How to get him sleeping independently again?

[katherinegrey]

My LO is nearly 18 months old, and since newborn he's been a champion sleeper. He never liked to be held to sleep though, he much preferred going in his moses basket alone, and then as he got older his cot. I could always put him down awake but sleepy and know he'd be flat out for the night in a matter of minutes. Naps were the same, I'd put him in his cot as he got sleepy, and he'd nap beautifully.

Apart from the last month. He's suddenly decided he won't sleep. He has to be held to sleep, and even then it's a case of him finally passing out from exhaustion.

MIL and FIL keep telling me I need to 'just leave him'. I put him down for a nap earlier, and timed him, he screamed hysterically for a full fifteen minutes with me outside the door when I finally gave in and went and got him. Within two minutes of me picking him up he was asleep, which proved he was exhausted. I waited ten minutes to make sure he was fully asleep then placed him back in his cot. He woke up and all hell broke lose again.

I mean, how long should I leave him for exactly?! 15 minutes felt much too long to me, as like I say he was really getting worked up, and definitely not more sleepy.

He's had a grand total of ten minutes sleep in my arms today, and now he's cranky, and come bedtime he'll be over tired and be a nightmare to put down again.

The other night DH was in his room holding him until midnight before he finally gave in.

I have no idea what to do with him. Any suggestions at all please?

 

[seoj]

Not sure it helps- but my LO went through a rough time around 18mos too. She's known how to self settle since she was a baby though- but whether she would has always been an issue on/off. She'd go months all easy peasy- then days, weeks or even months needing us more-- then just as suddenly, she was Ok on her own again. Go figure!

Since your LO knows how to self settle- I bet, in time, this will pass and he'll go back to his usual (or at least easier) routine. I know that doesn't help you now... but it helped me get through the rough times, knowing it would pass in time with my LO.

Personally- I can't just let my LO cry for very long. We used very mild controlled crying (because it worked best for her). Even better, at times, than holding her and letting her cry- if I set her down, and left (just for 1-2mins) and went back in and held her- she'd usually calm down quicker. Then next time I'd leave for 3-4mins... and so forth. I don't think I ever left longer than 5mins-- it was my personal limit (if that). And it depended on how upset she was- sometimes, I wouldn't leave, I'd just stay and rub her back etc...

Just do what makes sense for YOU and LO hun... no one else can know what that is. Best of luck it passes soon!

 

[katherinegrey]

Thank you, if it's just a phase that he will get over on his own I can handle that, it's MIL and FIL telling me I must leave him on his own and he's just being difficult. 15 minutes felt much too long to me, I've never left him longer than 10 tops, but MIL was saying eventually he would learn I wasn't going to come running and he'd go to sleep

I should have known better to be honest. If it feels wrong then it probably is in my experience.

 

[seoj]

I agree- it's easy to second guess oursleves with others offer their "friendly" advice... but, at the end of the day, it's what makes sense for you and your LO. Period. You know what's best!

 

[Dragonfly]

I can say thats a phase. Maybe a milestone too. I bed share and even got that with mine. I was just there for them and it passed faster. I didnt sleep train or cio or anything like that.

 

[NicholaP]

Just noticed you're pregnant again Katherine! congrats