I randomly saw this post and I came from Third Trimester to hopefully give a little hope to your situation. Sorry, if I do not belong.
I just want to say that I was in your situation for the most part. First off, OH and I have been together for 9 years this month and have been married for 7. He is a good man overall. OH and I got married at the two year mark of dating because of a situation (not pregnancy) and had to move in together. He didn't seem to thrilled about that. Every time I would bring up babies, he would put off the subject or just say 'yea, we'll have them eventually' or 'they'll come when they come' or just dismissive comments like that and wouldn't want to talk about it any further. In the last two years I got a little more desperate because I felt he really didn't want to move our relationship further. He started saying, 'eh, we'll try in two years or so'. At least it was a time frame though, right? Whereas there had never been one.
So I started college and forgot about it (not really, but I just let it go for a little while) and then wound up pregnant in March of this year while on birth control. I had to drop out of my semester due to complications and it took several months for him to really get into it.
He just seemed so disconnected, almost like it wasn't really happening until he saw the ultrasound and saw that the baby had parts and a face (this was at 25 weeks that he finally went). After that he started warming up to the idea and started bringing home little items for the baby that he looked for.
Now he is in full baby mode and is excited. He wants this baby now. He began helping with the name at 28 weeks and we decided on one two or so weeks ago. He goes shopping with me for baby stuff all the time too now.
I think it just takes men time to warm up to the idea of a baby, even if it is impending and going to happen. Not all men are the same though, some are just assholes (pardon my language). Hopefully, once he realizes that there is a little baby growing inside of you (when you conceive) he'll begin to warm up to the idea like my OH did. My fingers and toes are crossed for you. Good luck hun!
Again apologies if I am out of place here, I just wanted to share my story and wish you luck.