How to avoid tearing???

[Diamondgirl13]

This is my first baby and I hopefully plan to delivery naturally!! I'm not worried about the labour but I am very worried about tearing and stitches?? I even get sore after sex so this is making me paranoid I'm gonna tear bad!! Did anyone try a perineal massage?? What were your tearing experiences?? Any tips to avoid tearing?? Thanks ladies x

 

[noon_child]

The only thing I know is when the midwfe says stop pushing and pant you should listen to her. I think the speed of delivery and size of child probably have a lot to do with it and you can't control that!

 

[tristansmum]

I think mine was all going well until he emerged with his hand by his face and got his shoulders stuck. I had a second degree tear and won't lie it wasn't pleasant. Sore for a couple of weeks but now you'd never know. Try not to worry. Often it's out of your control. X

 

[Shadowy Lady]

I delivered naturally and didn't tear, not even a graze. I followed my midwife's instructions to a T during pushing but I'm not sure if that's why I didn't tear or I was just lucky.

I have heard that delivering naturally does decrease your chances of tearing though.

 

[Kess]

I was terrified of tearing too. I did perineal massage and had a water birth in a fairly upright position which are all reputed to help. I still tore, but he was a 9lb 5oz baby with a big head (I'm 5'2" for perspective) and I didn't tear very badly, so maybe they did help. I didn't tear at all with his head, it was just that he got impatient and wiggled his shoulders as they were emerging and that tore me. Tbh it wasn't anything like as bad as I thought it would be - I didn't feel it at all and being stitched up afterwards was alright too.

 

[MissingBubs]

Wish I knew!! I had a natural birth to an 8lb baby with a 30 hour labour. No real issues but I had a 2nd degree tear with grazes as well. I wasn't too sore afterwards though. And you wouldn't know now.

 

[dan-o]

My tip would be don't forcefully push (unless there's a reason to obviously) just keep calm and let the contractions do the work, just breathe the baby out. I did this second time round and had no damage whatsoever!

 

[snowfia]

With DD the MW were kinda rushing me when it came to pushing and I don't know if it made a difference but I tore and needed stitches.

With DS I had a water birth and did everything at my pace. I had a 1st degree tear or graze or something, I can't really remember. But didn't need stitches and he was a whopping 10lb 14oz.

 

[Pearls18]

Obviously it's not entirely preventable, but things that can help are perineum massage, giving birth in a position in which gravity can help because positions such as on your back close your pelvis by about 30% so make it more likely to tear. I gave birth in a not ideal position first time around and had 2 little tears, this time I was pretty much up right and had no tears whatsoever. Also as others have said listening to your MW, it's better for baby to come out in stages if possible instead of one fell swoop!

 

[Diamondgirl13]

Thanks ladies! I am feeling better about it now, just hate hearing the horror stories!! I will take all your advice and experience on board!! X