kiwi_steph
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*edited*
I feel like my heart has been broken
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R
RoseArcana
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My DF said this to me too and we are younger than you. I'm 23 and he's 22. We now have a nearly 2 year old. I found not talking about it helped first. Just let him think about it in his own head. Then mention it every few months but not 'so when are we TTC?' Just like, have you thought about it recently?
I know how tough it is, but you may be surprised. Set yourself some goals to achieve whilst you are waiting. Mine were: pass driving test, get a car, get into uni, move out etc etc. i managed a year and a half of uni before he finally changed his mind. I'm now having the same struggle discussing TTC#2 tbh.
All the best x
I know how tough it is, but you may be surprised. Set yourself some goals to achieve whilst you are waiting. Mine were: pass driving test, get a car, get into uni, move out etc etc. i managed a year and a half of uni before he finally changed his mind. I'm now having the same struggle discussing TTC#2 tbh.
All the best x
I can totally relate to this. I waited 4 years to try for my first and every time it looked like we might be getting somewhere there was some sort of setback. I know it's easy for me to say now but you have to make other things to occupy you - big trips you want to take, doing things to the house, work related things. I clearly remember how none of these things stopped me wishing for a baby but they did make the time pass. I agree with what pp said about not constantly talking about it. Left to mull it over in his own head you might be surprised that he comes round to the idea faster than he imagines.
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I'm sorry they you're hurting and struggling with waiting- I think everyone on this board can relate, I know I can. My DH and I were married for over 5 years before we started trying and there were times in that wait that really tested me. But what kept me going was the realization that life doesn't stop and what a waste it is to let it pass you by. Your OH will come around. Give him time and space and just bring it up occasionally, not constantly. But in the meantime, set goals for yourself of things you want to accomplish before baby. I really think you will regret just letting this time pass and only thinking about the future rather than living in the present.
Noodlebear
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Most 24 year olds I know aren't thinking about having children so, while I appreciate how hard this is for you, his feelings on the subject don't really surprise me. You could ask what his reasons are though. There may be more to it than him just not feeling ready and that might be something you can work on. I agree with the pp. Ultimately I think you need to give it time, he may completely change his mind. You just don't know.
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I'm sorry that you feel hurt and sad. 
And I can relate to what you're saying. I've wanted children for quite some time now and brought it up almost daily last fall. I was 23 at the time and my OH 26. He said that he wasn't ready and didn't know when he would be.
I was heartbroken. It seemed like everybody around me had babies and got married and here I was, with a loving boyfriend for more than 6 years but it felt like we just stood still. I was ready and my body sort of ached for having children but he couldn't relate to my feelings. And I stopped bringing it up even though I still felt hurt and broody inside.
After a couple of months of "silence" I brought it up again and he said that we could TTC in August 2014. This date has been changed since then and is now May.
You should sit down and have a long talk about this, how you feel and why it's important to you. Of course he has the right to feel his way too, that's why you need to talk about it.
And as other people already said, set yourself some goals. Keep yourself occupied. Time flies fast even though it doesn't feel like it.
And I can relate to what you're saying. I've wanted children for quite some time now and brought it up almost daily last fall. I was 23 at the time and my OH 26. He said that he wasn't ready and didn't know when he would be.
I was heartbroken. It seemed like everybody around me had babies and got married and here I was, with a loving boyfriend for more than 6 years but it felt like we just stood still. I was ready and my body sort of ached for having children but he couldn't relate to my feelings. And I stopped bringing it up even though I still felt hurt and broody inside.
After a couple of months of "silence" I brought it up again and he said that we could TTC in August 2014. This date has been changed since then and is now May.
You should sit down and have a long talk about this, how you feel and why it's important to you. Of course he has the right to feel his way too, that's why you need to talk about it.
And as other people already said, set yourself some goals. Keep yourself occupied. Time flies fast even though it doesn't feel like it.
Beanonorder
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My dh and I have the same age difference as you guys and we were at your ages when we got married. At that time he told me he would be ready for kids in about ten years time. I told him there was no way I was having my first child past 35 but I left it after that. After a year of marriage we moved to China and went through a lot of things. I came to a point when I told him that I was ready for kids but I was in no way putting pressure on him. Not too long after he said to me lets give it a try. Without going into details we ended up separating a few months later. We managed to sort things out and reconcile and six months later told me he was ready and we started ntnp. I was 28 and one year and one month later I gave birth to our daughter. We are now just starting to ntnp for our second - this time my dh is pretty reluctant. But after some careful conversations and a long letter he came round to agreeing.
