I dunno what to do.........

[louise85]

Sorry girls my second thread in a day...

FOBs fucking off abroad for over a year, apparantly he'd rather keep his job (his words not mine)

I'm so upset I just dunno what to do, it was only a few days ago he said he wanted to be involved and hoped I could forgive him,

Apparantly I'm mad for believing children should come before you job!! And I'm off my head for telling him so apparantly I'm trying to guilt trip him!!

Now to top the night off he's deleted and blocked me on FB.

I've been in tears most the day and now I just don't know what to do!! I know a year and half two years down the line he'll be back but thats not the point, what about the here and now? The birth, the 1st year of babys life??

I really thought when he got in touch last week he was bothered now it looks like not so much.

Any advice girls? xx

 

[SugarKisses]

im sorry I have no advice hun I just cant believe the way some men act and think...it makes me so angry. x x x

 

[louise85]

Thanks hun.

The thing is he makes me feel like I'm the one in the wrong for suggesting he doesn't work abroad, apparantly he will lose his job but in my opinion you can always get anther job you can't get those precious memories back. I'm so angry!!

Part of me is even thinkin he's made all this up, maybe thats just my hormones tho

xx

 

[honey08]

im sry ur goin thro this hun, make sure u mention money4baby2him let him b aboard fuck him ! make sure he pays for his baby xx

 

[nievesmama]

Oh hun, .
Really dont know what to say, but i agree with getting him to pay. Just because hes buggering off doesnt mean he doesnt still have responsibilities.
Hes showing his level of maturity in the fact hes deleted and blocked you from FB, it will be his loss.

 

[louise85]

Will I still be able to get money off him if he's working abroad though? I'm not sure how the CSA works??

I agree its his loss and I've told him he'll regret it, he doesn't seem bothered though.

I've got a detailed scan next week as they've got to keep an eye on the baby, I just don't think I can cope with much more

xxx

 

[SugarKisses]

your right hun, he can always get a different job. But men never look at things the way we do.
Im struggling in my relationship too....although for different reasons. He wants me to get rid of the baby even though ive already lost a little girl Yes I know Im a mug...but I cant help it when I love him so much. I havnt got the strength to get rid of him because no matter what happens he will always be there and I guess Im feeling very vunnerable going through this pregnancy after the loss of my baby girl....

Sorry, for that little rant

Wish we could just slap some sense into them x x x

 

[louise85]

your right hun, he can always get a different job. But men never look at things the way we do.
Im struggling in my relationship too....although for different reasons. He wants me to get rid of the baby even though ive already lost a little girl Yes I know Im a mug...but I cant help it when I love him so much. I havnt got the strength to get rid of him because no matter what happens he will always be there and I guess Im feeling very vunnerable going through this pregnancy after the loss of my baby girl....

Sorry, for that little rant

Wish we could just slap some sense into them x x x

Awww hun, ur not being a mug its hard when u love someone, and also dealing with a loss

I wish a slap would work!! I just don't get them at all!!! Are they seriously not bothered or is it just a front cuz their scared??!!

xxx

 

[SugarKisses]

Thanks.

I think its both of them things tbh hun, but I couldnt tell you. I really dont understand what goes on in their heads. I just hope that your man realizes whats more important soon babe x x x

 

[louise85]

I hope so too! Although he says he's going in less than two weeks and seems pretty adamant so........

Our due dates are pretty close together

xxx

 

[SugarKisses]

2 weeks No job is as important as a baby. Grrr some men really pee me off!

Oh yeah....your about a week behind Cool. Have you felt anything yet?! x x x

 

[honey08]

just think of u and the baby, let him miss out (like my ex !) enjoy all u can, cos tell u somat nothing wud become b4 my baby xxx

 

[louise85]

Yep two whole weeks, I just don't get him at all!!! His exact words were "I want to be involved but hoe can I be, its impossible" Erm not in my opinion its not

I think I've felt little flutters.....but it is my 2nd have you??

xx

 

[louise85]

just think of u and the baby, let him miss out (like my ex !) enjoy all u can, cos tell u somat nothing wud become b4 my baby xxx

Thats exactly what I said to him nothing or no-one should come before your child, but then he makes me feel stupid for saying this aaarrrggghhhh, saying I'm mad for suggesting his baby comes before his job!!

xxx

 

[honey08]

let him get on with it hun, get ur money 4 the baby who need a fella ! xx

 

[SugarKisses]

I agree, its not impossible. Grrrr

Aw thats lovely. Ive been feeling movements for about a week now. Its my 2nd aswell...but like I said I lost my little girl 6 months into the pregnancy so it will hopefully be my 1st here on earth. Im quite a skinny girl aswell so I think that helps me to feel it more....x

 

[purpledahlia]

I dont think you can get money from CSA if theyre abroad... it depends where i think, i started to look into it but then FOB wasnt going.

But tbh if he is gonna go and not care about his child then id leave him to it, you dont need him youlll do fab on your own. if hes choosing to leave babies life now.. then just make sure he knows thats his choice forever.. he makes his bed he lies in it?? he cant come swanning in a few eyars downt he line and if he knows that maybe nearer the time when your due reality will sink in. The pregnancy is still pretty new and hes probably not realised yet. he is actually going to be a father.. if he goes, his loss.

 

[lou_w34]

Too be honest id let him go.... but before he does id write him a letter saying if he goes now, dont expect it to be easy to return a year or so down the line and be welcomed with open arms.

Its his loss hun, at least all the smiles will be for you. He's a tosser for choosing to miss out

 

[sweetlullaby]

i dont really know what to say but he shouldnt be making you feel guilty or bad for saying a baby comes before his job type thing because a baby is more important!

I cant believe he says a few days ago that he wants to be involved etc and then tells you he's going abroad with work for a year or so! What a complete arse! I would let him go he will be the one missing out and its his decision to make and when your LO is older he will have some difficult questions to answer!

Hmmm is he working here and going abroad for a year with the same company type thing? I think CSA can still get payments off him even if he is abroad not entirely sure though!

I remember seeing FOB's msn in september and it said this time next year il be in new zealand. Didnt know what to make of it but tbh if he ever does go then good riddance to bad rubbish because my LO is better off without him.

It hurts though that they say they care etc and want to be involved but dont do anything about it etc. Its all talk and no action with them!

 

[purpledahlia]

It hurts though that they say they care etc and want to be involved but dont do anything about it etc. Its all talk and no action with them!

SO true