Husband let's LO watch TV constantly! Please help!

[Larkspur]

It sort of amazes me that so many people dismiss wide-ranging studies and medical recommendations about the negative effects of television so cavalierly based on a personal data field of one or two.

Can you get your husband to take her out for walks rather than playing at home? That would get them both away from the TV, and give you a proper break. Otherwise I would just start removing and hiding the power cord or remote until your husband decides to behave like an adult, discuss the issue, and come to some kind of reasonable compromise.

 

[baby287]

I always seen to have tv on in the background! He doesn't watch it but its on...is it horribly bad? I didn't realize!

 

[ChristinaG]

It sort of amazes me that so many people dismiss wide-ranging studies and medical recommendations about the negative effects of television so cavalierly based on a personal data field of one or two.

Can you get your husband to take her out for walks rather than playing at home? That would get them both away from the TV, and give you a proper break. Otherwise I would just start removing and hiding the power cord or remote until your husband decides to behave like an adult, discuss the issue, and come to some kind of reasonable compromise.

It amazes me that so many people pick and choose which studies to follow blindly because they have .edu or .org at the end of their address

 

[Larkspur]

It sort of amazes me that so many people dismiss wide-ranging studies and medical recommendations about the negative effects of television so cavalierly based on a personal data field of one or two.

Can you get your husband to take her out for walks rather than playing at home? That would get them both away from the TV, and give you a proper break. Otherwise I would just start removing and hiding the power cord or remote until your husband decides to behave like an adult, discuss the issue, and come to some kind of reasonable compromise.

It amazes me that so many people pick and choose which studies to follow blindly because they have .edu or .org at the end of their address

Yes, I'm sure that's what the AAP does.

 

[robinator]

People pick the studies that support their personal choices and disregard all others, no matter how reputable they might be.

BF vs FF
TV vs no TV
tummy sleeping vs back sleeping
tummy time vs. no tummy time
bedsharing vs. own room

The list never ends.

 

[liz1985]

If you google you will find 'evidence' to support anything. If you searched I'm sure there would be some evidence as to why tv is good for babies/children. It's good to do research but not everything should be taken as gospel.

I let LO watch a little tv, he usually watches 'in the night garden' every night. I do try not to have the tv on in the day but that's because I think we interact with LO better not because I think it will harm him.

At the end of the day it's your child but its also OHs. Maybe try to come up with a compromise.

 

[Sunshine12]

It sort of amazes me that so many people dismiss wide-ranging studies and medical recommendations about the negative effects of television so cavalierly based on a personal data field of one or two.

Can you get your husband to take her out for walks rather than playing at home? That would get them both away from the TV, and give you a proper break. Otherwise I would just start removing and hiding the power cord or remote until your husband decides to behave like an adult, discuss the issue, and come to some kind of reasonable compromise.

I dont dismiss them, I just dont read them. Im sure there have been studies done on almost everything and if we read every single one and listened to every single one we would be too scared to actually have children in the first place. Im fairly sure that watching telly as a baby (or a toddler for that matter) wont do her any harm. Besides, my LO likes watching Uncle Jeremy every morning when Im sat with my feet up on my laptop drinking tea and eating chocolate.

 

[Larkspur]

I dont dismiss them, I just dont read them. Im sure there have been studies done on almost everything and if we read every single one and listened to every single one we would be too scared to actually have children in the first place. Im fairly sure that watching telly as a baby (or a toddler for that matter) wont do her any harm.

I don't know, it seems like that's precisely why institutions like the WHO and AAP exist... To follow the research and make recommendations so you don't have to read every study ever done. And if they recommend no television before two years of age, it does seem like there must be some reasonable middle ground between assuming having the television on all day is fine because your kid learned how to spell cat from Sesame Street, and refusing to have kids because its too hard to prevent them from catching a single glimpse of the set before they turn two.

 

[robinator]

having the television on all day is fine because your kid learned how to spell cat from Sesame Street,

Sorry but that made me laugh. See? All the AAP recommendations just went out the window

 

[CarliCareBear]

firstly, i genuinely appreciate everyone's input in here so thank you for the advice and thoughts.

i really am talking about this from the perspective that i notice my dh and myself are not nearly as attentive as we could be when there's a giant TV in our face. i think everyone has the right to make their own decisions about their families TV habits and if you make your decisions based on personal data (your own experience or someone you know) that makes sense and i understand that. i also believe some TV time, especially for children over the age of 2 is totally fine.

however, i do find it odd that all of the research that i listed is written off by many of you. i most certainly didn't "pick and choose" what research i wanted to listen to. these are only a FEW of the many articles i have found on this. i went looking for positive research and i kept coming back to find negative outcomes. not to mention i asked my pediatrician and he only agreed with the research.

i'm sorry my OP sounded so dramatic- i am a first time mom so these things are of course freaking me out more than they should. even so, if you have your TV on all the time or your LO watches some- i don't think you are a bad mum! i just think it doesn't work well for my family. thanks for reminding me to relax a little.

