I can't do this

[Blob]

Just wanted to say i know exactyly how you're feeling i have flat nipples and tabitha couldnt feed. I stayed in hospital for 4 days until i could feed her even the mws couldnt manage it i had like5 round my bed a bf expert and everything. I just used to sit in tears cos all these other women were taking their babies home and i couldnt. When i did go homje she screamed all the time cos i couldnt get her to feed and my OH took her and settled her.

Major advice have people around who are really pro bfding cos if you dont you'll give up, also someone there for when she's go upset and you're upset cos sometimes thats all it takes. You have to remember that she's also learning.

I think it took me 2 weeks to get it right and now its amazing, dont give up so many people struggle to begin with you're not alone.

Another thing that helped was buying an electric pump for when you get engorged, cos i was at one point only able to feed from one side for some reason. Also that brought the nipple right out and she latched on fine once i'd used that. If you're engorged they find it so much harder also to latch on. I also have very small nipple area so that made it hard for her and Tabitha has apparently got a short toungue.

Just keep going and you'll get it. Have people to help when you're tierd and upset and also get a good breast pump.

Good Luck!!

Sorry about mistakes am typing one handed!

 

[Blob]

I feel so awful for you cos it was horrid for me i kept thinking that i was failing to do something that i was made to do that i couldnt feed my baby and it was all my fault. It was sooo hard to keep going and do but it was worth all the pain and tears that i had over it. I was scared everytime she managed to get a feed that i wouldnt be able to do it the next time. I was also petrified she was going to starve, i was so worried i just felt sick with nerves. Sitting holding a screaming baby cos you cant do the most natural thing in the world... well thats what i was thinking anyhooo.
You'll get it dont worry and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

[wishingonastar]

jesus mervs mum...you got me crying too now! i'm teary with pregnancy hormones anyway so reading about rafwife's difficulties, then reading about her successes got me welling up and your 'i'm not a failure' mantra finished me off!!!!

glad things are on the up rafwife

 

[Jemima]

I think what Blob has put is right...keep at it, you are doing so well and try to keep in touch with people who are "pro-breastfeeding" because when you are going through the difficult first few weeks it is SO easy to consider giving up.

Good luck and don't stress too much. x

 

[sam's mum]

So glad things are getting a bit better. We had so many problems for the first few weeks but we did get through it and it's so much easier now. I hope it gets even better for you soon x

 

[Pyrrhic]

Really bad night last night, and day today.

She's still not latching and feeding properly, and although I'm giving her expressed bottles and she's taking 70-90mls a time she's still waking every hour. My MW was surprised by how much she's taking and said it is too much for a newborn so I don't know why she's still taking so much or what to do.

I feel really horrible for saying this, but I'm starting to resent her. Every time I try to feed I fail and when I express it's still not enough for her. I'm at the point now where I don't even want to pick her up or cuddle her as I'm afraid she'll ask for a feed. Actually I'm terrified she'll ask for a feed and I cry every time I think about it. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I know my hormones are all over the place but I hate feeling like I don't want to hold her anymore.

 

[wishingonastar]

oh honey you poor thing. i don't have much experience with babies, but my bro has a newborn at the mo and is going through the routine struggles...

i don't know if its any use at all but he said with his little one he fed him every 3 hours to begin with, then as he progressed moved to four and now is on five hour gap. the baby does whinge for food in between and it can be hard going to hold off and not feed on demand, but it will benefit you longer in the long run if you are as firm as you can be. he said when his little one whinges and cries in between feeds he gives him a dummy or his little finger to soothe him for longer

as i said i'm only repeating what he's told me but hopefully it might help you? it might be stuff you already know though in which case ignore me!

don't allow your mind to win if you're starting to be put off holding her, force yourself to carry on and try distraction methods from feeding like those above as she needs to be cuddled by you and you need to cuddle her to keep bonding. i can only imagine how hard it is but you'll get through it
x x x

 

[Michy]

Oh gosh hunni pie, I am so sorry you are feeling like this and I really wish I had some advice for you, but having never done it I just don't have a clue.

Sending you lots of love and hugs tho and hoping you find your way through xxxxxx

 

[wishingonastar]

just a thought...have you told your MW how your feeling? I think it could be important as it needs to be sorted out asap rather than left for you to feel worse...you're not the first person and won't be the last to struggle - hell i'll probably be asking your advice come next july when my one arrives!!!!

