I feel ashamed ...

[Kelseyyyie]

Hey girls! I'm new on here and fount this site while looking for advice, so I figured I'd give it a try .
I'm 16 years old and pregnant with my baby girl . At first I was horribly scared, but now that it's getting closer, I'm beyond excited .
My problem is ... I feel ashamed. I feel ashamed that I'm a teen mom and the stereo types, not of my baby. & I feel ashamed for my parents .... That they have to tell their friends and other family members who watched me grow up, that their 16 year old daughter is pregnant, and they'll be grandparents at 35/36.
Do you guys have any stories or advice on how you got over the stereo types of being a young teen mom or pregnant at a young age?

 

[SumitaSofat]

don't feel ashamed about yourself and also don't isolated yourself from society. The more you think of it the more it will get difficult to come over from it. Let it be and see.

 

[Xrosex]

You have nothing to be ashamed about there are so many young girls having babies and being great mothers, your not alone and. If people want to stereotype then thats their problem you should be so proud of yourself that your bringing a life into the world! And im sure once your family meet your little girl theyl be proud too x

 

[ClairAye]

I can't honestly say I've directly had any shaming for my age and I had 2 kids at 19. I was 17 when I had my first. I understand where you're coming from, my sister is graduating uni next week in a scientific field and I have two kids but they are my pride and joy and I have plenty if years ahead of me to go to uni myself. My parents do brag about and show my kids off. Chin up!

 

[skyesmom]

hey dear, it is true that there are prejudices and stereotypes about teen moms, but you don't have to become one of them or identify with it just because you had a baby. it is not like you've done something horrifying or dishonest - sure falling pregnant wasn't planned BUT taking the responsibility for your child at such young age is to be respected, and just think of how much more responsibility you have on you, compared to your fellow teens who are just... teens.

also, you say your parents will become grandparents at 35/36... which means they had YOU at 19/20... which is also as teenagers/very very young (and this didn't happen in the '50s either!). i know that the difference between 16 and 19 is huge at that age, but all in all, your mom wasn't in her thirties when she had you, nor you squeeze a university degree or a decade of studies in those three years either. and did you ever feel your own mom was just a teenager when you were a baby? nope. she was simply your mommy.

having a baby sure puts a whole lot of pressure on you as a teen, and changes your life for good, at ANY age. but it is NOT the END of your life. it doesn't mean you will be one of those stereotypes. and ultimately - your life is NOT about what OTHER people THINK of you. your life is about who YOU are and what YOU do.

people will always find something to point their fingers on. my OH always says "great minds discuss ideas, others talk about other people" - and it is true - it is so easy to be judgmental, and if people around you say stuff behind your back - let them be. it speaks way more about them than about you.

 

[Kelseyyyie]

You guys are amazing , thanks so much!

 

[x__amour]

Don't be ashamed! Age is truly just a number. My husband and I had our children at 17 (him)/19 (me) and 21/22. It was the best decision we ever made. Think of it this way as well, you are literally growing old with your children. You will get to enjoy life as a young parent and enjoy your children at a younger age.

Nothing to be ashamed about.

 

[rose.]

Go out there, enjoy your baby and make new friends at baby groups etc. I was 21 when I had my son, so a little older than you, but still young. I was so nervous about going to baby groups but I made myself, and I'm so glad I did. My mum friends are all in their mid to late 30s, but once you've had a child age really is just a number, as you have so much in common, especially when the babies are very young. They didn't even realise how Young I was for quite a while - they knew I was young but didn't realise I was 15 years younger than them! If you go out there confidently and talk to people, it really isn't as hard as you think it will be.

Good luck

 

[Mrsb3]

I had my first at 19 and a lot of my friends had already had kids at 17-18 I even had one friend who had s baby at 13 so I guess where I was brought up if was the norm. I actually felt old at 19! My mum had her first at 15 and 16 do she was pretty excited when I got pregnant and said its about time! What I'm trying to say is there is no prefect age only society will bully you if you let it. Be proud to be a young mum..... When you are your parents age you will have a 21 year old daughter to go shopping with, meals and drinks out, hair and nail appointments together- it will be fab! be the best of friends!

 

[DaisyDreamer]

You have nothing to be ashamed of, you are not doing and have not done anything wrong when it comes to being a teen mom. The truth is, no matter what your situation is, people are going to have a judgment when you decide to have a kid. There will always be something someone will make you feel guilty about.

Personally I believe everything happens for a reason and in this case age shouldn't factor into account about how you feel towards this beautiful time in your life. There's no perfect age or time to have a kid. I'm pregnant with my first at 19, I'm in love with the FOB and we make it work. In spite of all that a LOT of people have something to say about our choices.

Like PP said when you become a mom age is just a number because that's not where you bond with other people! It's about your experiences so make it a great one lady

 

[Key]

Girl,
Don't be ashamed of yourself! Be proud. You're beautiful inside and out and being a mom is the best feeling ever! I was 16 years old pregnant with my daughter. She was born on April 6th, 2006 and she's beautiful and my everything! I'm not ashamed being a teen mom, my daughter is now 10 years old and I'm 26 years old expecting baby #2! My daughter is excited and wants to be a good big sister to this baby. Be proud.

 

[Nemalem]

Don't ever feel ashamed. My parents were in the same boat and they are the greatest people ever and never felt ashamed of me. Be happy

 

[Johnpet]

You have nothing to be ashamed about there are so many young girls having babies and being great mothers, your not alone and. If people want to stereotype then thats their problem you should be so proud of yourself that your bringing a life into the world!

 

[Johnpet]

Go out there, enjoy your baby and make new friends at baby groups etc. I was 21 when I had my son, so a little older than you, but still young. I was so nervous about going to baby groups but I made myself, and I'm so glad I did. My mum friends are all in their mid to late 30s, but once you've had a child age really is just a number, as you have so much in common, especially when the babies are very young. They didn't even realise how Young I was for quite a while - they knew I was young but didn't realise I was 15 years younger than them! If you go out there confidently and talk to people, it really isn't as hard as you think it will be.

Good luck

I'm glad for you

 

[nadia511]

I am in the exact same boat as you right now, almost 9 weeks along, and I feel ashamed in myself also. It's only natural, for how we feel ourself and the image the rest of society casts upon us. I've convinced myself to embrace the stereotype, so I will encourage myself to do whatever I can to be a good mother. Maybe try and adopt that mindset, I've not known I'm pregnant for long but it seems to be working for me already.
Good luck!

 

[awoam]

hugs

 

[Forrincell]

Don't feel ashamed. If your partner and parents have no issue why bother about what others might think. Don't listen to others.

 

[Jessicahide]

You have nothing to be ashamed of, you are biologically the perfect age to have a child and you will be a great mum, if anyone ever says anything to you about it, just say "the only downfall of being a teen mom, is the society of judgmental hateful people i was unlucky enough to be born into!"

 

[Ladyheader]

Dont worry dear.

 

[Walbra]

Don't feel ashamed of it and never have a negative thought in your mind as it may affect your baby.