How to deal w/ Secondary Infertility?

[Redhed]

I've been TTC number 2 for a year now. My daughter was conceived the first month we tried. I've been to doctors and they say I have low progesterone. I've been trying different meds like clomid, novarel, and progesterone supplements. I'm SO tired of the drugs. I recently started acupunture since I have heard that could help. Its just so heartbreaking. I know I'm extremely lucky to have 1 child, and I love her more than anything in the world. It seems like everyone around me is prego now too. Including my SIL who I have to see almost every other weekend for family parties! I absolutely lost is sobbing this last weekend when we left. HOW do I deal w/ this!? I feel like there is no one to even talk to about this because no one understands.

 

[readyformore]

Either no one understands or they think that you have no right to be upset because you already have a child.
It really is hard.

 

[Nadhoo]

I conceived on the first try 6 yrs ago .. And I have been trying for number 2 for over a year with no success .. Feel so low

 

[Charliegirl27]

It's difficult to keep positive but you should try to. I kept crying all the time and feeling like a victim! Why me? But it was affecting my relationship with Dh and dd so I kept my mind busy with hobbies and doing things with my daughter. Unfortunately I needed counselling after my second dd was born and I wish I had it before hand.
This time round I don't feel I need the counselling as I have confided in a friend this time and talk on forums etc. I feel I'm in a better place mentally although I will obviously be devastated if we get another fail this month but onwards and upwards.

I also have several friends and family members all pregnant at the mo. Some unexpectedly (or so they say) it is hard to deal with but I am happy for them all the same.
I've learnt in life what will be will be. I can try and change things with meds and interventions but I have a wonderful life without another child. Another child would just be the icing on the cake.

 

[JennyBee]

I understand. First time I'm ever posting on my problem. I'm 33yrs old. My DS is 8 yrs old and been married for almost 14 yrs. We started ttc when DS was 5. Its been over 3yrs now! I had a break down last night . Im tired! depressed and cant seem to find comfort anywhere about this. " dont worry so much", "Just relax", "It will happen" AND YES! At least one had the guts to say well... you have Junior! Aghhh! that makes me mad. Its getting overwheling and want to give up. My DS is also dealing with it, When he was 6, He told his teachers I was pregnant hoping that it would come true. It gets even harder when he asks When?? Why is it taking so long?? Its hard becuase I need to stay strong for him, When I try not to dwell on it, he reminds me. I'm PMSing real bad right now! yes I got AF. Hence, DID NOT WORK! Well here is what I am doing now:

Started last year with 3 rounds of Clomid-Nothing-Gave up for almost a year then started again.
HSG-OK
Low progesterone 7. something when I started the process 1 yr ago.
Started Femara 2.5mg 2x p/day CD3-7 w/ IUI
Prog test at CD21, Result 18 (RE Nurse said that really good?!)
Got AF after spotting for 5 days. Hence, it hit me hard to know I got AF!

I'm gonna dust it off and try again...I guess

DILEMMA: (Well I have a lot)
#1 So scared of taking Femara because of what I read. I know that reports say that Birth defects happen only if the woman is pregnant.
Are there any moms out there with healthy Babies born w/ Femara??? I've read only of women that are pregnant but not with born children.

#2 My RE's Nurse said that if I get an Ultrasound to check my Follies, I have to get an HcG shot?? Is this true?? I'm already having a hard time deciding to take Femara. Also My RE did not do any Ultrasounds or bloodtests while I was on Clomid. I realize this now, Wasn't he suppose to? I had to ask for blood work during my 1st round of Femara. Please give me your input on this??

 

[Nadhoo]

As far as I know when follicular scans are done HCG injection is given to make sure you do ovulate.. Before the follie turns to a cyst .. But if you ovulate without it your dr might let u skip it .. I have taken 8 HCG injections so fr and none hurt .. Hehe .. But plays havoc on your emotions

 

[Nadhoo]

Btw I am 33 too and I feel terrible when my son touches my tummy and ask me whether a baby is there .. Once he told his teacher that I was pregnant too ..

 

[popchick75]

They should be monitoring you by ultrasound. If they don't do the ultrasounds, how do they know what size the follies are...or even more important...how *many* there are? If they aren't getting big enough, then they know to adjust the dosage. What if you have a lot of mature follies? You might not want to trigger due to the chance of high order multiples. I always preferred to get the HcG shot to ovulating on my own.....that way they the follies are the perfect size and you can know the exact date of ovulation.

Good luck! Fingers crossed for you this cycle!

 

[JennyBee]

Wow thank u so much for your support. Your all in my prayers. I'm glad I found this website because I really need to talk to others who can understand. I will b more assertive w/ my RE.

