Braveheart86
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- Jun 28, 2013
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I'm 31 weeks pregnant with my first child.
At around 24 weks my boyfriend just literally went cold on me, one day he was at mine sorting out the shed for me claiming when I thanked him "anything for you" to then literally not speaking to me for the next week....
Then the day before my birthday he txt and said we needed to talk and he'd take me out for lunch. I was understanably nervous about what was coming - at lunch he didn't really say anything until it came to my birthday the next day when he suggested we went out for dinner... I replied with "it kind of depends on what this chat is going to be about, if you're about to break my heart and finish things between us then no I'm pretty sure dinner isn't a good idea" he took my hand & told me it wasn't like that. So next day he came over with some lovely presents and everything seemed ok. When he left he said he may be going away with work on the thurs, we had a baby heart scan at addenbrooks the tuesday after he may of had to go away so I asked him to let me know either way if he was going away or not - he said he would yet it got to the day before the scan and I didn't know where he was - I txt him & just said I didn't know if he was in the country or even planning on coming to the scan. He replied 20 mins later saying he was in the country but couldn't make scan. I asked if he had planned on telling me or if he was just hoping if he ignored me for long enough I'd go away... he said of course not he had only just found out he couldn't make it...convinient timing!
He then continued to just not talk to me for the next few weeks. Then he txt me and asked when I'd be home for him to come and put the cot up, we arranged a day in the week and he came over. Was pretty obvious things were over between us but we managed to get on and I felt quite positive that we could be ok and get through this life changing event together. He hadn't been the most reliable he last few weeks though so as he left I asked him if he def wanted to be at the birth - he said yes as long as I was ok with that. I then told him that living alone I was really nervous about bringing a baby home for the first time and a couple of our mutual friends had offered to take holiday one after the other just so someone would be here with me - did I need to take them up on the offer or would he be staying? He told me he would be here. I then asked if he had def told his parents. Yes he had he said - good job I thought since he told me at 12 weeks they knew. So like I've said I went to bed feeling better than I had in weeks.
Next morning while I was at work I checked my phone, he had txt me. Txt me to let me know before I found out from someone else that he had decided to start seeing someone else. I literally felt like my heart was breaking into a 100 pieces. I asked if she knew he had a baby on the way & she does. I asked when he met her - on a night out with a sports team he plays for then night after he'd fixed my shed and told me "anything for me" I mean a new gf?? I just don't get it, especially when he tells me it doesn't change anything about what he said about being at the birth and being there after how is he going to juggle a new relationship and a new baby?? someone is going to be neglected and I can't help but assume its not going to be the new gf....
After the initial shock had kind of worn off I made the decision to go and see his parents when I knew he was away wih work, just to let them know that altho he has a new gf I want them to know they can be as involved with baby as they like... of course his mum looked at me like I was nuts because he hadn't actually told them I was pregnant - fabulous! I was so upset and angry at him, he'd been lying to me for weeks! He was out the country and his parents said they'd be in touch when he was bak. He claimed he lied because telling them was difficult & he was scared - its not like we are 16 year olds!
I've since ben over for a meeting with all of them, his dad doesnt understand how I let this happen - its so easy for a woman now a days contraception wise. His parnts have also done a lot of research into rights he has & when baby is here want me to sign some form of contract. Going to wait until I've read that before I make a decision as to whether I sign it or not.
What annoys me though is when we are together we get on fine. Just like friends which I know in my sensible part of my person that its a good thing but then I find myself resenting the fact he has a new gf and is happy when some nights I'm just sat here missing him, it came out of nowhere its not even like I'd felt like we were a bit funny for a while everything seemed fine then like I said at 28weeks he turned my life upside down. He told me the new gf told him he could have time if he needed it but he said it was ok, did he not think maybe I'd need some time? Maybe now wasn't a fab idea to be starting something new when our lives are about to have the biggest upturn I guess any adult faces?? I don't know how to get over the fact he has someone new. Esp since its not like I'm in the postition to start thinking about anybody new. I know in a few weeks I'll have such a big distraction in my life its just the fact right now not a day goes by where I don't find myself just feeling lonely & let down
At around 24 weks my boyfriend just literally went cold on me, one day he was at mine sorting out the shed for me claiming when I thanked him "anything for you" to then literally not speaking to me for the next week....
