Husband let's LO watch TV constantly! Please help!

[CarliCareBear]

so there was a lot of discussion on here recently about the effect of TV on infants. my husband and I have always liked the TV on in the background but ever since I started reading the research about the effect of TV on infants under 2 I think it should always be off when the baby is around.

I keep the TV off at all times when I'm with the baby but my husband will not turn the TV off or stop playing with her in front of the TV 24-7. it is on ALL the time. he doesn't let her "watch" it on purpose but the TV is SO HUGE and there is no way she cannot see it out of the corner of her eye and she is always trying to glance at it and the sound constantly bombards her. Now she even constantly tries to glance at the screen when the TV is off cause she knows where to look!!

I know that he pays far less attention to her with it on (and it is ALWAYS on) and I know she sees it all the time. With all the glances combined she is probably getting hours worth of TV time. I am so PETRIFIED OF THIS. I know it is SO bad for her and it takes away from their quality play time.

How do I get my husband to stop?! We have a male roommate so it makes it even harder as it's two against one. I showed him all the research but he ignores me thinking that as long as she doesn't directly stare at it it's not doing any damage.

Please help- any advice is welcome. I can't let this keep happening but I can't watch her alone by myself constantly!!

 

[bumpbear]

Take baby to another room. Perhaps he'll miss her enough to turn it off?

Having said that, my little sister would scream blue murder if she didn't have Telly tubbies on 24/7 from the age of about 14 months. She's just passed her GCSEs with straight A*s so clearly didn't do her any harm!

 

[Indigo77]

Accidentally break the TV!

 

[sandilion]

Please explain why it is "SO so bad"

I guess it depends on what your LO is being allowed to watch .. I have a rule that there is to be no blood and gore, scary or swear words. Otherwise i am happy for LO to see what's on the TV, I make sure he does lots of other things as well but I still fail to understand why TV is classed as the devil with babies.

???

My LO absolutely loves the tellytubbies and all of the Baby Einstein movies. he also likes it when i put it on the music video channels.

 

[CarliCareBear]

i never thought it was a big deal either until i sat down and did some research on it and it really opened my eyes. i was used to having my TV on all the time but i just can't ignore all the scientific evidence. besides from all the research i also began to notice that my husband and i are subcosciously less attentive and vocal when the TV is on.

here's just a few links i found:

https://pyjamaschool.wordpress.com/crunchy-stuff/children-and-television/

https://seattlemamadoc.seattlechildrens.org/what-does-tv-do-to-my-kids-brain/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2054950/Passive-TV-watching-harm-babies-speech.html

https://archpedi.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=381618

https://abs.sagepub.com/content/48/5/562.abstract

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18717911

 

[MrsButterfly]

My dad was always a telly addict and I remember watching a lot when I was small (still love it now...). I've always been absolutely fine (at least I think so!). I agree with a pp and ensure something suitable is on the tv if its on while lo is around but other than that I don't worry about it. He doesn't "watch" it for very long but it is useful if I need a few minutes to make a bottle up or something.

 

[Bex84]

I think the main problem with tv it does not encourage you to be interactive. The tv is barley on in our house in day but she may have the odd programme and we will sing along and talk about what we can see. My dh watches tv when he gets back from work. My rule is no adult tv which is inapropriate. I think as long as you talk to her lots and interact she will be fine it is passive tv watching which would effect them as they need speech with facial expression and body language. Try set good example your dh will soon see your baby interacts with you better or make him have only children tv in background and see how long till it drives him mad. Could he not listen to music instead or the radio. My lo takes very little notice of tv. I usually only have it on a programme for me when she is asleep.

 

[bigbetty]

I've always had the tv on and it's usually pre-school programming so there is suitable content, but I never made a focus of it and rarely sat with her in front of it. Francesca is so active though that she rarely sits and watches it but she absolutely loves dancing to the theme tunes and has learnt so much from listening to them - educational shows about numbers and letters are her favourites. She has learnt so many words, counting, letters and a little sign language from them that I'm happy to continue the way we are. We do have time with it off and either silence or music on in the background and of course we go out a lot too so it's not a constant companion.

That being said I think your husband should take your concerns more seriously but as your daughter's other parent he should have a say too - perhaps a compromise could be reached?

 

[Bex84]

I will add i grew up with tv addict parents and im ok as pp said. I still played plenty outside and used alot of imagination. Maybe see if you can just reduce time sat in front of it.

 

[Sunshine12]

Have to say I personally wouldnt be petrified (Ive got the TV on 24-7 in my house and if she wants to watch it then I just leave her to it. She watches what Im watching.) Fully appreciate not everyone feels the same as me though so if you arent happy with it then Id just tell him that he needs to reduce the length of time its on. x

 

[2016]

I wouldn't worry if I were you...depending what was on the telly of course. I always swore my son would NEVER watch telly. Then I got pregnant with #2 and couldn't move round very much due to severe hyperemisis/SPD/sciatica and risk of preterm labour. So he ended up watching rather a lot of telly. By rather a lot I'm guessing about 2-3 hours a day. I only ever put on cbeebies which has NO adverts and a fair few educational programs. His speech is excellent - says easily over 300 recognisable words (even things like combine harvester and weather vane!) speaks in sentences, counts to 10, can read a dozen words. He is very imaginitive, social, plays nicely with others and isnt agressive.
He does get read to a lot too though - at least 2 hours a day....and goes to a Playgroup or has a play date almost every day.