 

[popchick75]

I have seen several REs over the 9 years we've been trying and I learned that you *must* educate yourself and learn about both your body and what the options are. It seems like if you are unsure, the RE will just run over you and make the decision for you! I usually go in with a list....if I don't I get sidetracked and forget what it is I wanted to ask

 

[Nadhoo]

I am going to ask my OBG for an HSG next cycle ..

 

[Kedeechi]

Hey red head any luck with ttc? I literally teard up when I read your story. I too have a little girl who I conceived after only trying for one month. I was 23 when I got pregnant the first time. I'm now 29 and have been trying for 10 months and had two misscarriages and finally was tested. Guess what?! Low pregesterone! Ugh. Plus apparently I don ovulate every month? But I did get pregnant twice in ten months! What makes this even harder is EVERYONE is pregnant. My 3 cousins and my 3 best friends. All who I talk to daily. Oh and my first misscarriage due date is my cousins due date for her daughter. I am trying so hard to put on this poker face and be happy for everyone but I'm dying inside. I know it sounds selfish b/c I have THEE most amazing five year old little girl anyone could ask for but I so desperately want to give her the sibling she asks for on almost a daily basis. I'm so depressed but refuse to let anyone know it. I just feel taking to people who understand me would make me feel better. I'm supposed to be going to the doctor next week to talk about clomid so I guess we will see! Good luck and god bless!!

 

[barbikins]

Hey ladies, I had my first baby last August but lost her 5 days later. We've been casually trying since last October & really put in the efforts starting February. It's been really difficult for me. I've had lots of friends & family have babies since & they didn't have any troubles at all. I dont understand why it was so easy the first time - we didn't plan it!
Anyway, I got some preliminary tests like ultrasound & blood work & they all came back with positive results. In a little over a week, we're going to our first fertility clinic appointment. I am nervous about it. I just want to be preggers again.

 

[CeeCeeW11]

I've been TTC number 2 for a year now. My daughter was conceived the first month we tried. I've been to doctors and they say I have low progesterone. I've been trying different meds like clomid, novarel, and progesterone supplements. I'm SO tired of the drugs. I recently started acupunture since I have heard that could help. Its just so heartbreaking. I know I'm extremely lucky to have 1 child, and I love her more than anything in the world. It seems like everyone around me is prego now too. Including my SIL who I have to see almost every other weekend for family parties! I absolutely lost is sobbing this last weekend when we left. HOW do I deal w/ this!? I feel like there is no one to even talk to about this because no one understands.

I understand what your going throu, I work in a salon with 36 other girls which 4 of them where preggers this past year. I too have a progesterone deff. with annovulation. I took clomid 100mg started last aug we became pregnant twice,lost the first then the second with twins due to progersterone diff. even while being on supplements, needless to say we switched obgys then we were sent to a fert. speac. we are now on femara and noveril hcg injections last month we had to mature follies with no luck this month two but we are on the tww and if we have no luck next month its IUI. We had all the chromosone testing ran and everything came back good! Its been since feb since we lost the twins and i can't help but feel angry when I see other girls at work bring in there little babies when I should have had either my first or my twins by now?!;( Don't let anyone get you upset when they say OH god will give you one when its your time or gid has blessed you with one bc they don't have any idea what it feels like to go through this! Its an emotional roller coaster not to mention mentally and physically! These meds are blowing me up! lol I started out at 122lbs and now im at 132lbs! I'm like really people are going to start thinking I'm pregnant pretty soon so something gotta give, my poor husband he doesn't even now what to say and he hold everything inside so I think he is ready to explode! If ya ever need to talk I'm here bc lord knows I cant hardly get much out of my husband hes a man and isn't good about talking out feelings! GOOD LUCK!

 

[CeeCeeW11]

Hey ladies, I had my first baby last August but lost her 5 days later. We've been casually trying since last October & really put in the efforts starting February. It's been really difficult for me. I've had lots of friends & family have babies since & they didn't have any troubles at all. I dont understand why it was so easy the first time - we didn't plan it!
Anyway, I got some preliminary tests like ultrasound & blood work & they all came back with positive results. In a little over a week, we're going to our first fertility clinic appointment. I am nervous about it. I just want to be preggers again.

Keep your head up!You will be very pleased with going to a specialist. Did you have 21 day progesterone test ran to check and see if your ovulating? They usually can't get accurate results unless they run it around cd 21 of your cycle. You may have a progesterone def. which aka luteal phase defect which can effect which is when the progesterone numbers are below normal around the time of ovulation which can then effect the implantation of a fertilized egg from properly implanting into the linning bc progesterone is what thickens the lining for your baby to have a healthy growing processing while your pregnant and also is what helps mature the pacenta so your baby gets all the nutrients for the first trimester and that the placenta takes over so if your progesterone is low they will put you on a supplement after ovulation and for the first trimester or until no longer needed. You will be in great hands! Everything will work out just keep your faith! God Bless you!

