I feel like a bitch

[lozzy21]

My best friends waters have broke and i want to be all happy and excited but im not, i feel like utter shit. She has only been with her oh for 14 months and has only came round to the idea of her being pregnant in the last few weeks.

Why dose every one else get to have a baby and i cant, Oh yer cos my oh is a fucking t**t and wont let me cos "im not ready" fucking selfish *******.

 

[princess_bump]

oh sweetie big big x x

 

[cinnamum]

aaaawwww hun big hugs x x x x

want some annoying but great advice....

"the longer you have to wait, the better it is"

x x x x x x x x

 

[AutumnRose]

Awww hugs

 

[bunnyg82]

aww lozzy, it's hard, but be happy for her, your time will come - he will change his mind I am sure! It's horrible seeing all these pregnancies around you when you don't know when it will happen for you, I do understand. But you will want your friend to be happy for you when the time comes, so do celebrate what you will be having one day! xx

 

[Purpular]

Hope you feel better soon. Isn't it horrible when you just can't make someone understand your point of view!

 

[WTTMommy]

I know what you mean! So many friends of mine have recently given birth, my sis in law is due in a couple weeks, and so is a cousin of mine. The only way I can comfort myself is to look forward to when it will be my turn, and everyone else will have already had their turn. I'm just having a hard time waiting!

 

[Drazic<3]

Aww sweety. I think we all know that feeling. It's alright to be mad, he will come round

 

[kate.m.]

My best friends waters have broke and i want to be all happy and excited but im not, i feel like utter shit. She has only been with her oh for 14 months and has only came round to the idea of her being pregnant in the last few weeks.

Why dose every one else get to have a baby and i cant, Oh yer cos my oh is a fucking t**t and wont let me cos "im not ready" fucking selfish *******.

I couldnt have put it better myself- that might as well have been me posting that! You will come to love that little baby tho- i love my friend's baby, she is the sweetest baby i have ever seen!

my OH is the same as urs. we've been together nearly 9 years!!! N he's still all "im not ready, this is supposed to be a joint decision!!" That last bit got to me! Joint decision??? Joint decision?? He's right, it bloody well isnt- its ALL his decision! I dont get a say at all!

Can anyone else relate to that?

 

[Vesta]

Stupid men. If only we could do this without them!

 

[Jewels]

I'm sure you're sick of hearing this, but he WILL come around.

 

[mandy81]

Aww hun

 

[MoonMuffin]

Aw, sorry your time will come! Just think of how much you'll really appreciate it when the time comes, how happy you'll be right off the bat. Maybe go around to see the baby and your OH with you. Spend lots of time with her, have her and the baby over a lot (when the baby is a little bit older of course) and maybe he'll get hit with baby fever!

 

[lozzy21]

Thanks girls, glad to know its not just me.

Moon muffin- iv allways got got some one else'd kids on my day of,wether its my brother, my cusin's or my cusin's little boy, iv allways got one of them, sometimes more.

Whats bugging me the most is i dont know how long iv got to wait, if i did i could do a list of things that i wanted to do before then but i could be doing a list for the next 7 years. Iv allready be waiting for 2.

She hasent had the baby yet, shes got to go in thismorning to be induced.

 

[mikababy]

Big big hugs. I have been with my OH for 5 years now and it has been a long wait (and a lot of tears, moping, and banging my head against a wall along the way). We are going to start TTC at the end of April. He has run out of excuses finally.

Are you guys getting married, going travelling, moving etc? I found that having other 'projects' on the go really helped to keep my mind focussed on things other than how much I wanted a baby. (As an example, in the past 5 years I have spent a year backpacking around the globe, moved 3 times, renovated 2 houses, got married, and had 4 different jobs!).

Hasn't he even given you any idea?? I know it's hard, but if he is being fair then he has to at least say something along the lines of "O.K, let's say that we're together and e'thing is secure job wise in 3 years time then we'll go for it". At least having something to work towards will make it feel less of a vague dream and more of a reality.

 

[mikababy]

my OH is the same as urs. we've been together nearly 9 years!!! N he's still all "im not ready, this is supposed to be a joint decision!!" That last bit got to me! Joint decision??? Joint decision?? He's right, it bloody well isnt- its ALL his decision! I dont get a say at all!

Yes, I can. I always said that every major decision was made by him, where we live, what car/house we buy, when or if we have kids etc. It got really awful - I felt like he was my Dad!!

Now though, I just have to really stand up for myself and TELL HIM that this is what I want and this is how it is going to be. I have become a LOT more assertive. Think he is finally starting to listen!

Also, this may sound awful, but if it was 9 years for me I would have had an 'accident' I'm afraid.

 

[lozzy21]

Mika we have nothing, were not getting married cos were not engaged cos hes not "ready yet" what a supprise. Were not going travling as were not that way inclined. Alltho were only renting, there is no way we could afford a house in the near future. There is nothing at all that he has said he wants to do first apart from a few holidays but nothing stopping up having holidays if we have a LO. Iv got that tipe of mam that would babysit for a week if we wanted to go away. His excuse is that hes not ready yet but has give me no idea when he might be. Oh yer he did, in 8 years apparently, needless to say i said he could think again

 

[Purpular]

Sorry to giggle at a serious problem like this but I can just imagine you telling him 'think again sonny jim!'

And aren't men buggers. Don't they know that the not knowing when and not knowing how you can sort anything hurts more than a slap in the face? I've been hinting about getting engaged for the last 2 years with all the subtlty of a large elephant with bells on and I still can't get any answers beyond 'don't want to, don't know why'. Why give a good 5 years of yourself to a bloke for nothing and only the vague promise of things to come. Grrr! You tell your man!

 

[lozzy21]

Iv told him lol. he says that he dose want to get married and have kids with me and no one else but he isent ready yet.
He knows that seeing pregnant friends upsets me and give's me extra hugs ect when we are around them, i know hes trying to be nice but it hurts even more because he dose know how much it hurts. There is a chance i could loose my job and if it happens it will put me of wanting one because of the money issuse but i realy dont want to loose my job, one i love my job, two we would struggle without my income and three it would prevent me getting another job cos iv been sacked for gross misconduct (see home relationships and finance bit in the loungey bit)

 

[kate.m.]

Also, this may sound awful, but if it was 9 years for me I would have had an 'accident' I'm afraid.

I know, it is tempting!
We met when we were really young (16 & 17) and just decided to do everything in the traditional order: went to uni, (took 4 years), got a job (took 1 year), saved up for a house (took 2 years), got married (saved up for 1 year), and now here we are, my god time flys! Its been 8 n a half years before we even knew it!

Like some of the other girls in this thread: i just dont know what we're waiting for now- other than his "say so"!