I don't know if I can ever forgive her..probably long

[stepmum]

pffft I don't even know where to start..

Basically I'm having a problem with my mum. She is visiting my brother in another city for the week to help out with my niece while they move (my niece is 2 months older than my LO) anyway I had lent my sister some money for deposit and rent on a new flat. When it was time to pay it back (last friday) she didn't have my bank details at the time so she transferred it to my mum who she then asked to transfer it to me. Key point here is my mum and sister had fallen out. Anyway my mum didn't have her card reader with her to transfer it online so I told her it would do when she is home (this Friday)..anyway expenses have come up for my OH new job and I have asked her if she can withdraw some cash (she has the actual card) and put it in my bank. She has basically told me they haven't gone past a cash machine/won't be going past one and that they are too busy/brother won't take her. I've googled and there are 3 branches within 10 minutes of my brothers house. You would think there had been a falling out with my mum and me but honestly I was fine with her until then.

Basically she is implying that I will have to wait until she comes home to get it back (and this she hasn't even confirmed) I feel so let down, I've told her without this money, OH can't pay for his medical/tests therefore his new job will be delayed meaning our bills and rent will be late next month, not to mention being skint. She doesn't seem interested in this, she knows I bulk buy all of Oliver's stuff (nappies/food/milk etc) so he won't go without but I still feel like she's letting me and him down.

It all boils down to when she is with my brother and his baby she doesn't care about anyone else, so long as she has them. I can't stop relating it back to when my LO was born. My brother had brought his baby down to meet my mum for the first time (she was 8 weeks old at the time) and my waters had broke and was in hospital. My LO was born prematurely and despite the fact he was lying in an incubator, she never came to see him until my brother and his baby had gone home after the weekend. My LO was 2 days old. In fact the first night of my baby's life I was stood holding onto his tiny fingers, terrified (I had no idea about prem babies at the time, none of us do until we have one) and my mum, brother, sister in law, auntie and uncle all decided it would be appropriate to go for a nice family meal. So while I was terrified for my baby's future they all were enjoying a lovely time. Though she can accept the congratulations on Facebook and tell everyone how pleased she was. As I say I can't stop thinking about this and feel so peed off, I don't think I was in the right place to be peed off about it at the time and sort of went with the flow, though my sister gave her hell for it.

Needless to say there has been another huge argument over this latest incident, she's basically admitted she is trying to teach my sister a lesson over this as she should have asked permission to use her account..my OH has told her he will be reporting this if he doesn't get the money back this week and as you can imagine my OH has been called all the names under the sun. She has also posted on Facebook she is staying another week but I don't know if this is just to wind me up. I don't know what to do, I think I'm starting to only just react to what happened when my LO was born..am I wrong for this? I feel like just waiting til the money is back and then cutting her out of our lives. My OH's family is brilliant and have helped us loads, they dote on Oliver. I feel like I can't rely on her and I don't want to give her the opportunity to let Oliver down again. I just don't know

 

[Hunbun]

You have every right to be annoyed! I would be raging and I would be letting her know that.

I don't think you should cut her out of your life just yet. Definetly let her know, by 'punishing' your sister she is causing you a lot of trouble and putting your relationship at risk.

She seriously needs to grow up. Imagine doing that to your daughter!

 

[babytibby]

Im hving issues with my mum too. Because I split with my husband and met someone else and hve hd a lo with him they seem to be shunning me. She hasnt been to see lo yet, fair enough, she doesnt live local to me but its only an hours drive and she doesnt work anymore.

I havent even had a card from her congratulating us. I feel so let down by them (my dad too) I wanted to tell them what I thought but am biting my tongue for now and trying to pen an email together to let them know how I feel but I get either too upset or angry when I try that I havent been able to do so as yet

I wouldnt cut them out yet but try and let them know what they are doing and how it makes you feel.

Maybe I could tell your mum and you could tell mine? lol xx

 

[stepmum]

Im hving issues with my mum too. Because I split with my husband and met someone else and hve hd a lo with him they seem to be shunning me. She hasnt been to see lo yet, fair enough, she doesnt live local to me but its only an hours drive and she doesnt work anymore.

I havent even had a card from her congratulating us. I feel so let down by them (my dad too) I wanted to tell them what I thought but am biting my tongue for now and trying to pen an email together to let them know how I feel but I get either too upset or angry when I try that I havent been able to do so as yet

I wouldnt cut them out yet but try and let them know what they are doing and how it makes you feel.

Maybe I could tell your mum and you could tell mine? lol xx

aaw I'm sorry you are having issues too, it's horrible isn't it, the sad thing is I have been through this before with my mum, she wasn't interested in my pregnancy either even though I had other complications but she couldn't do/say/ask enough for my brother when his wife was pregnant. She also wouldn't dream of insulting my brothers wife either but thinks nothing of calling my OH names even though she's said he's been more of a son than my brother has. I think you should definitely tell your mum though, I always feel better when I get it all out. I really feel like mine is a lost cause though, it's happened too many times.