 

[Charliegirl27]

Hey ladies, I had my first baby last August but lost her 5 days later. We've been casually trying since last October & really put in the efforts starting February. It's been really difficult for me. I've had lots of friends & family have babies since & they didn't have any troubles at all. I dont understand why it was so easy the first time - we didn't plan it!
Anyway, I got some preliminary tests like ultrasound & blood work & they all came back with positive results. In a little over a week, we're going to our first fertility clinic appointment. I am nervous about it. I just want to be preggers again.

Welcome. Sorry to hear of your loss.
I conceived my first naturally too but for some unknown reason no 2 and now 3 need 'assistance'.
The hard thing for me is to see people announce their pregnancy and go on to have their baby all while I'm still trying. I am happy for them but its soo disheartening too.

I hope your fertility appt goes ok. No need to be nervous, be excited! If all prelim results are ok thats half the battle. I know what you mean though, I can't wait either. My personal deadline was dec 31st but now I need a laparoscopy which will delay things so I need to rethink. I gave myself a deadline so I know I don't have to go through this for too long.

Good luck, hope you don't have to wait too soon x

 

[barbikins]

Hey ladies, I had my first baby last August but lost her 5 days later. We've been casually trying since last October & really put in the efforts starting February. It's been really difficult for me. I've had lots of friends & family have babies since & they didn't have any troubles at all. I dont understand why it was so easy the first time - we didn't plan it!
Anyway, I got some preliminary tests like ultrasound & blood work & they all came back with positive results. In a little over a week, we're going to our first fertility clinic appointment. I am nervous about it. I just want to be preggers again.

Keep your head up!You will be very pleased with going to a specialist. Did you have 21 day progesterone test ran to check and see if your ovulating? They usually can't get accurate results unless they run it around cd 21 of your cycle. You may have a progesterone def. which aka luteal phase defect which can effect which is when the progesterone numbers are below normal around the time of ovulation which can then effect the implantation of a fertilized egg from properly implanting into the linning bc progesterone is what thickens the lining for your baby to have a healthy growing processing while your pregnant and also is what helps mature the pacenta so your baby gets all the nutrients for the first trimester and that the placenta takes over so if your progesterone is low they will put you on a supplement after ovulation and for the first trimester or until no longer needed. You will be in great hands! Everything will work out just keep your faith! God Bless you!

Hello! Yes actually I did get tested to see if my progesterone was at appropriate levels & also if I'm gearing up to ovulate. Those tests came back with no issues. I even got a routine ultrasound which came back healthy. I am curious what tests I'll have when I go on Tuesday - I'm told blood work & an ultrasound might be required & I've had other people say that they may have me do cycle monitoring. I just hope there isn't any problems & it's just a matter of time & time is taking its TIME!
Thanks lady xo

 

[barbikins]

Hey ladies, I had my first baby last August but lost her 5 days later. We've been casually trying since last October & really put in the efforts starting February. It's been really difficult for me. I've had lots of friends & family have babies since & they didn't have any troubles at all. I dont understand why it was so easy the first time - we didn't plan it!
Anyway, I got some preliminary tests like ultrasound & blood work & they all came back with positive results. In a little over a week, we're going to our first fertility clinic appointment. I am nervous about it. I just want to be preggers again.

Welcome. Sorry to hear of your loss.
I conceived my first naturally too but for some unknown reason no 2 and now 3 need 'assistance'.
The hard thing for me is to see people announce their pregnancy and go on to have their baby all while I'm still trying. I am happy for them but its soo disheartening too.

I hope your fertility appt goes ok. No need to be nervous, be excited! If all prelim results are ok thats half the battle. I know what you mean though, I can't wait either. My personal deadline was dec 31st but now I need a laparoscopy which will delay things so I need to rethink. I gave myself a deadline so I know I don't have to go through this for too long.

Good luck, hope you don't have to wait too soon x

Hiya! Thanks for the encouragement. And I'm sorry you're having unexplained issues - that seems to be the worst isnt it? I'm afraid in some ways if they don't find some thing & I'm just not getting pregnant- will there be a solution? I've heard IUI works great so I know in the back of my mind, that's an option - I just really hope we can conceive naturally. Well, doesn't everyone? And yes it's hard when everyone else is pregnant or just had a baby or did when I lost mine - it all seemed to really be rubbing in my face. And here I am sat, still NOTHING.

I'll try to keep positive & see how it goes on Tuesday. Wish me luck!
xo