Then the day before my birthday he txt and said we needed to talk and he'd take me out for lunch. I was understanably nervous about what was coming - at lunch he didn't really say anything until it came to my birthday the next day when he suggested we went out for dinner... I replied with "it kind of depends on what this chat is going to be about, if you're about to break my heart and finish things between us then no I'm pretty sure dinner isn't a good idea" he took my hand & told me it wasn't like that. So next day he came over with some lovely presents and everything seemed ok. When he left he said he may be going away with work on the thurs, we had a baby heart scan at addenbrooks the tuesday after he may of had to go away so I asked him to let me know either way if he was going away or not - he said he would yet it got to the day before the scan and I didn't know where he was - I txt him & just said I didn't know if he was in the country or even planning on coming to the scan. He replied 20 mins later saying he was in the country but couldn't make scan. I asked if he had planned on telling me or if he was just hoping if he ignored me for long enough I'd go away... he said of course not he had only just found out he couldn't make it...convinient timing!
He then continued to just not talk to me for the next few weeks. Then he txt me and asked when I'd be home for him to come and put the cot up, we arranged a day in the week and he came over. Was pretty obvious things were over between us but we managed to get on and I felt quite positive that we could be ok and get through this life changing event together. He hadn't been the most reliable he last few weeks though so as he left I asked him if he def wanted to be at the birth - he said yes as long as I was ok with that. I then told him that living alone I was really nervous about bringing a baby home for the first time and a couple of our mutual friends had offered to take holiday one after the other just so someone would be here with me - did I need to take them up on the offer or would he be staying? He told me he would be here. I then asked if he had def told his parents. Yes he had he said - good job I thought since he told me at 12 weeks they knew. So like I've said I went to bed feeling better than I had in weeks.
Next morning while I was at work I checked my phone, he had txt me. Txt me to let me know before I found out from someone else that he had decided to start seeing someone else. I literally felt like my heart was breaking into a 100 pieces. I asked if she knew he had a baby on the way & she does. I asked when he met her - on a night out with a sports team he plays for then night after he'd fixed my shed and told me "anything for me" I mean a new gf?? I just don't get it, especially when he tells me it doesn't change anything about what he said about being at the birth and being there after how is he going to juggle a new relationship and a new baby?? someone is going to be neglected and I can't help but assume its not going to be the new gf....
After the initial shock had kind of worn off I made the decision to go and see his parents when I knew he was away wih work, just to let them know that altho he has a new gf I want them to know they can be as involved with baby as they like... of course his mum looked at me like I was nuts because he hadn't actually told them I was pregnant - fabulous! I was so upset and angry at him, he'd been lying to me for weeks! He was out the country and his parents said they'd be in touch when he was bak. He claimed he lied because telling them was difficult & he was scared - its not like we are 16 year olds!
I've since ben over for a meeting with all of them, his dad doesnt understand how I let this happen - its so easy for a woman now a days contraception wise. His parnts have also done a lot of research into rights he has & when baby is here want me to sign some form of contract. Going to wait until I've read that before I make a decision as to whether I sign it or not.
What annoys me though is when we are together we get on fine. Just like friends which I know in my sensible part of my person that its a good thing but then I find myself resenting the fact he has a new gf and is happy when some nights I'm just sat here missing him, it came out of nowhere its not even like I'd felt like we were a bit funny for a while everything seemed fine then like I said at 28weeks he turned my life upside down. He told me the new gf told him he could have time if he needed it but he said it was ok, did he not think maybe I'd need some time? Maybe now wasn't a fab idea to be starting something new when our lives are about to have the biggest upturn I guess any adult faces?? I don't know how to get over the fact he has someone new. Esp since its not like I'm in the postition to start thinking about anybody new. I know in a few weeks I'll have such a big distraction in my life its just the fact right now not a day goes by where I don't find myself just feeling lonely & let down