I feel so so guilty

[CharCharxxx]

I feel so bad on my other kids at the moment. I just do not have the energy for them. To be fair over this long easter holidays we have been out most days or they have been at their sports club which they love. My middle child who is 4 said to me yesterday, "mummy why are you always on the sofa" and it made me feel terrible. I'm doing all the things that have to be done but i just don't have the strength for anything else. My OH works away on an oil rig for 3 week periods and my mum works full time so i pretty much get zero help. What's not helping is my lower back and sciatica causing me huge problems. I cant tell you how glad i will be once im full term and this baby is here so i can get back to my normal life doing normal things! I am not.one for sitting about normally im always on the go! The next 11 or so weeks needs to get a move on! X

 

[Agcam]

You're not alone, Char, and I understand the guilt.
I'm in a similar situation - work full-time, husband travels for work on a daily basis (thought not usually away for weeks at a time) and no other family around. We only have one child at the moment (other than LO, who is due in 5 weeks), and I'm struggling. You must be supermum to manage 3 others!
DS1 asked me last week why I sleep so much, and I know he feels he's not getting as much attention as he used to. With the discomfort, I'm probably also less patient than I used to be.

In the end, we can only do our best. I'm sure your kids know you love them. I talked to DS1 and explained that I'm extra tired and very uncomfortable these days, and prone to be a bit more moody, so to please excuse me.

Hang in there!

 

[Reiko_ctu]

Me too! I offered to play a game with my oldest the other day and she was so confused. “WHY do you want to play a game with me mommy? You never spend time with me!” Knife to the heart... worst mom ever!!

 

[CharCharxxx]

Thanks for your replies ladies. It really is so so hard to juggle and find a balance isnt it. We have been indoors the past couple of days as DD has a virus and i feel like all I've done is lay down inbetween getting medicine and drinks for her. I feel so bad on them. Luckily my OH is home in a week and he is very hands on and does everything with them all the time so that will take the heat off me for a little while. Come on July I've had enough of pregnancy now!! X

 

[mamawanabe21]

I’m being an awful mum atm. I have severe PGP and SPD, and back problems, all caused by pregnancy! This is my 2nd successful pregnancy and honestly the pain is 100x worse than with DD. Some days I can barely move from the sofa. DD is 4 so I’ve explained her baby sister makes me feel tired and I get a lot of pain and she understands for the most part - she’s actually very tentative. OH on the other hand tells me just to man up 😫

 

[Agcam]

I’m being an awful mum atm. I have severe PGP and SPD, and back problems, all caused by pregnancy! This is my 2nd successful pregnancy and honestly the pain is 100x worse than with DD. Some days I can barely move from the sofa. DD is 4 so I’ve explained her baby sister makes me feel tired and I get a lot of pain and she understands for the most part - she’s actually very tentative. OH on the other hand tells me just to man up 😫

Oooh....if OH tried to tell me to man up, I'd be more than happy to show him what SPD feels like

Can you see an osteopath or chiropractor for your PGP? It has helped with the back pain for me, though she told me that she can't do anything about the symphysis pubis joint (pain at the front), and I'd just have to deal with it.

 

[CharCharxxx]

I’m being an awful mum atm. I have severe PGP and SPD, and back problems, all caused by pregnancy! This is my 2nd successful pregnancy and honestly the pain is 100x worse than with DD. Some days I can barely move from the sofa. DD is 4 so I’ve explained her baby sister makes me feel tired and I get a lot of pain and she understands for the most part - she’s actually very tentative. OH on the other hand tells me just to man up 😫

Oh hun i hope it eases up for you soon. Men are unbelievable sometimes aren't they, they literally have no clue! That's lovely your DD is so understanding bless her. I wish mine was, shes 7 in August and is such a demanding little madam sometimes! X

 

[bcos21]

Right here with you. I feel like im letting down both my kids. They are super demanding, the house looks crap and i havent been taking them to the library classes and things they are used to. My husband hasnt picked up any of the slack and isn't very empathetic. We just keep trying i guess?

 

[flowergirl7]

Mom guilt is real. I feel like I can’t give my kids enough attention because I’m so tired sometimes. I just try to do stuff in the mornings when I have more energy or try to plan things in advance so I can prepare myself. Luckily this is the best my husband has ever been during one of my pregnancies. I don’t know what got into him.

 

[mamawanabe21]

I’m being an awful mum atm. I have severe PGP and SPD, and back problems, all caused by pregnancy! This is my 2nd successful pregnancy and honestly the pain is 100x worse than with DD. Some days I can barely move from the sofa. DD is 4 so I’ve explained her baby sister makes me feel tired and I get a lot of pain and she understands for the most part - she’s actually very tentative. OH on the other hand tells me just to man up 😫

Oooh....if OH tried to tell me to man up, I'd be more than happy to show him what SPD feels like

Can you see an osteopath or chiropractor for your PGP? It has helped with the back pain for me, though she told me that she can't do anything about the symphysis pubis joint (pain at the front), and I'd just have to deal with it.

I've offered to kick OH in the balls, so he can feel what it's like to be told to just man up. Honestly, sometimes he's so thoughtless it really upsets me but I think it's the hormones. Lol

I've tried the Chiropractor but it only really helped for a few hours, and the pain was higher the day after. I was referred to a spinal specailist and he thinks I'll probably need surgery from permanent damage, but there's no way to tell until baby is here It's miserable! Definitely willing to try methods of natural induction once I hit 37 weeks. I turned down my consultants offer of induction at 37 weeks because I'd really like to know what natural spontaneous labour feels like but I'm beginning to think I'll be regretting that decision soon haha!

 

[Agcam]

I've tried the Chiropractor but it only really helped for a few hours, and the pain was higher the day after. I was referred to a spinal specailist and he thinks I'll probably need surgery from permanent damage, but there's no way to tell until baby is here It's miserable! Definitely willing to try methods of natural induction once I hit 37 weeks. I turned down my consultants offer of induction at 37 weeks because I'd really like to know what natural spontaneous labour feels like but I'm beginning to think I'll be regretting that decision soon haha!

Oh, it sounds like you have a really bad case. I'm so sorry - it must be horrid. It's bad enough without spinal damage. I hope you end up not needing surgery.
I wish there was a fool-proof method of natural induction. I guess we have to try several and hope that one of them works.

 

[mamawanabe21]

I don’t think anything works until baby is ready to come anyway but it’s fun trying

 

[Agcam]

I don’t think anything works until baby is ready to come anyway but it’s fun trying

Agree....and hope springs eternal

 

[drcaldwel]

You're really not alone and most of the moms understand you. You need to have rest to feel happy and if you are happy, your children will be happy. Maybe you should reduce home work (like cleaning the house) or don't do it perfectly but spend this time resting and communicating with children.