Husband not bought anything for baby-anyone else?

[Yo_Yo]

First of all, dh is a great dad already but this is upsetting me:
Our baby was planned, but he doesn't seem all that interested. Yes he came with me to scans, but he doesn't talk to the bump, hasn't bought anything, doesn't show interest when I tell this weeks baby development from my app, and rarely wants to feel for kicks. He works a demanding job and does long hours. He says this is why he hasn't bought anything-that he just hadn't had time to look for baby things.

Not sure if it's because it's not our first baby? he did those things previous preg.

He just gave me his card and told me to choose everything, which I did, but feel sad he's not bought anything he chose himself. It makes me feel a bit alone it this pregnancy

Has your other half bought anything for baby or not?

 

[jensgt]

We are due with our first on the 28th...and have done all our shopping together. He is happy and excited and he has read to the baby and talked to the baby but he's not where I am...like...he does not think about what the baby will look like or things like that. He was not super anxious to find out the sex of the baby like I was. When we shopped it was mostly me organizing and planning and picking everything out...he seemed a little overwhelmed. I think we get these instincts that kick in so much earlier than theirs does...hard to hold it against them unless they are like totally uninvolved. It's good he comes to the scans and stuff!

 

[Mushymilkfor2]

Mine does all the shopping with me, but refuses to actually buy anything yet. This is our first though and he's super excited to be a dad.

 

[sbl]

I don't think many dad's buy things for baby without moms help. I could be wrong but it's not really most men's forte.

 

[ParisJeTadore]

My dh is a great dad but has never been stellar during the pregnancy period. I can't imagine him ever buying anything for our baby, doesn't talk to my bump hardly at all and offers little sympathy in way of my being pregnant (I don't mean on a daily basis...just when you've had a rough day and need it). All that said, it doesn't bother me at all because I know he loves me very much, it just isn't who he is. Also, I see how he is with our 21 month old and his love and attention simply comes later. Not sure if your dh is similar but if you see him being hands on with your children then you know he cares. Also, some men just don't connect at all with the pregnancy stage. This is very common

 

[tropicsgirl]

I've tried to do some shopping with DH...and it really wasn't much fun. He doesn't like shopping anyway of course so I haven't really expected him to be much into the baby shopping though it'd be nice to have more of his input. DH does talk to my bump sometimes though and I know he's excited (and worried) about becoming a dad. I think most men are just clueless sometimes when it comes to pregnancy and I generally have to LITERALLY tell my DH what I want him to do or else he doesn't have a clue!

 

[auntsas]

Mine hasnt. Actually I am in store looking at baby stuff and my husband drifts off to the electronic s! He does show interest in other ways though...he has attended every appointment since the first. He kisses my prego belly every morning and night. Rarely does he feel for movements.

 

[patchey]

Men are like that. My DH was the same way until just recently. It wasn't until 35 weeks that he took me shopping to buy everything for the baby. We tried for 3 years to have a baby and had every single fertility treatment you could think of before I got pregnant. Now with a month left of pregnancy is when he seems excited, but he still doesn't talk to my bump. I'm sure your DH will come around.

 

[KRae615]

I'm due in one month, and my husband has only gone with me to pick out furniture (crib & changing table). He's helped me decorate the room, too. But he hasn't gone out on his own to buy other random stuff. It doesn't bother me at all, as I'd rather pick out everything anyway. We are very minimalist, so we both feel like we will start off with the "needs" and then go from there. I don't think that because your DH hasn't bought anything means he doesn't care, like pp said, I feel like men don't connect with pregnancy the same way women do.

 

[readynwilling]

im sorta barging in here LOL but this is my 3rd. And my hubby did nothing for any of mine. He didn't come shopping, he didn't help with the registry, he didn't rub my belly, didn't talk to the babies. He came to the 20 week scan and that was it. I think it can be hard for men to always connect to the baby while its still on the inside.

 

[RinnaRoo]

I could have written that. All of it. It's a bummer.

 

[DiamondsR4Eva]

My fiance and I argue about what to get for the baby because this is our first girl (his first child) and we're really excited. I didn't want to fight so I let him pick out all the furniture, car seat, etc. I got to pick out clothes. He talks to my tummy everyday and he even picked out the name himself. The only thing that really upsets me is that he is unwilling to cut the umbilical cord because he is afraid...says he. I just want him to suck it up and just do it but it seems he's not budging. We'll see when the time comes...

 

[DiamondsR4Eva]

Oh, and my friends and I threw a baby shower for HIM and he picked out all the things for the registry. I guess I am opposite from most of you ladies. Well... At least I get to carry, right? My fiance is like the attention whore right now like he's the one pregnant lol. I'm really glad he's participating though 😊

 

[kris85]

my husband was never really involved in our first or this one with regards to buying stuff etc. It's not that he doesn't care about the baby, he's just really not into all that stuff. But doesn't phase me, I'd rather pick it all out myself anyway! He's never been really into the pregnancy stuff either, he'll ask how I feel sometimes but not into all the development stuff or anything, but again it really doesn't bother me, its just the way it is. I even used to get him to feel my belly when I felt kicks so he felt involved but he wasn't that excited lol.

Once our first was born and hubby cried I knew he loved him already so much, and I know this one will be the same. Some men just don't get into all the pregnancy stuff, doesn't mean they love them any less!

 

[ItsJana]

My husband loves going to appointments and things like that, but shopping....ah we are all better off if I do it alone.

 

[MrsT&Ben]

No he hasn't. And I don't want him to! This is our 2nd baby so he was more Involved first time round. If he came home and said ooohhhh look what I bought for baby I'd probably faint from Shock. He was involved in big purchases with baby number 1 but we don't need that stuff this time. Doesn't bother me to be honest! Means i get to buy whatever I want!

 

[leash27]

DH is probably the complete opposite, he is always bringing little things home for LO and we shopped together for the pram, bedding and other big items. In terms of interest in the actual pregnancy, I would say he was a lot more interested the first time around but he is still supportive and looks after me.

X

 

[wookie130]

I really believe that most men don't become fathers until they SEE the baby, and hold that baby for the first time. Their perceptions of what is happening is bound to be different than ours, as they don't experience the physical changes of pregnancy, or the hormonal stuff...so, I suppose to us, it seems like they don't care, or they're somehow disconnected. I know my husband didn't seem to have a clue about any of it until my daughter actually arrived. And then he fell in love. HARD. And now, my little girl is 15 months old, and he is the most engaged, loving father I have ever seen.

Give him a chance. I think once that baby is HERE, he'll prove to you how much he actually does love you both.

 

[kimbob89]

my OH is the same. He is excited about the baby but has never spoken to my bump or really felt for kicks only on a couple of occasions. I've picked all the stuff we need out myself except for one little outfit he saw after 20 WK scan but that's it. He just doesn't seem interested in that stuff but in a way I'm kind of glad as he always seems to like the opposite to what I do which is annoying so glad I can get my own way haha.

 

[Claire788]

I don't think many dad's buy things for baby without moms help. I could be wrong but it's not really most men's forte.

Agreed! My DS is 4 and I don't think DH has bought him anything without my "nod" or approval, wouldn't expect him to, its just not how he thinks! If I ask him to, he will but its not at the forfront of his mind.
xxx