Husband won't..

[Diannam]

Go near me. He's grossed out by the increased discharge, very slight and rare leak from my nipples, and worried that my cervix being open only 1 measly cm would cause harm to the baby.

I don't even want sex that much but once in a while I would like to have it (39 weeks and it takes some work placing pillows strategically), and have him be passionate about it. It feels like I am forcing myself on him which makes the whole experience unsatisfying.

Anyone else going through a similar experience or have any advice?

 

[jamiemcbride1]

My fiancé has been totally up untill the point now that I'm losing plug he's slightly freaked out !! He sad that's it no more it's quite funny really but I get what u mean about the pillows I find it easier to do doggy and just hold the pillows under my boobs ! We're just at that awkward stage now won't last much longer just grin and bare it xxx

 

[Diannam]

Thanks, I guess I can go without for a while. I'm just going to be a bit crabby. My husband touched my skin and said 'you're so soft' and I come back at him saying 'so are you'.

 

[SaraVO]

Thanks, I guess I can go without for a while. I'm just going to be a bit crabby. My husband touched my skin and said 'you're so soft' and I come back at him saying 'so are you'.

This might be tmi but my sister's husband completely shut her out the entire pregnancy! I mean as soon as the stick turned until she stopped breastfeeding. She cried a lot and they had a completely planned pregnancy (ivf) my husband has said it's distracting a bit and I'm not even showing so I'm a little worried about him not being attracted to me big belly. But it is only temporary and it will end.

 

[Blu10]

DH is not at all into intimacy right now! Im 34 weeks and think weve DTD maybe 6 or 7 times the entire pregnancy. We had problems with an SCH until 18 weeks though and i have a history of miscarriage so that does have alot to do with it but he pretty much admitted my bump freaks him out x

 

[bluecathy1978]

I'm too tired and my bump gets in the way but when we get the chance we make the effort. I'm having a sweep on Tuesday so will be jumping on him then lol xx

 

[gemstone]

When we can we do. Don't think my hubby all that bothered 😂

 

[Diannam]

My husband is also afraid of harming the baby, aside from him finding some of the symptoms of pregnancy gross. I suppose it doesn't help when I say I'm having a lot of discharge. I suppose that could be off puting. He was more willing before I hit 32 weeks and my bump didn't push into him as much. Tmi maybe but me on top is the only position that works for me at the moment and he's afraid I'm going to give the baby brain damage. I'd like to be intimate and get something out of it at least once a week.

 

[prettybirdy27]

I'm so glad you posted this because my husband and I had a talk about this exact thing yesterday. I had noticed that for the last at least two months, every time I approached him for sex he turned me down, and on the rare occasion that we did try, he couldn't get it up. I figured it was just because he was afraid of hurting the baby, so last night I asked him about it, hoping to ease his mind. I was totally and completely blindsided when he told me it's because of the smell of my increased discharge just totally turns him off! I've been keeping myself super clean, wearing pantiliners, and changing my underpants several times a day, but apparently I'm still so disgusting that he can't even get a hard on. Of course he didn't say it that way but that's how it felt. There is absolutely nothing I can do about the increased discharge, and all night last night and day today I've just felt completely dejected and disgusting. I can't help but keep thinking that I'm putting my body through so much to do this wonderful amazing thing for our family, and the thanks I get is to be told that I smell so bad that it turns him off. And don't even get me started on the many times that I've willingly had sex with him when I didn't want to just because I knew he did, yet he can't even try for me.

There's no real good solution though, if our SOs are turned off by what our bodies are doing, there's no way we can force them to not be. It just really sucks to be made to feel so bad about something you have zero control over.

 

[PitaKat]

When we can we do. Don't think my hubby all that bothered 😂

That's us too. We still do all the same positions. My hubby said he had never been attracted to pregnant women before, but he finds me very hot. Of course, I'm only 30 weeks and will likely get much larger, then we'll see how he really feels lol!

Prettybirdy, that really sucks! If my husband told me that, my feelings would be so hurt

 

[charlie_lael]

Haven't had this problem yet with hubby, but im getting frustrated with my Bump getting in the way. Lol. My husband was deployed the last half of our first pregnancy so dtd with a big Bump in the way is new for us.

 

[charlie_lael]

I'm so glad you posted this because my husband and I had a talk about this exact thing yesterday. I had noticed that for the last at least two months, every time I approached him for sex he turned me down, and on the rare occasion that we did try, he couldn't get it up. I figured it was just because he was afraid of hurting the baby, so last night I asked him about it, hoping to ease his mind. I was totally and completely blindsided when he told me it's because of the smell of my increased discharge just totally turns him off! I've been keeping myself super clean, wearing pantiliners, and changing my underpants several times a day, but apparently I'm still so disgusting that he can't even get a hard on. Of course he didn't say it that way but that's how it felt. There is absolutely nothing I can do about the increased discharge, and all night last night and day today I've just felt completely dejected and disgusting. I can't help but keep thinking that I'm putting my body through so much to do this wonderful amazing thing for our family, and the thanks I get is to be told that I smell so bad that it turns him off. And don't even get me started on the many times that I've willingly had sex with him when I didn't want to just because I knew he did, yet he can't even try for me.

There's no real good solution though, if our SOs are turned off by what our bodies are doing, there's no way we can force them to not be. It just really sucks to be made to feel so bad about something you have zero control over.