 

[coccyx]

Please try not to feel so sad. I have breast fed my 4 children and the first baby was the most demanding. You are recovering from labour as well as trying to feed and comfort a newborn. I demand feed my baby and in the first weeks he would feed every hour!!! The more stressed and tired you become the baby picks up on this. Can not advise on flat nipples as mine are like chapel hat pegs!!! Do not consider yourself a failure, those first weeks can be a battle, but somehow we get through.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Maybe a dummy might be a help hun?? x

 

[Samantha675]

Oh hun, the first week is sooo freaking hard, not withstanding flat nipple issues, I wished I could be of more help on that front. I just want to give you support, let you know that you are not a failure, you are trying soo hard to do such a wonderful thing for your LO. Dont' see her crying as a bad thing, she is communicating with you and you are responding so wonderfully! Oh and as far as feeling resentful, you are not alone in that either, there have been several times I have really resented Brennan for being a difficult demanding baby, it is just part of the adjustment.

 

[Serene123]

I think all mummies compare their babies to other peoples babies and sometimes question, why is mine doing this to me? Why can't my baby sleep through the night, eat perfect amounts at perfect times, and be an all round calm, happy, easy to pass around baby! But, they're not all like that. Infact EVERY baby I know has something that grates on their mum abit! You are trying so hard and you CAN do it. If you think it's better for her to be on formula then so be it, but you CAN do it and you will be SO proud if you acheive it! Good luck whatever you choose, and remember your baby will still love you to death if you decide formula feeding is the best option for both of you.

I don't want to push either but if you want to be a BF mummy, then do it! It is so hard, and so rewarding. I have no advice on the nipple situation other than a baby breast feeds not nipple feeds and she just has to get used to it

 

[BlackBerry25]

I know where you are coming from because I posted a similar thread when I had Helena! You are doing so good, and you have to look after yourself as well as baby. Lisa had some great advice when she said that it IS ok to top up with some formula.

I was the same way where I was crying tears all over her and I felt like I was constantly feeding her and not sleeping and I felt like a huge failure because other people were able to do it, and the nurses kept saying breastmilk was best. I quit after 2 weeks, and I am not telling you to give up, you should do what you believe is best, but I felt 9 billion times better after I switched to bottle feeding. I felt so much relief! My OH feeds baby half the time now and I can sleep. My depression was instantly lifted. I did have one day recently where I felt horrible for not breast feeding her, but I have to realize she is just as happy and healthy as any other baby

Hope today goes better for you!!! We are all here for you when you need to let it all out

 

[Pyrrhic]

Thanks for all the replies girls.

I gave up BFing today and decided to move onto formula. I've given her 4 days of breast milk, so she's got the first milk from me which is important. I've talked it over with my MW and I was starting to get very upset and emotional over BFing and I don't want to feel depressed over something to do with my baby. Since I've made the decision I've just felt a huge relief. Niamh is also feeding pretty much bang on every 3 hours today too and she's taking all her formula so I'm not having to worry that she's not getting enough.

I am a little worried that I'll wish I stuck at it, but I was getting so upset that I think I need to address the issue and how I'm feeling now and not worry about how I'm going to feel in the future.

 

[alio]

I had exactly the same problem darling and no one can advise you unless they're you, in your situation with your baby. All that I can say is that I packed in the booby feeding and was worried I'd regret it but utterly honestly I am SUCH a happy mummy, with SUCH a happy baby and I'm really glad I gave up the BFing. You've done so well!! Focus on the positive. Onwards and upwards.... now worry about your baby becoming a stroppy teenager. Don't allow people to get to you darling. It's not worth it. You're a great mum. xxx

 

[ryder]

Dont let anyone make you feel guilty. I am happy with my decision to FF and my baby is healthy and happy and I am not having to deal with the frustrations that I did with BF.

 

[Samantha675]

No matter love, you did an awesome job for you LO!!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

You did your best sweetie. Enjoy that lovely baby!!! x

 

[clairebear]

do not feel bad for moving to fomula x u need to do whats right for u and ur baby.


enjoy ur baby hun x