I can't be a surrogate :(

[junemomma09]

Ive know for a little while but just wanted to share. Also wanted to see if anyone else was in the same boat as I am. Apparently I can't be a gestational surrogate even because I'm part Native American. Though I don't really understand why my ethnic background makes me ineligible to carry someone elses baby. It's not like it's my genetics. Plus because I had placenta previa with my son I'm automatically disqualified though the placenta moved completely out of the way by 30 weeks. My pregnancy with my daughter was pretty much normal, except for the hyperemesis I suffered from in the first trimester. But other than that, went just fine. I had her at 38 + 6 days and she even had an apgar score of 9. I'm otherwise a very healthy person, aside from the complications I suffered with my pregnancy with my son, I've never had any problems. It just sucks I can't help another family like I wanted to.

 

[Butterfly89]

WAIIIIT - what?! That is completely disgusting. I'm native too.. from Canada. I've never heard of that? I'm sure the person who told you that could be charged even for discrimination! That should be reportable to the Human Rights Commission. The only connection I can make is that native women TEND to be more prone to gestational diabetes, but that is most likely related to traditional diet and/or diets of people who are struggling on the rez's.

But honestly, many ethnic backgrounds have different predispositions to things... And if it's not even your genes... Wow. I'm sorry hun, that's terrible. You must be a beautiful person to want to give someone the gift of your womb for their LO. I can't even put into words how it would feel to have someone do that for me, and its likely I will have to have a surrogate.

And placenta previa I know can be isolated to one pregnancy, not necessarily that it would happen again, so hmm. That is just terrible! It really does sound like discrimination.

 

[Septie]

Oh - to want to be a surrogate is sooo special! It really is disappointing for you and for any potential family that you can't be one...
But I doubt it has anything to do with discrimination: Most likely, it's to protect your health or the health of the baby. Placenta previa during a prior pregnancy is a risk factor for future pregnancies, and I suspect (but don't really know) that your genetic background may pre-dispose you to some pregnancy complications (whether it be gestational diabetes, high blood pressure etc.). The docs can't take the slightest risk of endangering the life of a surrogate...

 

[junemomma09]

Yeah I'm not even sure what being native American has to do with any complications. But I'm not even 100% native american, I'm just a small percentage. I don't get it either. I really did want to help another family have a little baby. All I wanted to do was CARRY the baby. It wasn't even going to be blood related. I spoke with my OB/GYN and she said that placenta previa is an isolated occurence and that it doesn't necessarily mean I will have it again. But that they would just watch more carefully for it in future pregnancies, but she doesn't see any reason why I can carry any future pregnancies without complications. She said it couldve been something as simple as low progesterone and they would just put me on medication in the future if that's the case.
That's one of the questions though on the initial questionnaire, it asks about your ethnic background. Apparently if you're from certain parts of Europe you can't be a surrogate either. Funny thing is, everyone derived from the same place. It's crazy how they do things. The fact that I can't help another family bothers me, not because they said I can't but because it was something that really meant something to me. To be able to give such a precious gift like that and to see another couple so incredibly happy.
But it's nice I get to talk about it. Thanks ladies for listening

 

[Milty]

Does it have to do with legal matters? By that I mean can it be because you have the ability to go to tribal land and stay there by keeping any baby you were carring? Sadly I have seen other tribe members get out of contracts and such in this manner.

 

[Butterfly89]

That's so weird. I'm only 1/4 native, but I grew up around the culture with a lot of native friends. I've never heard of the tribal contract thing; must be American. As far as I know, in Canada reserves are still subject to all the same laws as anywhere else.

I'm curious now if I would be allowed to be a surrogate... I actually know I couldn't for health reasons, but hm. Do you apply through an individual agency or is it through government services?

 

[junemomma09]

That's so weird. I'm only 1/4 native, but I grew up around the culture with a lot of native friends. I've never heard of the tribal contract thing; must be American. As far as I know, in Canada reserves are still subject to all the same laws as anywhere else.

I'm curious now if I would be allowed to be a surrogate... I actually know I couldn't for health reasons, but hm. Do you apply through an individual agency or is it through government services?

Well this is through private surrogacy programs. I don't even know if they have any programs through the government. But I'd have to prove I'm part native American in order to receive any of the benefits they get, such as paid college tuition, etc. So I couldn't flee to any reservation, not that I'd want to anyway. I'm going to eventually have more children of my own, but I would never keep a child that wasn't mine. I mean the baby wouldn't even be biologically mine. I just don't understand how some of these women keep these babies when they have no blood relation to the child they're carrying. But such is life....

 

[Hotpink_Mom]

Well thats just plan wrong.

 

[QuintinsMommy]

I dont understand why a native-Canadian wouldnt be alowed to be a surrogate mother?

 

[xvmomovx]

In America when a parent gives up all parental rights it can be contested by a tribe and there is a law in place that gives them the right to adopt that baby. This could be why.