My advice is not to bring it up too often because he'll buck against the pressure. You could try my approach and write him a letter reminding him your reasons and why its important to you. I also replied to some of the issues he'd brought up and suggested a few different times to start trying and why they would be good.
GL, I hope it happens for you soon.
My advice is not to bring it up too often because he'll buck against the pressure. You could try my approach and write him a letter reminding him your reasons and why its important to you. I also replied to some of the issues he'd brought up and suggested a few different times to start trying and why they would be good.
GL, I hope it happens for you soon.
MissN8
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I wouldn't push it if I was you. don't pressure him when he isn't ready but its up to you of course you know him. men don't like to feel pressured. why don't you just enjoy your free time now go on dates, plan holidays the things you cant do when you have a baby and don't mention it for a while he may be ready after a while
aknqtpie
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My late DH was the same way. He was never ready for children, and I was ready at a young age. We didn't start trying until I was 27, and we got pregnant pretty quick (ended in a m/c) and he passed away before I could try again. Luckily my OH now is fully in support of children.
I guess where I am getting at is, 1) talk with him more and find out what he wants to accomplish before trying (buying a house, more traveling, skydiving..whatever it may be). His mind might change when he gets older. But ultimately, if you are both not on the same wavelength about children (in that he doesn't want them), you should really think hard if you are willing to sacrifice not having kids for him, or if he is willing to give in and set a date for trying.
When I started dating again, it was one of my requirements (because I am nearly 30) to make sure that the person I started dating seriously did want to have kids, and didn't want to wait 5-10 years (because I am nearly 30). I just don't want to see you resenting him because you don't get what you desire out of a relationship, or him resenting you because you pressure him into something he does not want.
It's a tough situation to be in, I have been there.
I guess where I am getting at is, 1) talk with him more and find out what he wants to accomplish before trying (buying a house, more traveling, skydiving..whatever it may be). His mind might change when he gets older. But ultimately, if you are both not on the same wavelength about children (in that he doesn't want them), you should really think hard if you are willing to sacrifice not having kids for him, or if he is willing to give in and set a date for trying.
When I started dating again, it was one of my requirements (because I am nearly 30) to make sure that the person I started dating seriously did want to have kids, and didn't want to wait 5-10 years (because I am nearly 30). I just don't want to see you resenting him because you don't get what you desire out of a relationship, or him resenting you because you pressure him into something he does not want.
It's a tough situation to be in, I have been there.
kiwi_steph
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*edited*
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If this was happening to me I would have a talk with my oh about when they want to have children and if we are on the same page. Personally I don't know if I could wait five years to have children considering I'll be 30 in December.
Kiki1993
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Everyone here knows how you feel in some way shape or form 
My OH wants a baby but he can't hold a job, he hasn't got qualifications so he only gets shitty jobs that pay bad and are temp. Found out yest he made an apt. with the army office to talk about his options there and if he can join and work on his education while working. Not sure how i feel about this but if he wants to i can't stop him.
If he does do this the good that comes from it is things hppen sooner, but i would be on edge at all times
We have been waiting since 17 and now 21. We are young but we have been waiting 4 years, im going back to college and then uni. In my area most people have kids by my age. I wouldn't mind still being in education so long as I can still do it while he works and handles finances.
I wouldn't push him, why not hang with a friend with a baby, might get him broody lol
Or have a non pressure conversation, take him past baby aisles at the shops (the baby clothes get OH super broody and me lol)
My OH wants a baby but he can't hold a job, he hasn't got qualifications so he only gets shitty jobs that pay bad and are temp. Found out yest he made an apt. with the army office to talk about his options there and if he can join and work on his education while working. Not sure how i feel about this but if he wants to i can't stop him.
If he does do this the good that comes from it is things hppen sooner, but i would be on edge at all times
We have been waiting since 17 and now 21. We are young but we have been waiting 4 years, im going back to college and then uni. In my area most people have kids by my age. I wouldn't mind still being in education so long as I can still do it while he works and handles finances.
I wouldn't push him, why not hang with a friend with a baby, might get him broody lol
Or have a non pressure conversation, take him past baby aisles at the shops (the baby clothes get OH super broody and me lol)Similar threads
