i feel like giving up...

[Carolina]

Ive had spottting for 6 days...which ive never had before and it was a weird pink colour. I was really getting exctied that this was my month! I got my first positive opk aswell!

Well the bloody evil witch just arrived...on day 21!!! I feel like giving up my cycles are completely nuts theyve gone from 27, 32, 33, 24 and now 21! I find it hard to stay optimistic and i feel like my depression is coming back, i feel useless, stupid and overemotional, its ridiculous...its not like ive had a miscarriage or was pregnant for a couple of days!

Good luck to all you girls still waiting i really hope you get your BFPs and its great to have seen so many this month!

 

[Vickie]

Hang in there, I know it's frustrating. Good luck getting your BFP in 2008!

 

[justme00]

I'm sorry Carolina! If you need to chat I'm always here. Have to spoke to a doctor about your cycles?

 

[Sinead]

The depression does sometimes come and bite you on your @rse!!! Hang in there, You will get your BFP. I agree with justme00, you may want to see a doc about your cycles. (((((HUGS)))))

 

[Samo]

I think many of us get the blues when the comes along when you're wishing hard for that miracle baby of your dreams. You aren't useless, stupid, or any of those things! Your frustration now only shows just how much love you have for your future little one, love you want to GIVE and can't wait to!!!

I have very odd cycles myself...like you, i cannot keep track. I have not been TTCing *too* long, just a couple months and so far my efforts have been futile. I haven't talked to a gyn or anyone about it (the last time i talked to her about irregular cycles, BCP was the answer that was before i started trying for a family). Before i see a specialist i was going to try and just watch my CM build up over the month and try on the days that it seems to be more abundant. I can't say it'll work, but i figure it might be worth a try for me to do this month! Of course, talking to a specialist, if you choose to do so, should put you on the right course!

Good luck!

 

[jo27]

Ahh, keep going i know it's frustrating x

 

[Carolina]

thanks guys i appreciate your support it made me cry again you are all so sweet! ive broken down in tears three times to day id ont know whats wrong with me im so overly emotional! I dont know whats goin on.

My cm or af flow always comes out if i have a bowel movement. I had a bowel movement at 1pm and when i wiped there was red bolld with a tiny dot of black. But i havnt had anything since but it was like af blood not the light pink/brown stuff ive had fr the last week and there was more of it o the tissue than ive had. In general looked like af but now nothing.

I really dont know whats going on and i am a bit worried. I have an appointment with a gynocologist in jan because i get really heavy and painful menses to the point where i nearly pass out ans sometimes cant go to work for a day or 2. My GP thinks it might be endometriosis. I came off bcp in sept to ttc so it could just be my periosd trying to regulate but this is really out of the ordinary for me.

I dont know what to think! My OH doesnt really seem to understand he says its not the end of the world, which i know it isnt but he doesnt realise that i think about it 24/7. I think sometimes guys dont understand what we go through or maybe its just my hormones talking!

My GP did bloods last cycle and said my hormones were normal i might go to the doctor after cmas just to let her know.

Sorry for the rant but OH is having a bad time with his job at the moment so i dont feel like I can tell him how bad i feel!

 

[pixielou]

Hi,

don't worry too much you should maybe check out acupuncture after it may help regulate your cylces.

That period your having sounds weird are you sure it's not an implantation bled. I would double check if I was you!

Take care!

 

[Carolina]

thats hat i thought it was all week and i was getting excited (which it tried not to but couldnt help) But because the blood today is red i dont think it could be. Can people get red blood with implantation. I dont have any cramps today and i egt bad cramps with af but my lower back is killing me. I did a test this morning which was a bfn but im finding it had to keep my urine concentrated because i keep waking uo in the middle of the night bursting for the toilet.

I do have a kind of cramp but it feels more like the sensation you get when you really need to pee except in my uterus. Dont think im pregnant though.

 

[anita665]

After coming off the bcp my cycles were all messed up too, always being a couple of days early or late. I was trying to keep track and test for ovulation but in that whole time I only got 1 month where I got a positive ovulation test. BD'ed at the right time and all and about a week after AF was due I really thought I'd get a BFP but along came a very late AF.

I know it's hard but don't give up. The only thing I think helps is to try to put it to the back of your mind. You can be ttc simply by not using contraception and reguarly bd'ing without stressing yourself with tracking your cycle and reading into symptoms every month. I know it's much easier said than done but it will happen to you eventually and in the mean time it's no good putting yourself through so much stress each month.

