How unfair

[Emerald-Sarah]

I had a call last night from a very good male friend .. Been great mates for almost 15 years and he is one of the few people who now all about the problems my OH and I are having ttc.

He was rambling about nothing in paticular but I could tell something was up .. It was then he dropped the bombshell "Im going to be daddy!"
It took me a second to register what he meant to be honest I mean this is my SINGLE, party loving mate who lives in a permanent state of drunkeness (slight exageration but you get the idea) and who still lives at home with his mom at 30 !!!
Thats when it all tumbled out, he had a drunken one night stand a few months ago which has resulted in a 13 week pregnancy, they are not togeather and have no plans to be togeather in the future. It was a one time thing and thats it !!!

ONE TIME ...... jesus christ am I missing something !!!!
Im happily married and have been for six years, we both have great careers and a beatiful house and yet we cant seem to get this elusive and yet they get it after ONE TIME !!!!

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH ... How bloody unfair!!!!!

Sorry for the rant girls but I'm so f****d off this morning !!!

 

[Schmelly]

Oh honey, it cuts like a knife to hear news like that. Big hugs.

 

[Nicnac]

Oh hon, I know how you feel. We can just add it to the list of drug users, unfit parents and half the people appearing on Jeremy Kyle....it's so unfair.

I'm like you, stable loving relationship, stable finances and all we want is a . After 19 attempts it makes you feel like you're being punished for a former life. I'm just wonderng which messed up idiot I was in the last life!

We just have to believe that it will happen for us, and when we do get our LO, it will be the most loved and appreciated bean in the world, because of the trials and tribulations we went through.

Chin up hon

Big

 

[Bexy]

Hey Emerald-Sarah,

That is so completely upsetting for you - you must have been speechless!

Well I was watching Scubbs of all things last night and in the comedy madness there was moment of honesty when one of the characters said "nothing in life is worth having if you haven't had to work really hard to get it"....

It made me cry but I still thought it was something to keep me going and just think how all us LTTTC'ers will love our little bubbas even more!!!

 

[CareBear]

I know how you feel! It sucks!!

 

[Omi]

This has happened to 2 of my DF friends/aquiantances. Both of which were over 40 might i add and did not have a partner at the time. Never mind any thoughts of babies. Both got pg with ex partners and as far i as i know (at least one was a post brake-up s**g) and both did it once and voila!!

I heard about both in a bout a 2 week window..and although these were not close friends, i can very much relate to the utter shock, disbelief and anger that you felt.

One got back toghether with his ex..and claims all is well ( we have our doubts..he is a bit of an older drinkie, hanging out with guys doing his own thing kind of guy) whereas the other, actually is living with his ex whom he has no feelings for whatsoever except for friendship and is finding the whole thing a bit difficult. Albeit not the part with the baby, i should add. Actually, i found out, he thought he was infertile as so much time had passed and he never had any scares and both his sister and brother had ivf to have kids. It made me feel a bit better..but i digress..

I can very much understand all you are saying because i too felt exactly the same way! Its not fair.

, Omi xxx

 

[chefamy1122]

sending your way. Life really is unfair sometimes!

 

[Millnsy]

I empathise entirely! I've totally lost count of the amount of unfortunate accidental pregnancies that have happened since we started TTC over 2 years ago. I started a new job in Sept to find out that the pregnant girl in my team wasn't planning it. Got used to that and then the chaviest bloke in the team got his 19 year old girlfriend up the duff and is now acting like the doting father. He still lives with his bloomin parents and is the most imature person I know! He claims that he was told he'd have trouble conceiving and so did she so its a miracle. Somehow I think that was just an excuse not to be careful...

Sorry, just went off on a bit of a rant then. I'm with you hun!

It will happen for all of us eventually and we will be the best mothers in the world!

M x

 

[mwmm]

Hi E-S,
so sorry to hear about this difficult time for you, i know exactly how you feel-In the five and a half years i have been trying, most of my friends and family have gone on to have to or three at the drop of a hat, and here i am still struggling to even get pregnant!-The only time i found it very difficult was when my other half's best friend had a baby with his partner, and i had to go and buy a tiny little newborn outfit as a present......i held it together until i got home , and then just burst into tears...............'but'......the way i look at it now, is that any babies we have, are no ordinary babies,...they are incredibly special, prescious and very much loved as a result of all the heartache and tears, and that is what keeps me going.
xxxx

 

[Emerald-Sarah]

Thanks for all your replies guys - It helps to hear that that there are other woman out there that really do feel the way I do.
I find myself constantly questioning my reactions nowadays in case im going OTT.

However you are all right, when our little bundles do arrive albeit in their own good time - they will truely be loved and special.

xxxx

 

[MissAma]

One of my employees is going to be a daddy. For the second time. The first time it was a complete accident with another woman. This once it's yet another accident. So much so that he nearly resents the baby and is not the least bit curious to meet it even -gf is 38 weeks now!-

At a company function not long ago he had a couple of drinks and started talking to my OH. Within minutes he was complaining that he is just so damn fertile, he wishes he had no sperm!