He does love the telly and can request any of the 30 episodes of baby jake by name...but sometimes he's just not bothered by the telly and will turn it off if he's had enough.

I grew up with friends whose parents restricted telly and sweets and the only thing they ever wanted to do if given the chance was watch telly and eat junk!

 

[maidelyn]

It depends on how interactive you are with your child on how it will affect them. If you let them watch it non stop and don't stimulate them then yes it's going to ****** their development. If they watch the odd show, especially if you interact with them during it, then it will make no difference. My 6 wk old is fascinated by the moving shapes and colours so I think it's a better stimulus for him than his mobile when I need to cook dinner or distract him!

 

[babybrums]

Who thinks to study this stuff? Too bad they don't spend as much time and moneylooking for a cure for cancer

If letting your LO watch tv is bad then I'm up for worst mother of the year. I have cartoons on all day. He doesn't spend his whole day watching them but he does pay attention now and then, especially when he hears the theme songs for his favorite shows. Plopping him down in front of the tv and not interacting with him is one thing but I don't see any harm in having the tv on if he's being stimulated in other ways.

 

[ChristinaG]

those "studies" talk about children and adolescents, not babies...secondly, there are worse things to be worried about at 4 months than babies getting 'glimpses' of tv.


I wouldn't worry too much about it. I've read through those articles and there doesn't seem to be much conclusive evidence. Some circumstantial evidence, maybe, but nothing to hang your hat on.

 

[robinator]

Please explain why it is "SO so bad"
I guess it depends on what your LO is being allowed to watch .. I have a rule that there is to be no blood and gore, scary or swear words. Otherwise i am happy for LO to see what's on the TV, I make sure he does lots of other things as well but I still fail to understand why TV is classed as the devil with babies.

???

My LO absolutely loves the tellytubbies and all of the Baby Einstein movies. he also likes it when i put it on the music video channels.

In this case it sounds like it's not necessarily the TV programming itself, but rather the distraction of OH that it causes. When my DH gives dd her dinnertime bottle, he's on his iPhone constantly, not even looking her in the eye (he sits her in his legs so she's facing him). Drives me nuts.

Babies pick up when they are not the most important thing and over time it can effect self esteem. Especially when it's their own parent who isn't giving them the time of day (because they are distracted by the TV/iPhone, etc.)

But OP, it is a hard habit to break. Tell him your fears that you think she's picking up on his distraction. Make it about her, not about him.

 

[bumpy_j]

i never thought it was a big deal either until i sat down and did some research on it and it really opened my eyes. i was used to having my TV on all the time but i just can't ignore all the scientific evidence. besides from all the research i also began to notice that my husband and i are subcosciously less attentive and vocal when the TV is on.

here's just a few links i found:

https://pyjamaschool.wordpress.com/crunchy-stuff/children-and-television/

isn't that freckleonears blog FAMOUS !

I somewhat understand what you're going through - I live in my OHs dads house and the TV is on all day, I regret letting my LO watch it when he was a baby as much as he did hugely although he is still a very bright and aware boy. We have recently issued a kids TV ban on him to speed up his speech. I can't really control the TV being off when anyone else is watching it though as it's not my house and it's too small to take him elsewhere (his room hasn't been finished yet). Also whenever I tell them off for watching something scary infront of him they laugh at me and tell me he doesn't know whats going on in it that makes me super mad because I'm someone who still has severe anxiety problems being alone in a house due to what I reckon was my mum watching scary things infront of me all the time when I was little.

 

[mommy0629]

I think this gets blown out of proportion and honestly some of those "studies" are a little rediculous. We have our TV on all the time and did when my ds was a baby and toddler too. I've always let him watch baby einstein DVDs (and I've put one on for lo), Sesame street etc. and he's very inteligent and has a vocabulary that can be astonishing at times for his age. We were watching something recently and he was in the room and there was a picture of the Eifel Tower, my 7 year old said "hey, that's the Eifle Tower" Now, I homeschool and that's not something that we've talked about yet so I asked him how he knew that. Know what he told me? "I saw it on Tom & Jerry". I'm not saying you should use TV to educate your children, but I honestly don't think it causes harm as long as it's only part of their day. It's when it almost completely replaces other interactions and activities that it becomes an issue, but that's when it's really excessive.

 

[susan_1981]

I always have the TV on in my house. It was the same when I was growing up. I even had a TV in my room from a young age. It's never done me any harm. I don't believe half of those studies. The only time I think it's a problem is if you are using it as a way to baby sit your child and not interacting with them. As I said, my TV is always on but my LO barely watches it. He's happier playing with his toys.

To be honest, I think there is far too much information out there now days. There's going to come a point that we won't be able to do anything enjoyable for fear of damaging our health.

 

[AP]

Im another one who has it on whenever we are in the house and the kids dont care for it unless its something specifically for them.

 

[Mrs_X]

i have TV on for music, and do put babytv or baby jake on but in moderation. he gets lots of stimulation off me and my hubby, we regulary go out to groups and soft play and read alot of books. i dont see an issue personally x