How to get over it...

[Inge]

Hiya
Me and the OH decided to TTC in october last year. I lost my ob ust after and struggled to find another. We, foolishly thought we'd be able to do it even though I was now unemployed
I soon realised that there was no way we could bring a baby up how we were. I have now enrolled on a two year Business diploma and am looking for weekend/evening work (which is not around right now) Ive signed to an agency and ust had a 3 day placement and have to wait to hear if I have anything else. I need to save to pay for college as im am totally broke.
After college I would want to work for a year+ before we TTC. ust so im settled in work and we have money. I also want us to own a house. At the moment we are looking to have a council house but as OH has a 7 year old boy already, we can only have a 2 bed so we wouldnt have space when a new baby comes along. So I might have to work for 2 years to save for a deposit on a house. Argh! there is so much stuff we have to do
Im so upset because we had decided we were TTC and then we had to cancel it. Now we have a 3-4 year wait till we can TTC again. Im only 19 but I worry that its gonna be another 5 years before we can have our baby. I know if I do the course and save up, then our future babies will have an amazing, comfortable life but I want it now
And to top it all I keep seeing beautiful babies and bumps everywhere! Ive also gone back on BCP which I was so upset about doing, as it felt like the final nail in the coffin.
Sorry for the essay, I just need to know that im not wierd and mad and if theres anything I can do to stop feeling like ive lost something? I know it will happen in good time and be better to wait but I dont know if I can wait.

 

[Staceysparkle]

I'm so sorry hun

You dont sound weird or mad at all I totally understand what you mean about feeling a sense of loss.

Me and OH had decided to start TTC from last month and had just started but in the last two weeks I've been told my boss is leaving and I need to find another job but there is nothing about I dont know what to do either as the thought of putting TTC on hold is killing me but I know its the sensible option until I have a secure job again but I still dont know what to do

 

[Inge]

thanks for replying x
Its good to know someone else feels like this. I have college to think about and finding a weekend job so I wont have time to stress about it. We also have to get ourselves settled into a house and have a nice amount of money. I knwo what you mean about it being sensible, but sometimes I just think, so what, lets do it. But I know we cant possibly bring a baby into our lives at the moment. Hope you find a job, Ive been looking for full time work since end of october so I know how bad the job market is. Thing is I need money to pay for college stuff. I might have to pay for retaking my maths gcse but im not sure. Im registered at an agency but I had a 3 day placement and thats it. Hopefully we'll both find something

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I know what you mean sweetie. It sucks so bad to have to wait like we do. T^T

 

[proudmummy]

Aw that really sucks. I am so desperate for number 2, even though my son is only 5 weeks old im so broody again. Work is an issue for me as although I have told my boss I am going back, I think we both thought deep down that I wouldnt as we do not get on at all so we are worried about money too. xxx

 

[Inge]

we all worry about money but how much is enough? I mean babies and pregnancy costs a lot of money. Then as the child grows up, school and holidays, birthdays, christmas,.. it all adds up. Im determind to have a good life for our babies so Il work hard and study hard. My employment has always been in catering. So I might look into Catering management as a career. Ive done a job before where I was a weekend superviser so I know how it goes. Hopefully in 3 years Ill have my diploma, have a steady job and have saved £5,000 at least. Should be easy as im living with mum til we get a house of our own. Ive been addicted to looking at home buying websites right now, and working out mortgages
Am I the only one?
On the topic of houses, how hard is it to really get the deposit together? Im looking for us to have about £15,000 for a deposit. Im so a worrier! OH hates that trait in me!

 

[RoyalPython]

we all worry about money but how much is enough? I mean babies and pregnancy costs a lot of money. Then as the child grows up, school and holidays, birthdays, christmas,.. it all adds up. Im determind to have a good life for our babies so Il work hard and study hard. My employment has always been in catering. So I might look into Catering management as a career. Ive done a job before where I was a weekend superviser so I know how it goes. Hopefully in 3 years Ill have my diploma, have a steady job and have saved £5,000 at least. Should be easy as im living with mum til we get a house of our own. Ive been addicted to looking at home buying websites right now, and working out mortgages
Am I the only one?
On the topic of houses, how hard is it to really get the deposit together? Im looking for us to have about £15,000 for a deposit. Im so a worrier! OH hates that trait in me!

saw some girlies here talking about it, but look into Rent a house to buy scheme. Its like 25-50% off the rent and you get to buy the house at the end of it

 

[Inge]

we all worry about money but how much is enough? I mean babies and pregnancy costs a lot of money. Then as the child grows up, school and holidays, birthdays, christmas,.. it all adds up. Im determind to have a good life for our babies so Il work hard and study hard. My employment has always been in catering. So I might look into Catering management as a career. Ive done a job before where I was a weekend superviser so I know how it goes. Hopefully in 3 years Ill have my diploma, have a steady job and have saved £5,000 at least. Should be easy as im living with mum til we get a house of our own. Ive been addicted to looking at home buying websites right now, and working out mortgages
Am I the only one?
On the topic of houses, how hard is it to really get the deposit together? Im looking for us to have about £15,000 for a deposit. Im so a worrier! OH hates that trait in me!

saw some girlies here talking about it, but look into Rent a house to buy scheme. Its like 25-50% off the rent and you get to buy the house at the end of it

Ive looked into it. It might be something we could do. At the moment im sticking to studying at college. Im thinking to do a part time course around my full time diploma as well. Just to keep busy and better my chances at work. Im hoping to become a catering manager so im looking into the course id need to do. Im feeling a lot better about everything. It doesnt help when as soon as I take my pill I heave! I think my body doesnt want it in me