How would you deal with this ??

[MummyMandi]

Ladies I need your help
How would you deal with this situation

My mum is ill she has cancer she is currently in remission but it's still there so were still keeping a close eye
I have 2 kids ages 2 and 3 and I'm currently pregnant and my husband works nights so sometime so go stay at my parents house with the kids to help mum and dad and to let the kids spend time with them for abit they love it there also I don't go out much so this is like a nice break for me too in a way.... But my 26 year old brother and his girlfriend live there and put it this way...., they aren't too happy when the kids stay as the kids play and they say they make a lot of noise and they have work .... Yet they sit watching TV til all hours and then get up for work early the other night they went out for a meal and drinks that me and my husband bought them for Christmas they seemed pretty tipsy/drunk and his girlfriend had work at 8am the next day and my daughter was up with a cold and a sore throat crying around 1am but it couldn't be helped but they always have something to say about it his girlfriend stomped around getting ready for work and slammed the door when she left (will be in a mood coz of being woken up) many times she has said terrible things to my parents and they barely bother with the kids when it comes to birthdays and Christmas they spoil them there great that way but they will say hi and chat the odd time then sit in the room when they get in and stay there til they go out..... Please tell me am I being petty or are they?? They nit pick at every single thing and my parents even say is your brother in I say yeah and my dad will go oh god lower the TV then they have work tomorrow !! It's like 8pm or something !! It's just stilly! Please let me know what u think of this ? I understand they work but I am the one who does a lot for my parents and I have no choice but to bring my kids plus the fact I take them because they love it there !! But his girlfriend just has too much to say she doesn't even speak to anyone in the house ugh I even made this girl a bridesmaid of mine to feel more part of the family as I don't like to think anyone's feeling left out or unsettled ugh it's just awkward let me know what u think please am I wrong staying there while they work though they moan too when they aren't working and I stay ..... or are they the ones being petty?

 

[LoraLoo]

I can see both sides.

For a childless couple, being woke up by kids is annoying. There's no skirting around it- kids are noisy, and they can be a pain in the backside, especially when their not your own 😉

How many nights do you stay at your parents?

Could you find ways to make it a happy medium- suggest a family movie night, or board games night with a couple of drinks, try and get interacting a bit more?

 

[Rhiannon137]

I can't tell for sure from the original post, but it sounds like this is your parents' house and they allow your brother and his girlfriend to stay there out of kindness? If so, then it's really just your parents' opinion that matters. If they enjoy having you and your kids come around, then that's all that matters.

Take reasonable means to calm and quiet your children as appropriate, but try not to worry about the girlfriend's attitude. Just respond with never-ending pleasantness. It's not always easy, but you really never regret being the bigger person in a situation like this.

 

[LaughOutLoud]

I don't think I'd be comfortable going round and staying with my children on a long term thing if that was their attitude. Sometimes it can't be helped but if they always like this then I wouldn't want to be there. I can understand your mum is ill so can she come stay at yours? It's a horrible situation but I don't think I'd be able to put up with it. May be your parents can have a chat with them if it's their house?

 

[hanni]

I also stay at my parents sometimes with my son, and my brother who also lives there and works nights is always there. If he dared whinge about any noise Dominic makes my whole family would tell him straight.
It's not his or her house, you've got just as much right to be there as he does if your parents are inviting you to stay. It's solely up to your parents. His girlfriend sounds like a right spoilt brat! Ignore them both and carry on staying. Imagine storming around someone else's house in a huff when they're letting you live there! She needs to grow up.
My brother is always thrilled to see his nephew and always comes out to see him and spend time with him while we're there. He never whinges about the noise. We try our best to he quiet but it just doesn't happen with a busy house and a baby. If Dominics having a particularly bad night and he's off he'll come and ask if I need anything and get things for me.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

The way I see it, it's NOT your brother's house, it's your parent's house. So why shouldn't you have just as much right to be there as your brother (and his girlfriend)? He's 26 years old; if he doesn't like the way your parents do things (letting you and the kids stay over), he can always move out.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I agree with the above posters in the sense that it is your parents house and if it was me personally then it would be their opinions that mattered. If they are ok with it then you have as much right as they do to be staying there.

 

[joeybrooks]

I agree with the other posters. Assuming I have read the post right, your parents allow your brother and his girlfriend to live in their home. If that is the case, then it is their home, their rules, their daughter and their grandchildren and if you want to visit and they are happy for you to do so, then if they dont like it, they can move out or just lump it.

The girlfriend sounds like a right madam, I wouldnt dream of behaving like that in someone elses home. From your parents POV, it can be difficult when you have to live with someone and they are moaning about things, sometimes it is easier to just keep the situation calm and give into them (such as turning the TV down etc).

Have you spoke to your parents about this. I think they need to tell your brother and his GF that their attitudes are making you uncomfortable and that if they want to continue to live their, they need to understand that it is a house with grandchildren that visit and that are welcome and they need to put up with it or consider their options!!!

 

[iakyri]

I'll answer this two ways, depending on the situation:

#1: If this is your parents house and your brother and his girlfriend are not paying rent/have no real reason to call it "their house" (i.e. living there rent/responsibility free:

If that's the case, then they have no reason to be saying ANYTHING. As long as your parents approve of the situation and don't have a problem with it, don't even bother feeling bad about it.

#2: If they are renting part of the house, or contributing to the household and/or staying there to also help out with your parents:

If that's the case, they definitely have a say in what's going on at the house and you should be respecting their wishes just as much as the wishes of your parents.

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I think, if they don't like it, at their age they could I don't know grow the hell up and move the hell out!

It isn't their house, I'm assuming their not paying the bills therefore if your parents are happy to have you and the children there then who cares what your brother and his girlfriend think.