get it or couldn't care less and are just being nice). I've also had the abortion case with a friend of mine - though at the time I wasn't TTCing yet, but I still found it very sad. I tried to talk to her about other options, but she just didn't want to face an unwanted pregnancy etc. She didn't want her family to find out or the father of the baby for that matter (who she broke up with soon afterwards), so she just went ahead and had an abortion at 6 weeks. It was a sad time, but at the end of the day, we all make our choices.

And yes, this forum is such a gem, I agree with you!!

 

[YearningHeart]

Yeah my friend is having the abortion at 6 weeks too. I guess its true everyone have their reasons, its just hard for us I guess because we would do anything for a baby. Anyways no more abortion talk, I got my self too stressed and upset yesterday. lol

How are you doing? Are you going through any treatments dont mind me asking?

 

[Christi85]

Yeah my friend is having the abortion at 6 weeks too. I guess its true everyone have their reasons, its just hard for us I guess because we would do anything for a baby. Anyways no more abortion talk, I got my self too stressed and upset yesterday. lol

How are you doing? Are you going through any treatments dont mind me asking?

I'm doing ok, thank you for asking . I haven't done any treatments yet. For the time being, I'm waiting to have my laparoscopy in late May to remove an ovarian cyst, which could be endometrioma, and also to check for further endometriosis (never been diagnosed). Thereafter, we should have a clearer idea on how to proceed with treatment. I'd rather we fixed my proegsterone issue and kept trying on our own for a while, but my low AMH may force me to make decisions earlier, in the sense that I'm running out of available eggs faster than average. Also, if I am found to have endo, it may not even be likely that we can conceive on our own, even if we do fix my progesterone levels (all other hormones seem to be very normal, including my FSH). So now I'm just waiting for the full picture. Like I've said, all options are still on the table for us right now.

How are you doing? I think you mentioned doing IVF before. Are you still doing treatments? Do you know what's causing you trouble conceiving or are you unexplained - if you don't mind answering?

 

[YearningHeart]

Oh thats good to hear that something is happening. Its so amazing how many different factors can effect fertility. I hope everything goes well for you and your dreams come true.

This is my 2nd IVF. I have PCOS and one tube blocked. I hardly have periods so therefore hardly ever ovulate and when I do I am not aware of it, sometimes months would pass without a bleed. Looking into all of this the doc said I should have IVF.
x