Wow, that's messed up. Is there a scented lubricant you could use maybe? Or a scented condom? Even then I don't know if I'd want to dtd; if my hubby told me that id tell him to eff off. Lol

 

[gemstone]

I'm so glad you posted this because my husband and I had a talk about this exact thing yesterday. I had noticed that for the last at least two months, every time I approached him for sex he turned me down, and on the rare occasion that we did try, he couldn't get it up. I figured it was just because he was afraid of hurting the baby, so last night I asked him about it, hoping to ease his mind. I was totally and completely blindsided when he told me it's because of the smell of my increased discharge just totally turns him off! I've been keeping myself super clean, wearing pantiliners, and changing my underpants several times a day, but apparently I'm still so disgusting that he can't even get a hard on. Of course he didn't say it that way but that's how it felt. There is absolutely nothing I can do about the increased discharge, and all night last night and day today I've just felt completely dejected and disgusting. I can't help but keep thinking that I'm putting my body through so much to do this wonderful amazing thing for our family, and the thanks I get is to be told that I smell so bad that it turns him off. And don't even get me started on the many times that I've willingly had sex with him when I didn't want to just because I knew he did, yet he can't even try for me.

There's no real good solution though, if our SOs are turned off by what our bodies are doing, there's no way we can force them to not be. It just really sucks to be made to feel so bad about something you have zero control over.

Wow, that's messed up. Is there a scented lubricant you could use maybe? Or a scented condom? Even then I don't know if I'd want to dtd; if my hubby told me that id tell him to eff off. Lol

You poor thing 😞. I would feel the same. I guess my hubby has a bit of a fetish 😂. Coz whenever I'm pregnant we don't have a problem. Then again I don't have much in the way of discharge & haven't in other pregnancies either. Hopefully he can give it a try soon & get some of the romance back x

 

[Fit_Mama2Be]

Prettybirdy I'm sorry your husband said that - so mean. I'm sure he wouldn't like it much if you were so "honest" with him!

Our sex life has been non-existent too. Blu my DH is like yours, LOL, the bump freaks him out to no end. He's also scared of hurting the baby and can't get past the fact that our son is *right there.* He loves seeing and feeling him kick but it is definitely not a turn on ha ha.

I don't mind, partially because I have no desire to dtd right now and appreciate not having to feel guilty about depriving him, and partially because everything has been great in that department since we met 10.5 years ago so I really have no room to complain.

 

[mrs_sasquatch]

Prettybirdy, that's horrible! If it was such an issue for him, why couldn't he be honest sooner and try to find a way to get past it?

My DH doesn't necessarily seem turned off, but he isn't really into it either. I got him to dtd last night, but he complained that now I'm too "shallow". I guess there wasn't really room for him? Lol.

 

[Blu10]

Prettybirdy I'm sorry your husband said that - so mean. I'm sure he wouldn't like it much if you were so "honest" with him!

Our sex life has been non-existent too. Blu my DH is like yours, LOL, the bump freaks him out to no end. He's also scared of hurting the baby and can't get past the fact that our son is *right there.* He loves seeing and feeling him kick but it is definitely not a turn on ha ha.

I don't mind, partially because I have no desire to dtd right now and appreciate not having to feel guilty about depriving him, and partially because everything has been great in that department since we met 10.5 years ago so I really have no room to complain.

Glad its not just us fit! Thats better than DH though he struggles with even feeling baby kick etc and shouts at me for 'poking him' lol. He said to our friends last week that after the losses he will do his bonding once baby is here and safe so im not pushing it. Im not actually offended by him not finding pregnancy a turn on, I guess we just have to make up for it once baby is here. We did DTD a couple of weeks ago and it was clear neither of us were enjoying it as I could tell he just wasnt feeling it and that put me off x

 

[o0oCharlieo0o]

We haven't done anything for about two months now and it's been like that pretty much the whole way through, very rarely, for the first 12 weeks we didn't do anything because of previous losses and the dr recommended waiting until after 12 weeks, then when we did because it had been so long I had a little bleed and that freaked OH out because of the losses so it was a long while again until he would go anywhere near me, it ended up with me getting so upset I accused him of cheating because if he wasn't doing anything with me who was he doing it with?! Which really upset him and for the first time in forever he actually opened up to me and told me because of our losses he is terrified to do anything with me, with our first loss the bleeding started after sex and although I tell him it was nothing to do with us having sex and he knows it wasn't it still psychologically troubles him, I felt terrible that I'd upset him but glad he finally opened up to me and so I haven't tried anything since because I don't want him to feel pressured when he's finding it so hard but I'm struggling with not doing anything, and I mean nothing all we do is cuddle up in bed and watch tv, I swear iv put so much weight on because iv replaced sex with chocolate and cakes lmao

 

[lau86]

Prettybirdy I agree with pp that's awful of your husband to say!! I'm sure your discharge doesn't smell and it's just him being weird. Not like sperm smells like roses is it.
I'm going to breastfeed which always means I have no sex drive so I'm trying to make up for it now! Haven't done it loads but hubby is not bothered about my bump or other pregnancy things.
On a side note did anyone hear about the pregnant woman who got banned from a shopping centre for giving her husband a blow job in the middle of the place?

 

[Hopeful.89]

I am so glad I am not alone in this! DH doesn't have a high drive to begin with so I was scared when I finally got pregnant that he would never want to do it with me. He says he wants to but the bump freaks him out. So we pretty much do doggy and I put pillows under my chest.

Lau - That is hilarious!! I never heard that but I kind of wish I did.

 

[lau86]

I am so glad I am not alone in this! DH doesn't have a high drive to begin with so I was scared when I finally got pregnant that he would never want to do it with me. He says he wants to but the bump freaks him out. So we pretty much do doggy and I put pillows under my chest.

Lau - That is hilarious!! I never heard that but I kind of wish I did.

I think it would've been but unfortunately they had their two kids aged 5 and 3 with them who apparently were trying to interrupt them