how to deal ..

[dudettex]

I moved out of FOB's place in feb, been on and off til march and he hasn't been allowed to see her since beginning of april. Because he would go nuts and attack me and my family, he would always try to cancel his weekend visits with Briella(DD) and just always give me a hard time. He'd make suicidal comments while with Brie, spamming my phone every second and just being so stressed and pretending she's screaming if I don't answer etc.. anyways.. it's been real hard because she doesn't have a dad. We tried supervised visits, he came once in may, never wanted to again really. And now he's moved to Ontario.. which is 16-17 hours by drive from here. Most days are just so hard. I wish she had a dad. I wish he would've just been there for her. All of this has been beating me up quite bad.. Most days I just randomly burst into tears no matter where i am, who I'm with .. I'm so worn out, I don't know how to deal with this?! Just need some advice, I don't have a friend that is a single parent, i don't really have anyone to talk to about it. If anyone is or has been through this, or just has some good advice, it'd be really appreciated right now

 

[Mummy1995]

I know how awful it feels. My FOB lives 10mins away yet he's seen Isabella 5 times and had no contact in almost 5 month. Hugs hun xx

 

[teal]

It gets easier. My son has never met my ex/fob, we broke up when I refused to terminate. I did feel upset and wanted him to be involved, be a dad to my son etc. then it sort of sank in that he was never going to be that decent man so I was just sort of upset about how I wanted him to be and not how he really was.

I have no idea if that makes sense. Your child doesn't need someone like that. You don't need someone like that. I honestly do believe that no contact if better than "whenever fob feels like it" contact.

It does get better.

 

[moomin_troll]

I've never met my dad and can honestly say I've never missed out, never wanted to see him and glad he's never been in my life.
It's tough being a single mum.
My boys don't see there dad for different reasons, but at the end of the day long as our lo's are taken care of, loved and happy then we are doing a pretty good job lol

 

[Louiseandbump]

Last time FOB saw my daughter two weeks ago, he was DRUNK when i turned up to drop her off, threatened me infront of her, brought her into the argument telling her how nasty i was and then disagreeing with her when she said 'mommys not nasty!' Ive since stopped him seeing her, because he is so unstable and i do find it hard too.

I dont really have any advice other than if you have the opportunity, give yourself a break sometimes. Being a parent is hard, and being a single parent is harder, without the added emotional stress and guilt of it all.

Your LO clearly has a loving mommy, which will more then make up for the fact that her father has been a total arse.

If you ever need to chat, feel free to message me.

 

[creatingpeace]

LOUISE^^^^^ so good to "see" you here...I remember reaidng your stiory on here when you were pregnant and being sooooo moved by it that I co0ntacted you on fb!!! I have become a single mommy now too!

To OP I think the best thing you can do for yourself, is that the best care of you. Forge forward...do think about "what was supposed to be". you are being a fantastic mommy hence your LO is geeting everything she needs. Sounds like the father has lots to work out on his own.

Build a network of support for yourself if you can?

 

[Louiseandbump]

LOUISE^^^^^ so good to "see" you here...I remember reaidng your stiory on here when you were pregnant and being sooooo moved by it that I co0ntacted you on fb!!! I have become a single mommy now too!

Hi! Haha that was such a longggg thread wasnt it. I was totally amazed at the support i got from the girls at the time. Honestly wouldnt have stayed sane without this site. I look back now and think god it must have been the hormones because the guys a waste of space! Sorry to hear youre relationship didnt work out, but being a single mommy isnt so bad is it?

To OP I agree with Creatingpeace, a support network of positive people, friends and family will help alot. Ask for help if you need it, talk about it, cry about it when you need to, and every day it will get a little bit better.

 

[Dream.dream]

Time makes it easier and a good support system is very important for your sanity and for your daughter . In general while it would be nice for kids to know their dads an have them support them , kids don't need a dad if they have enough strong healthy attachments with other people in their lives .

My sons dad has had shotty visitation my sons while life always supervised and he only ever did the bare minimum at best , until 5 months ago when he decided he doesn't want to corn see him anymore because it wasnt fair to "his family" that he was spending his time and money once a week to drive down to see him.

He's been gone and my son doesn't even give a hoot , he never asked about him not coming to see him anymore and is happy without him.