I can't handle dd anymore :,(

[TaylorsMummyx]

She is driving me mad, and the past month she's getting worse. She's turning into a right spoilt brat and I don't know what to do!!
She will scream and do a whining noise for hours if she doesn't get something she wants. If I ignore her she will hit/trow things/ just get in my face and scream. We have tried time out and it doesn't work.
Today we had a big tantrum again because I wouldn't let her have some sweets, and she just kept going "please mum please please" but full sobbing!!! I can't take it anymore, she's even getting worse when we go out like yday she wanted some sweets and Jaffa cakes!! I said she can have one thing to take grandmas and she went mental screaming and getting hysterical! Don't no what to do

 

[RachA]

How old is your DD?

Time outs don't work with Daniel either. I generally ignore him if he is whining and I'm at home. If i am out then i will tell him that we will go home if he carries on - and then i follow through with it.

 

[TaylorsMummyx]

She's nearly 4. Iv tried the ignoring she can go for hours :,(

 

[RachA]

Same age as Daniel then
Do you eventually give in? If not then maybe you could try reward charts for her so she has something positive to work towards.

 

[Tanikit]

Your daughter sounds a lot like my recently turned 4 year old - she has got quite rude lately and is also whining a lot and being aggressive if I ignore her - it seems to be an age thing related to seeing how far they can push the boundaries. One thing I did read said to ignore the whining - just answer as you would normally and don't repeat if they whine more. I have found I can't really punish whining - the only thing that works for me is to ignore it and tell my DD I won't understand til she asks calmly and nicely (please etc) The same with the tantrums - it is embarrassing in public when your child who is no longer 2 years old is throwing a full blown tantrum, but just stick to what you said and she'll soon learn that tantrums don't help - and leave the shop if necessary.

The aggression however I do not allow - my DD is not allowed to hit or kick anyone and if she does it is immediate time out/sent to her room and I even even smacked her for it at times as time outs do not always work and I need her to get the message immediately (this is usually if she tries to hurt her sister)

Recently I have read up on a lot of ways of dealing with 4 year olds (it seems to be a tough age) and many people also advise taking toys away and making them earn them back with good behaviour - some go as far as to take every toy away before their child learns. I have yet to try this but I might see if removing something she values has some effect.

 

[RachA]

Your daughter sounds a lot like my recently turned 4 year old - she has got quite rude lately and is also whining a lot and being aggressive if I ignore her - it seems to be an age thing related to seeing how far they can push the boundaries. One thing I did read said to ignore the whining - just answer as you would normally and don't repeat if they whine more. I have found I can't really punish whining - the only thing that works for me is to ignore it and tell my DD I won't understand til she asks calmly and nicely (please etc) The same with the tantrums - it is embarrassing in public when your child who is no longer 2 years old is throwing a full blown tantrum, but just stick to what you said and she'll soon learn that tantrums don't help - and leave the shop if necessary.

The aggression however I do not allow - my DD is not allowed to hit or kick anyone and if she does it is immediate time out/sent to her room and I even even smacked her for it at times as time outs do not always work and I need her to get the message immediately (this is usually if she tries to hurt her sister)

Recently I have read up on a lot of ways of dealing with 4 year olds (it seems to be a tough age) and many people also advise taking toys away and making them earn them back with good behaviour - some go as far as to take every toy away before their child learns. I have yet to try this but I might see if removing something she values has some effect.

This is quite a good thing to do - we have done it with DS on occasion. One thing to watch out for though is that children have a habit of transferring their affections onto another toy quite quickly

 

[Mellybelle]

My DS (aged 3 and a half) makes the whiny noise if he doesnt get what he wants too. I HATE the whiny noise. I tell him i wont listen to him unless he uses his words. The same goes with screaming and crying. "I cant hear you if you make that noise. You need to use your words". I ignore tantrums as best I can and make the biggest effort to keep speaking in a calm voice.

The best one to use these days is "Santa's watching!". My DS is scared of Santa, so this works a treat!

 

[TaylorsMummyx]

Iv tried the santa thing and she says no he's not I can't see him! The thing that's working ATM is me "ringing mickey mouse and telling him were not coming to disneyland for tailors birthday anymore because shes being naughty" lol

 

[laurenfreya]

My 3 and a half year old has a right scream on her, if she doesnt get her own way dont we know about it. Time out does work on Freya and so does taking toys away. It must be an age thing and it will get better

 

[kiki04]

My daughter is 4 and she doesnt do this but my now 8 yr old used to. He would go on and on and on and on. I generally told them they can do that all they want but the only place they can is in their room as no one wanted to listen to that garbage. He would go in there and throw things at the door mess up his whole room, but then I would laugh and say "wow looks like you have a big mess to clean before you can come out of here" and he wasnt allowed out until it was clean. There were times he was in there for 3 hours but I stood my ground and he learned it was not acceptable and if he wanted to behave in such a manor there was consequences. Now at 8 I get the huff and the puff, the crossed arms and the first thing he does when he gets mad is storms to his room...

 

[deafgal]

if she scream in the stores, remove her from the situation (take her to the car and sit with her until she calm down). At this stage, you have to have alot of time and patience and must not be in a hurry. prepare yourself.

If she is at home, giving in after screaming (out of frustration) will encourage her to do more because she knows it work. ignore it. Tell her that you can't hear her from all that screaming. And firmly tell her no.

In the end, it will work out.

I take his tv away if he hits

 

[mammaleigh]

My dd is 3 and a few months, she has been doing this at times...I tell her that until she can speak to me like a big girl, mommy cant hear the baby talk. I also will tell her that if it doesnt stop by the time I count to 3 then she will go to timeout. Now time out works for her at times, but then there are times when a pop to the bottom works better. I dont spank for attitude or for whining.
I know the biggest thing is to do what you say you will do. My SDD is now 10 and she knows that she can push and push DH and he will cave in. So will her mom. I dont. If she begs then it is even more of a no with the possiblity of chores added or things being taken away.

 

[misshopefull]

Some good advice ladies

If my ds starts to whine I tell him I can't understand him until he talks properly. I also find that distraction often works. I start talking about or doing something completely different and he will often forget what he was orginally doing.

If he hits or throws things he is always made to say sorry and he gets quite upset when either me or my partner get angry with him. We explain why something is naughty and have a kiss and cuddle after he has said sorry.

At the moment the threat of santa not coming is working brilliantly, I dread to think what I am going to do after xmas!

 

[mammaleigh]

Just remember the song...he sees you when your sleeping he knows when your awake, he knows if youve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake...it doesnt just work in December...he watches all year!!

 

[17thy]

I agree with the taking away their toys and having them earn it back method. Or taking away outside time, or tv time. Something that they enjoy that they can earn by good behavior. Maybe do a sticker chart or something? Sorry my LO is no where near that age but they seem like good tactics to try.