 

[ChristinaG]

When I searched : Benefits of Television in young children, there is a miriad of support (supports family time, provides exposure to new worlds & different cultures, provides inspiration, language exposure and social surrogacy) - and it didnt take me very long to find it,

That being said, OP, if you feel like you can't be as attentive to your LO while the TV is on, then by all means keep it off: cancel the cable, hide the wire, break a plug - especially if you can't get OH on board

I think this post got WAAAAAYYYY off topic from what you originally asked, and I apologize.

 

[princess_1991]

My tv is always on!
I read through those links and there wasn't much conclusive evidence at all!
I won't let my LO watch violence and gore etc but we havent got the kids channels either (I don't see the need in ordering them yet while she is so young but definately will when she gets a bit older)
However she LOVES come dine with me

I did have to laugh when reading the part about tv and adverts making kids demand things while shopping etc, to me that's down to me as a parent to say no to anything she demands that's unhealthy! If she starts demanding the fruit from asda that's being advertised as a pound a punnet then Who am i to complain

 

[robinator]

When I searched : Benefits of Television in young children, there is a miriad of support (supports family time, provides exposure to new worlds & different cultures, provides inspiration, language exposure and social surrogacy) - and it didnt take me very long to find it,

When I searched consequences of TV in kids under 2, there is a myriad of support: likelihood of obesity, no comprehension (thus no "educational" tv), sleep problems, impaired concentration, impaired social interaction, slower speech development, links to ADHD, less parental bonding - and it didn't take me very long to find it.

There is such a thing as secondhand TV - when it's on all day and you think no one is watching - your kiddo is.


OP, have you had a chance to talk to him yet, or think about what you will do?

 

[ChristinaG]

When I searched : Benefits of Television in young children, there is a miriad of support (supports family time, provides exposure to new worlds & different cultures, provides inspiration, language exposure and social surrogacy) - and it didnt take me very long to find it,

When I searched consequences of TV in kids under 2, there is a myriad of support: likelihood of obesity, no comprehension (thus no "educational" tv), sleep problems, impaired concentration, impaired social interaction, slower speech development, links to ADHD, less parental bonding - and it didn't take me very long to find it.

exactly my point: there is circumstantial evidence supporting both sides, and they are equally accessible. I was trying to show pp that just because they found a lot of research against it, doesn't mean that its valid - just that its there.

 

[Larkspur]

When I searched : Benefits of Television in young children, there is a miriad of support (supports family time, provides exposure to new worlds & different cultures, provides inspiration, language exposure and social surrogacy) - and it didnt take me very long to find it,

Funny, I did that same Google search and pretty much everything that came up supported the idea that TV for kids under 2 has no benefit, and that any benefit for kids over 2 comes from quality educational programming. Everything else seemed to be random articles by Yahoo 'writers' and research funded by television networks. I would be very interested to read the scholarly articles you refer to that demonstrate benefits of television to infants.

 

[rebeccalouise]

I don't see the problem with having the TV on & letting LO watch it? I grew up watching a lot of TV & I'm fine. I used to have my favourite programmes that I loved as a child. our TV Is always on, even if we're not watching it, I like to have some sort of background noise. I think those studies are a little OTT. I don't let my LO watch it all day everyday, obviously we go out & play together but I will have cbeebies on in the morning whilst we have breakfast & for about half an hour in the afternoon (she loves baby Jake!).

anyway, we all have different opinions & if you're really against letting your LO watch it, speak to your OH about it.

 

[CarliCareBear]

okay, so I am STILL having constant problems with this!! Our flat mate wakes up at 6:30 am and turns the TV on and sits in front of it literally all day. I have continuously sent my husband research and articles that clearly say TV isn't the best thing for babies under 2 yet he refuses to do anything about it or acknowledge it's a problem.

every time I bring it up he says, "fine then you get up and watch her yourself!!"- he only watches her in the morning on the weekends and allows me to sleep in a little which I think is good for bonding time- BUT HE WILL NOT TURN THE DAMN TV OFF.

it is seriously making me crazy! i know i shouldn't worry a ton about "glances" but you have to realize she get's 5 glances every few minutes so it has to add up to an obscene amount of screen time.

I just wish he could freaking enjoy her without the damn TV on- why should she have to constantly fight for attention? it's so sad.

 

[LDC]

Have you suggested things that your OH can do with LO? I know my OH struggles at the minute as he doesn't know what to "do" with LO as she's so small, can't really do anything yet and gets bored easily.

Because he works too he doesn't really do the trial and error things that I've done with her to see what she likes and doesn't, I think ame of it is feeling pressure from LO being a little happier around me.

I know he'll pick up the pace when LO can crawl and move about as he will be able to chase her around and interact with her more.

Could this be the same for your OH? You could suggest that he takes her for a walk in her pram or something?

Xx

 

[MeAndMyShadow]

Back in 1983 when I was just a wee baby, Mom would have the t.v. on all the time, and I watched my fair share of Sesame Street! And you know what, I turned out totally fine, well for the most part lol. Now there is such emphasis and studies on everything, but at the end of the day, it's not as bad as you think! x

 

[kimberleyrobx]

Our TV is always on although I never watch my programmes while Emily is awake e.g eastenders and scary movies... During the day it's always either BabyTV, TinyPop or we watch Disney films, Emily loves mega mind right now, toy story and shrek! Although while the tv is on she doesn't actually watch it all the time, it's more background noise than anything xx