How to remain positive after a loss?

[MrsJones1986]

My husband and I have desperately been trying for baby #1 for almost a year. I had a miscarriage just after the new year and I have recently just got my Bfp. (4 weeks 6days). I can't quite believe it happened so fast with only only cycle between miscarriage and this bfp. I am now sooooo scared and worried it's going to end the same way as the first. How are you ladies keeping upbeat and positive? 1st scan at 12 weeks seems a lifetime away.

 

[SweetV]

It's hard but I try to go day by day. Right now I am pregnant and I have no reason to believe that anything will go wrong.
The wonderful ladies on these boards are great support.

 

[Dill]

I did digital tests and watched my progression on those to help convince myself that this one would stick. It was comforting watching it go from 1-2, to 2-3, to getting my 3+ weeks. I also remind myself that there's no reason to believe anything is wrong, or will be wrong, and point out to myself all the ways that this one has been different.

 

[Snoopee]

I had a miscarriage in December and like you got my bfp on my first cycle after af. I went to see my GP and she referred me for an early scan at 6+5. Got to see the heartbeat and everything is fine. I was so reassuring but I've still had anxiety worrying that something will go wrong. But the closer I get to the 12 week point the less I'm worrying so hopefully in time you'll be able to relax a little more. I also used a Doppler yesterday and heard the heartbeat which was amazing. Maybe you can try that when you're a little further along. Try to keep in mind that just because you have suffered a loss, you are at no more risk of having another miscarriage than the next person.

 

[sunshine2014]

Mrs Jones, I am SO happy to see this post. I Remember seeing your posts after the mc, as I mc around the same time. I also found out this week I got a bfp. I am beyond nervous, And just trying to stay positive. Maybe we can help each other? It sounds like we have had the same timeline so far! So neat

Today we are pregnant

 

[MrsJones1986]

Awww sunshine. Thanks so much and congratulations to you too. This whole trying to conceive journey is such a roller coaster isn't it. I'm over analysing everything and time is going so slowly. So many people have tolde positive stories so I'm really hoping that this time it's our turn. Fingers crossed for a happy and healthy 9 months for both of us x

 

[Tasha]

Congratulations.

I decided no testing as I get too hung up on lines. Aside from that I decided that I wanted no regrets, stressing, not falling completely in love with this baby won't change the outcome nor will it hurt less if the worst happens. It wasn't easy after sixteen first Tri loses and a stillbirth recurrently, I've had my wobbles but in the most part all this baby has felt is my love and I feel happy knowing that.

 

[dairymomma]

I have not had an uncomplicated pg since my DS and if you look at my sig, you'll see just a portion of my story. But I can tell you that I am NOT the norm and staying positive, while VERY hard for a PAL mom, isn't completely out of the realm of possibility. As Tasha said, focus on today, this moment right now and just breathe as best you can. I've had my wobbly days too though and it's okay to have them. Just don't box it in. Talk about your fears with someone-a bnb buddy, your DH, your doctor, anyone you trust. It's hard to stay positive when you've had a previous loss but sometimes all you can do is breathe deep and say "Today I am pregnant. Today my baby is okay." and go on with your day.