 

[loopylew]

aww hun, i feel for you cos i'm in the same boat with my cycles as you know. Last one was 34 days but others have been 24 and 36 so i never know when i'm ovulating. This month we're just trying to BD as much as poss, trying for every other night but i'm knackered sometimes as is DH. Yesterday i had brownish cm and today its nothing but i'm only on cd 13 so i dunno whats happening there and today i've got back ache and little front twinges so i'm not sure if i'm ovulating or whats going on. Test again in a few days rather than torturing yourself doing one again, your levels might not be high enou8gh yet.

 

[sammie18]

It will be fine i no how you feel there were many times i got really really excited and then BAM there was my period it really sucks. I wish you luck and hope you get a BFP in 2008!! Merry Christmas!

 

[miel]

HELLO CAROLINA,
Don't worry you will get there soon,i know it's very frustrating at time all the sympthoms are so much a like between the AF and early pregnancy ones but don't worry we feel the same way you do... it's normal we get exited and stuff and than the evil arrive but you know what we are stronger that the evil we have many ovules with us and ours dears husbands or boyfriends have a big big army of soldiers to combat the evil each month !!!! so relax enjoy your holidays and next month you try again ....and we will try again with you too until each of us defeat our evil one by one .
see you soon ....i think i will do my test on saturday and if does work i will try again too good luck!!!

 

[Carolina]

thank you, you are all so nice and understanding! Youve really helped calm me down! Im so glad i found this forum when i did! Everyone helps everyone and i think its lovely and i really appreciate it! My OH came homa and hes been giving me lots of hugs so i feel a bit better now...might make some chocolate brownies now too...to make me feel even better!

 

[FJL]

I'm sorry you're in that awful TTC blues mode hun I know how much it sucks and how disapointing and unfair it is. There isn't much that can be done to raise your spirits or keep you motivated when another month passes and AF visits.

I hope you feel better in a few days time and the emotional rollercoaster slows down and you get your 08 BFP

 

[poppy]

Hi Carolina - sorry that you are feeling down.

Have you tried regulating your cycle with vitamin B6? There is a thread on it in the TTC Products Review sub forum. It is supposed to be really good for regulating hormones and sorting out short luteal phases, therefore regulating when AF comes.

Have you tried using OPKs to see when you ovulate as well?

Good luck hun, I hope you feel better in time for Christmas!

 

[avistar]

I feel so bad that you have been so upset! I have been there and understand your frustration and being disappointed. Your cycles are probably crazy because you just stopped bcp. Mine were like that after I stopped. Then out of no where I went almost 3 months without a period. That was weird, and the obgyn wasn't any help. My mom told me she has always had irregular periods and it was really hard for her ttc...I wish I could remember what my cycles were like before the bcp. I only remember having cramps and bleeding so bad, like you described, having to stay home and just curl up. I think it would be good to go see the doctor and see if there are any options for you. Acupuncture would be so awesome to try! I really like it! Also, I made parsley tea to help bring on my period when I was without for 2-3 months. Maybe try drinking some when you expect your period to be.

Nothing will stop your mind from thinking about ttc and how crappy you feel when you get that BFN! That is why it is so good to have an out let of some sort, thus this forum if anything!!! Just because you didn't conceive now doesn't mean you never will. Take a deep breathe and exhale! Keep yourself healthy and your mind strong!

 

[NeyNey]

I wish you all the best sweetie, try to feel better soon

 

[Carolina]

thanks again guys i really dont know what i would do without you all! Im feeling a lot better this morning i think my hormones were playing havoc with me yesterday, i cried about 6 times somtimes over nothing! Af still hasnt arrived but i dont think its my month but im ok with that now!

Good luck to everyone who is still waiting to test this month!!

 

[Wobbles]

I dont know what to think! My OH doesnt really seem to understand he says its not the end of the world, which i know it isnt but he doesnt realise that i think about it 24/7. I think sometimes guys dont understand what we go through or maybe its just my hormones talking!

Men really annoy me sometimes. my OH made things hell for me with this attitude I know it wasn't on purpose but it felt like it at that time.

Hmmmm your spotting ... can I suggest to you to take a test on the day your AF would be due although looking on its been a bit up and down so maybe I would suggest day 30 also if you have any more bleeding/spotting between now & then just to pop and see your Gp x

Glad to see your feeling a lil better today though x