Husband is infertile...

[missk1989]

I didn't know where to post this but I really need to get it out there before it eats me up...
DH and I were due to go to a fertility clinic on Monday and do some tests in the hope of starting IVF. We were offered the sperm test on the NHS and it saved us £100 so did it. The doctor rang on Friday and told DH that he has NO sperm. When TTC DS we had a test done and there were very very few sperm and all of poor quality but we got our miracle 6 weeks later so this had never even crossed my mind.

How do I even begin to process this without falling apart? I should be grateful that I was fortunate enough to carry and give birth to my son but instead I am mourning the loss of any future experiences. No pregnancy, no BF, no birthing, no newborn. I Just cant come to terms with it. I am so distraught.

I cant put into words how i feel right now. I cant see how to move on from this. I feel like I am grieving for a child I lost and no one will understand. I am 25 and will never have another child of my own.

Sorry to be so depressing I just needed to vent somewhere.

 

[rebecca822]

All you need is 1 sperm. Are they sure there are no sperm anywhere? Maybe he has retrograde ejaculation?
I would make an appt with a urologist to see if he really has NO sperm.
Sorry that's a tough situation to be in

 

[maidenkates]

Hi MissK1989! Don't apologize for being depressing, we all are I feel that it is a perk of the anonymity of the internet... People that aren't normally able to share feelings, can.
I want you to know that I completely understand the shock of hearing zero after having a child with the same man already.... The feeling is indescribable and I am so sorry you have to go through this.
My DHs fertility issue came after he had a hernia surgery that gave him an accidental vasectomy, we were devestated when they told us he had azoospermia after we had been trying for a year for #2. We found out in February of this year and still aren't at peace with it yet, I keep thinking I am and then someone else I am close to will have their baby or get pregnant etc. it will be a long road to recovery but I have been thinking of all the positives of having one child over and over again when I get upset, it has helped a little. Good luck and try to keep your chin up XO

 

[missk1989]

Thanks ladies. He had un-descended testicles when born and they were left in the body too long before operating. His sperm was poor 4 years ago and now it is gone. The doctor said this was consistent with the condition.
I don't think it is going to change this time so we are looking into adoption but even that is proving hard. Because of the age of our son we would only be able to take a child under 12 months and apparently no one is recruiting adopters for this age range right now. Currently dying a little inside

 

[maidenkates]

I am so sorry to hear that. I understand in a way. My husband's VR didn't work, and that's all the money and energy we had, so it's moving on time. How do we move on? How do we give up the desire for the family we want? I think only time will tell. Good luck love XO

 

[LilFooshFoosh]

Sorry to hear of both your situations. IF is devastating no matter the circumstaces.

Have you considered donor sperm?

 

[missk1989]

I am so sorry to hear that. I understand in a way. My husband's VR didn't work, and that's all the money and energy we had, so it's moving on time. How do we move on? How do we give up the desire for the family we want? I think only time will tell. Good luck love XO

I'm sorry to hear you are in the same position.

We wouldn't consider donor sperm. DH would be devastated to think I would be carrying a baby that biologically would not be his. He wouldn't even consider the idea of me donating my eggs for cheaper treatment. We cannot afford it anyway at full cost.

I'm happy with the decision to adopt if I can find an agency to take us on.

 

[nnaime]

I am so sorry that you had to hear this news.
Adoption is a beautiful thing, I hope you get a miracle