How would you deal with my Sister in Law

[MrsSB]

So my daughter and nephew are in the same class at school. For the second year in a row my dd has not been invited to her cousins party but her friends have been. I invited my nephew in her class but not his other siblings to try and set a presidence that she invited my dd in class but not my other kids but low and behold she has done it again and not invited my dd. To add salt in wound when i only invited nephew in dd class they brought their other child along and i had to pay for him even though he wasnt invited. What would u do if your dd was upset and in my situation. I also work with my brother in law ( dad off nephew), he is my youngest dd godfather and every time they want something they come running to us eg look after pets, check on house while on holiday etc. Fuming. Need advice asap. Thank you for your comments in advance

 

[HLx]

I'd be so upset with this! I have no advice for you really but if that was my children id be gutted for them! When we have parties, the class gets invited, plus family members, and as your sister in laws kids are family and one being in class gosh they'd all definitely be invited. I don't know what I'd do but I'd probably have to just ask her why the others are not invited as they are family. I'm sorry I'm not of much help

 

[MrsSB]

Thank you anyway for your reply, we do everything for them, and this is 2nd year this has happened. Just furious. I can either ignore and not invite my nephew but all his friends who my dd plays with or go mad now. She is a gp as well so hardly skint and her husband get about same as her per month. Just furious

 

[Scout]

Since it's family, I'd have no problem asking what was up. Are the cousins friends? I know they are in the same class; do they play together? That would be my deciding factor on inviting the nephew to your dd's party. Assuming this is hubby's sister or brother? Maybe he can ask?? I'd need some kind of explanation just to get it off my chest as I'd be mad too.

 

[BabyGirl999]

Are they actually friends and do they play together? Is this your sisters kids?

 

[morri]

My kid and her cousins have never been on each others(school) birthdays, friends and family are kept separate here.(they all see at their grandmas place or if we meet them) I think inviting a whole class is ridiculous, who has the money and space and patience to provide for 18 kids. My kid is always allowed to invite as many kids as her age since she had her first party. Have you ever talked to your Sil about how to handle birthdays ?

 

[pink_phoenix]

She sounds a bit of an a hole.
If it was me id be stuck between 2 options all depending on how petty or annoyed i was feeling

You could either play her at her own game, turn up at the party and ( not so ) kindly remind her that shes been to your LO's party un invited if shes not happy about it

Or

Speak to her about how shes upsetting your LO
Its all well and good being self centred and iggnorant when it comes to other adults but when it comes to children there is no excuse what so ever.
If she doesnt know shes upsetting your little one she cant remedy it. But if shes made awear and continues to act so disgustingly id cut her off. Dont invite any of her kids to future parties. And make a point of telling her she isnt welcome so dont turn up with kids in tow expecting you to foot the bill

Family can litterally be the worst

 

[noon_child]

I think inviting a whole class is ridiculous, who has the money and space and patience to provide for 18 kids.

Only 18? There's 30 in a class where I live!!

You just have to tell them how much it upsets your child; if they don't know they can't change it. You may have to be prepared for them to tell you that their child just prefers other people and wants them at his party instead. Not everyone has the same views about who should and shouldn't be automatically invited. My mum forced me to invite loads of relatives, that I'm not close to and never really see, to my wedding because "It's what you do" - I didn't spend any time talking to them or having fun with them because we are literally strangers. It wasn't the end of the world having them there, it didn't cause a problem, but it was additional cost and it irritated me that on the one day that was supposed to be about me and my husband it became about "What will people think?....Isn't it a bit rude?...How will we explain it if we don't?...". They may feel that on his Birthday he gets to invite who he likes because there are plenty of opportunities to play with his cousin at family events etc.