How to begin trying to self settle?

[KittyVentura]

Hi all,

Appreciate that my son isn't yet 6 weeks old but I'm looking for some self settle advice.

My son won't sleep without a LOT of encouragement or something to set him off. I know I'm luckier than most because he does sleep quite well at night and has naps during the day. I don't mind the way things are at the moment and can keep going as I am but sooner or later I'm going to have to get him to settle himself and I figure an earlier start but more gentle approach might be best. I'm worried I'm making a rod for my own back by having to always encourage him to sleep.

For daytime naps he needs a small "cry down" in his swing (5-10 mins of tired grizzle before he goes off), or he falls asleep while we go out walking and the motion of the pram is doing it, or in the car or he falls asleep on me or in the sling. If I put him down in his basket to go off to sleep himself, even when he is giving me all his tired signals, he does not go to sleep. He doesn't "cry down" in his basket either. He'll just moan a bit and then really let rip, screaming and as soon as this starts he goes bright red and REALLY sweats and I'm not comfortable to leave him to cry like this. It's like a proper angry cry and he gets so worked up that it's quite upsetting.

Night time is better. He has a good bath, bottle, bed routine already and the bath seems to trigger "sleep mode" for him so he doesn't fight sleep like he does in the day. He'll doze during his past-bath feed and fall asleep on me or DH, we'll then put him down. If he's not in a deep enough sleep he'll grizzle and need us to get him back up and get him into a deeper sleep before he goes down. This never takes long though and he's normally asleep properly by 9pm. The same happens for his night feeds, he'll fall asleep on the bottle and then be put down.

Again we have tried putting him down awake but the same screaming, red & sweaty situation occurs .

Does anyone know of a way of encouraging him to self settle and go down in his basket awake... or not fully asleep?

Or has anyone had a baby that's like this that just grew out of it or got better in time? I've stopped rocking him to sleep when he's on me but I'm not sure what else to do. Do I just keep trying him awake in his basket?

I worry that, by repeated tries putting him down awake and then picking him back up because he cries, I'm just teaching him more negative sleep habits and he's learning that crying gets him picked up etc

I'd rather not have to keep as we are for now and then later need to introduce CIO or CC because I find it so so so hard to hear him cry.

Any advice appreciated xx

 

[NG09]

My LO was exactly the same. He still needs rocked to sleep for daytime naps but at bedtime we put him in his cot half asleep, give him a kiss and tuck him in, he has a roll about then goes to sleep, however he only started doing this about a week ago.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

You will probably hate me for this but time helps, Jess if she is calm can be put in the moses and will normally wriggle and moan for a bit but will fall asleep herself, sometimes at night she still needs help now at 11 weeks

 

[KittyVentura]

Thanks guys. I really don't mind doing what we do at the moment, now we know how to get him to sleep we have it quite alright... but I'd hate to be making a situations for myself if you know what I mean lol xx

 

[Dolly.]

It is tricky, Tristan is beginning to fall asleep by himself now at 9 weeks but not all the time, I guess they learn to do it themselves eventually. I began to worry as he would only every sleep after a feed of in his rocker but he is getting better all by himself now, I'd just give it time

 

[Szaffi]

We started to be more consistent about it at around 2 months old. I wouldn't let her fall asleep nursing, but always put her in her cot when she was still (half?)awake. I or OH would sing or say some rhymes to her and turn on her musical mobile and leave. If she cries, go back, soothe her, put her back, do the same thing.

We repeated the ritual for afternoon naps - for morning and late afternoon nap, she's sleep randomly in the relax chair or swing downstairs.

She settled into this in 1-2 weeks and is still awesome about falling asleep and getting back to sleep by herself.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Ruby was the same at your LO's age although she has never 'cried down'. She would need rocking or to be put down asleep.
Since about 9 weeks she could go down awake, with a dummy. If she cries, we go to her but she doesn't usually.

 

[aliss]

You can read the book "no cry sleep solution", the trick is to slowly reduce the need for sleep associations.

But I should warn you, temperament determines a lot! We are still assisting him at 5 months, high needs babies do not do well with self settling, although you'd know if you had one of those types, loL!

 

[dizzymeg]

i rub olly's back quite firmly if he cries when in his cot at night and that can help settle him, also he has a really strong sucking reflex so we had to give him a dummy, even tho i didnt want to and it works really well for him, just helps him settle and then he spits it out anyway. he loves music, so singing can sometimes help him, not always though.
but as the ladies above said, time is really important, babies change, this can be a good and a bad thing, you think you have something sorted and then they decide to change again!
good luck. it will get better
xx

 

[lanaross]

oh gosh six weeks is when bella slept on me and me only. You're hardly making any situation, do whatever works to make them sleep for now. I know it's frustrating not to be able to get to a bathroom or make a sandwich, but he is still so tiny Also what helped me in the beginning is the fisher price lil lambs swing, I bought it at around 2 months when I was just a walking zombie and then Isabella weaned herself off of it at 4 months, she didn't really want to sleep in it anymore, just play.

I tried a combination of sleepsense and no cry baby solution at around 3 months or so. She knows I am around, not abandoning her, she can see me, I pick her up when she starts crying and put her down when she stops. Eventually she did get a hold of it. That said now that I know she can self settle, and if she can't fall asleep and gets upset, I still rock her to sleep if this is needed. Especially with teething, she gets all the snuggles in the world.

 

[tu123]

May sound daft but my near 4 week old would scrach when put into the crib from my arms. warming the crib first with a hot water bottle seemed to help as she still fely snuggled.