How to approach a break up?

[baby9]

I'll try to keep this short.
For the last week I've been in tears nearly every sungle day. I've been questioning whether or not I can raise my child myself etc. I've been considering adoption.

Why? Basically because of FOB. He's useless, hangs round with druggies and puts me down all of the time. Makes me feel like i'll be all on my own and that i'll be a rubbish mum. He'd told me he'll only be a part time dad in the sense thst he'll see his son for a few hour a week/fortnight but has no intention of actually helping to raise him. Not good enough. It was hid decision to keep baby whicj i can now see he regrets.

Last weekend in Asda (large supermarket in UK) I was having a look at sone baby hats and he just sighed, moaned and stormed off. Not a normal reaction of somebody who is expecting a child in seven weeks!!! (C-section at 38 weeks.)

Then there's the partying. God forbid that anything comes between him and going ouy on the p*ss. That annoys me.
I've tried to talk to his mum who thinks he "coping well with the idea if a baby." She has no idea what he's actuallg like and I havent the heart to tell her that her son is a $hit.

We've been together for 20 months. I've no idea how to even break the news i want us to finish our relationship. He thinks I'm "the one." That we are going to live together and get married once im done with uni...er fat chance. Should i give him an ultimatum? Sort yourself out or we're done. Or shpuld I call it a day? I'm leaning more towsrds just finishing it necause i have tried and tried to make it work. If hes interested in being a good partner and father then he sjouldnt need an ultimatum.

As for baby, im not giving him away. Ive had a long chat with my stepdad and i know i'll never be alone. I've not told anybody that ive been considering adoption.

Sorry for the length of this and sorry for the typos.

 

[teenmommy15]

I was worried that my OH was going to be a bad dad because were so young and hes so immature and never really seemed interested in the baby we were so excited when we found out i was pregnant but idk something just always seemed like he wasnt interested at appointments and such and he kept choosing his family over me and the baby and not setting his mom straight. So i gave him an ultimatum if he didnt step up and start sticking up for the baby, then i would have his parental rights taken away and he would not see the baby. He's alot better now with everything im so happy how far hes progressed still has some maturing to do but im starting to think hes going to be a fantastic dad.

Im sorry about your FOB but if you think its time to call it quits then its time or if you think an ultimatum might work then try it but its up you. Do whats best for you and the baby. If he cant be a full time dad or step up then hes not good enough for you or your baby.

 

[MiSS.M0MMY2BE]

He honestly told you he would only be a part time dad? Id have decked him right then. But seriously, he seems very immature. Like bethany said you could try the ultimatum or you can call it quits. Whichever one you think is better. If you dont think an ultimatum will work, well then theres really no point in even trying it. I hope everything works out for you hun.

 

[Lucy139]

Sounds to me like enough is enough it's time to call it a day if he's already told u he's going to be a part time dad clearly an ultimatum would be pointless x

 

[17pregnant]

Hi hun. Gosh I could've sworn you were me by the sounds of this story. Bar one thing, you sound strong you and your baby are worth more than anything like that, and youll know deep down whats right. If your guts telling you he wont change, then do what you know is best. It's so bloody hard, and I admire you. I really do. If you ever need to chat PM me

 

[KatieMichhele]

this is never a nice thing to go through but its made worse by the fact that your so far gone, tbh he sounds as if he couldn't be bothered about the baby, it may all change when the babys here as a lot of dads don't feel connected through pregnancy but will after. At the end of the day you need to decide whats best for you and your baby, are you happy in the relationship. Pm me if you want to chat xx

 

[baby9]

Thanks for all your replies!! I told him exactly how he made me feel. That I think I'll be alone and that he won't want to know etc and he seemed pretty upset and genuine. He's admittef that he feels left out because it isn't him who's pregnant so to him he wont feel like a parent until baby is here. He does talk to bump and up until two weeks ago he seemed excited.

His dad just got a job in Abu Dhabi (we live in UK) so his parents are leaving in August which he's found really hard to deal with. He's looking for a better paid job so has a lot of stress atm and doesn't know where he will be living come August. I guess he's just stressed. I'm not making excuses for him but when I wad stressed about uni, the baby was the last thing on my mind.

He says he won't be a part time dad at all and doesn't know where I got that idea from. He never specifically said those words (id have slapped him) but he did say something along the lines of being around only on weekends.

 

[baby9]

Anyway, I've decided just to let things carry on as normal for now. Up until two weeks ago he was an amazing partner so mayne he's just having a tough time and I should cut him some slack? If things don't improve after baby arrives then obviously I'll reconsider. Xx

 

[teenmommy15]

Thats good that he's gonna try to do better now. I have been cutting my OH slack through most of my pregnancy and i know its hard not to worry that they're going to end up leaving or being part time dads but if hes stressed as is he doesnt want you to be stressed, stressing him out thinking hes not gonna be a good dad. I told my OH that after summer if things didnt go well then we were over i want to see how the he handles the baby with me for the summer since were out of school so we"ll have a lot of time on our hands. So i think your doing whats best, Good Luck!