Husband never compliments me :(

[Glowbug]

Now don't get me wrong. He is so sweet tO me. Rubs my feet all the time.
He is a good husband. But he literally never compliments me.
I tell him how Hansom he is but he very very rarely says I'm pretty or look nice that day. Been pueking for a week. Feeling gross. But today were going to church and he cant even say I look nice.

I know this is a stupid thread but I wish he would Say I look nice every once in a while!

 

[nightwings]

have you just tried outwardly telling him exactly how you feel?

Remember communication is Key, don't make it sound like you are accusing or blaming, just tell him how you feel. That really is the best way to get it out there for him. Sometimes guys just need a bit of the obvious

 

[Heather1]

I am so glad you posted this because I just went through the exact thing with my OH! I was direct about it and my exact words were along the lines of:

"I feel like being pregnant has made me feel less attractive. My body is changing, everything feels big and wobbly and weird and I feel horrible and sick almost all day. On top of feeling hideous to myself, I have been struggling lately with feeling undesirable and unattractive to you too. I know that you love me and think I am beautiful, and I am sorry if I am being high-maintenance or insecure, but it would do me a lot of good to hear some words of reassurance to get me through these next few weeks as I feel anything but beautiful, but for whatever reason, I feel like I need to be seen that way by you right now more than I ever have."

Lo and behold? He has complimented me first thing in the morning every day since that talk and it makes me wake up with a smile on my face and extra pep in my step!

I recommend the direct route. Men are so far less complicated than us women and sometimes subtle hints just don't reap the results we want.

Remember that you are probably so incredibly beautiful to him right now!! You are carrying that man's child and he just might not be able to find the words to express his gratitude! Xo

 

[KathrynW]

I totally agree!

Whenever I say I feel horrible or something to my DH, he responds with "oh right." Which just comes across as though he can't be bothered! x

 

[Babee_Bugs]

I wish he would just stop calling Me fatty!!!

hes on a getting healthy regime thing, and hes slimmed down and is getting toned... GRRRRRRRR...

makes me sooooooo bloody paranoid and down with the way my body is looking, especially when he compares...

But after 2 children and being together for 8 years, i know what to expect from him.. lol

 

[rockabillymom]

My Dh hasnt said complimented me since I found out I was pregnant. I think men just can be weird sometimes. He did it my whole last pregnancy too.

 

[Glowbug]

Thanks girls. I should have calmed down and sweetly told him how I felt. Instead I glared at him and was like thank you for never ever saying I look nice EVER!!!!!
Haha. I'll do better next time

 

[nightwings]

awww that's ok, it's just been a feeling that's been building up for so long that it reached the boiling point and you reacted in a negative way

the best way to prevent a problem from happening is to approach it right away, the moment you start feeling the way you did, sit down and talk with your hubby.

My husband and I haven't been married very long, so some might say I don't have any merit, but i've found that the best thing to do when there is an issue or disagreement is just as I said above, communication, get it out there right away, don't bury it and let it stew over time, because that's when the arguements happen.

Just my observation as my husband and I grow and learn together

though now whenever there is an arguement about to form, we just start hysterically laughing at each other...and then we talk about it ...not sure why we laugh...we just do, but it sure does kill the tension and make talking about the issue at hand so much calmer.

 

[jenniferttc1]

First I wanted to say congrats on your pregnancy! I remember talking to you a few times during ttc and my pregnancy I recognize your screen name.
Have you told him how you felt about never getting compliment? It might help to open up a bit and let him know this really brings you down

 

[minties]

Do you tend to disagree with him? "Oh are you kidding? I look awefull today!" That kind of thing...?

Mine stopped complimenting me when I kept doing that.

 

[urchin]

Heather is absolutely spot on - men don't do subtle hints; if you need something from them, you have to tell them directly (and preferably not at the time you need them to do it - or it comes out all critical)

With a female friend, if you confided in her that you feel unattractive, pound to a penny, every time you see her after that she will tell you how great you look

With a bloke, they will tell you there and then not to be silly (which you are being, if you look at it logically) and think that it's all sorted!

Heather's speech is absolutely the right approach; she told him what the problem was (I feel unattractive) she told him the reason (because I'm wobbly and insecure i.e. not because he's done something bad) and what he can do to make it better (tell me I look good, and not just one time - keep telling me!)

Men don't function well if there are problems that they don't know how to fix. If they know how to fix it, they are generally happy and make a plan .... sounds like Mr Heather's OH's plan went like this:
Heather unhappy
Heather think unattractive
Man tell every morning Heather look good: Heather feel better - man won't forget to do it!

But if they don't know how to fix it, they kinda go inactive - so the best solution always is to actually tell them what they can do to make it better

xxx

PS, sorry Heather for turning Mr Heather into a caveman!

 

[Heather1]

Heather is absolutely spot on - men don't do subtle hints; if you need something from them, you have to tell them directly (and preferably not at the time you need them to do it - or it comes out all critical)

With a female friend, if you confided in her that you feel unattractive, pound to a penny, every time you see her after that she will tell you how great you look

With a bloke, they will tell you there and then not to be silly (which you are being, if you look at it logically) and think that it's all sorted!

Heather's speech is absolutely the right approach; she told him what the problem was (I feel unattractive) she told him the reason (because I'm wobbly and insecure i.e. not because he's done something bad) and what he can do to make it better (tell me I look good, and not just one time - keep telling me!)

Men don't function well if there are problems that they don't know how to fix. If they know how to fix it, they are generally happy and make a plan .... sounds like Mr Heather's OH's plan went like this:
Heather unhappy
Heather think unattractive
Man tell every morning Heather look good: Heather feel better - man won't forget to do it!

But if they don't know how to fix it, they kinda go inactive - so the best solution always is to actually tell them what they can do to make it better

xxx

PS, sorry Heather for turning Mr Heather into a caveman!

This is the best laugh I have had all day!!! Honestly laughed so hard I teared up (Mr. Heather!! Hilarious!) Sometimes I think of him that way too. He's a caveman, but he's the best of them.

 

[urchin]

lol I think of everyone's OHs on here as Mr Whatever their screen name is!

I call mine Mr Urch on here (and have to remind myself not to do it on facebook too!)