I had my little one

[Calambria]

..

 

[SleepyBaby]

Sounds like the highest rated arse ever It takes any man to become a father, but it takes a man with a back bone and morals to become a daddy!

Your little one has one strong mummy tho! instead of sitting in a corner crying your out looking for answers and getting the wee dude sorted, i have no advice and i cant say anything of use so im sending you a pat on the back, a high five and lots of hugs

 

[whatwillbe]

Congratts on your beautiful son so sorry he wasn't so well , his sad excuse of a "dad" doesn't deserve to be a part of his life, you will be a great mommy without him x

 

[Dezireey]

You need to just enjoy your beautiful boy now. I wish I had spent the first few weeks after my boys birth not focusing on his shit excuse of a father as I could have felt more happy than i did if I had let it go. To be honest, these babies wont be affected in the bloody slightest by an absent father for at least the first few years of their life! I dont know why us ladies bother let these crappy FOB's affect us during our baby's early years anyway! Dont let the loser take up one minute of your thinking time hun. Think of all the lovely times with your new bubba. I swear me and my boy, things just get better and better all the time. All you can do is your best for them, you tried with his dad. Enjoy your little one congratulations! xx

 

[gracexxx]

Congratulations on the birth of your little bundle of joy! I wish you and your son the best of luck for the future, it's not going to be easy but it will be worth it, my LO is 9months her dad has never been around but I just love her soo much I honestly don't care about her father anymore it's his loss. Your FOB sounds like such a poor excuse for a man, a total, total waste of space. I don't understand anyone that doesn't think of their own child as their first priority. When I'd given birth to my daughter I text FOB whilst I was in hospital... He just said he couldn't see her as he was working, says it all really!! These men don't deserve to be fathers anyway as their such selfish tossers!

 

[lemontree12]

congratulations on the birth of your little boy and congratualtions on being an amazing brave mummy! you should be so proud of yourself, giving birth alone is hard enough, without adding all the worrying you have got for your son on top of that. you should be so proud of yourself for being so strong.
as for that poor excuse of a human, its hard to do, as iv been there begging to come visit u when we were in hospital and his response was 'i need to go away and think about it' do not spend another moment wasted on him. you have gave him a chance and any decent person would not of needed to be asked. i truely illbelieve one day these waste of space men will come crawling demanding to see their see their 'kids'.

continue to stay strong xxxx

 

[Dezireey]

Forgot to say, I truly believe we are blessed, having a baby is a wonderful thing for a woman to accomplish, so be very proud of yourself. I've never known such lovely happiness as when I'm with my LO, just him and me cuddling up together. It feels like my heart will explode with all the love I have for him, you will have tough times and great times but above all, you, not his father will be loved by your little man unconditionally, such a gift!

Who needs men!

 

[Danie1stbaby]

This broke me down into tears,I am pure water anyways So glad that baby is healthy otherwise and now you get to enjoy being a new mother.Embrace it~ I believe the good man machine is broken,there are just too many losers in one world.Omg I believe they are aliens that took human form...what human being could not be there for their flesh and blood?? regardless of what you two went through he should of been there.Yet,him not coming might be the best decision he has ever made because that prince of yours deserves better.Better to not know his dad,than to have a in and out type fo dad.You will be an amazing mother!

@dezireey my pont exactly,I was miserable in the beginning and regret it so much.New moms and their hormones,it's hard not to,but you gotta push through it.

 

[Calambria]

I'm trying really hard not to focus on him but the absence of Mateo having his father just breaks my heart in two. I could give 2 shits if his dad hates me...It's whatever. But this beautiful little man is innocent and he deserves all the love and caring in the world.

He's 11 days old and doing so well...His dad hasn't called. Last night I had a really pissed off moment and I called him. Well, I tried. He changed his phone number. I just stared at my phone, stunned. He's a bit of a fool if he thinks he can escape financial responsibility at least when the divorce is final, as Mateo is receiving state medical benefit...They will pursue him for child support, in fact the stipulation is that I cooperate with them on that or benefits cease.

Ugh...Thank you so much for the support...I hate that I'm even writing this. That there's people in this world that could have their flesh and blood in the NICU and not even call to see if they're ok. It really makes me lose hope..And I know it's not fair but part of me wants to just lump all these men together...And I don't want to become a man hater...But right now I feel like one.

I won't let this douche bag ruin my experience with my LO. Hell fuck to the no. But to push it back any further in my head...That's a challenge.

 

[Dezireey]

I'm trying really hard not to focus on him but the absence of Mateo having his father just breaks my heart in two. I could give 2 shits if his dad hates me...It's whatever. But this beautiful little man is innocent and he deserves all the love and caring in the world.

He's 11 days old and doing so well...His dad hasn't called. Last night I had a really pissed off moment and I called him. Well, I tried. He changed his phone number. I just stared at my phone, stunned. He's a bit of a fool if he thinks he can escape financial responsibility at least when the divorce is final, as Mateo is receiving state medical benefit...They will pursue him for child support, in fact the stipulation is that I cooperate with them on that or benefits cease.

Ugh...Thank you so much for the support...I hate that I'm even writing this. That there's people in this world that could have their flesh and blood in the NICU and not even call to see if they're ok. It really makes me lose hope..And I know it's not fair but part of me wants to just lump all these men together...And I don't want to become a man hater...But right now I feel like one.

I won't let this douche bag ruin my experience with my LO. Hell fuck to the no. But to push it back any further in my head...That's a challenge.

What you need to overcome (and you will in time, you have no choice) is this anger and shock and total disgust that a person can do this. I spent ages trying my damnest to understand why my FOB did what he did. How can someone who held my hand,told me he loved me and that I was his world turn his back on me like that and in such an abhorrent way?. When I tell any men I know about my situation (an old ex recently got in touch and some male friends) they just are disgusted by his behaviour, they totally don't understand how a man can do that. I texted him when I went into labour and that feeling, when you look at that blank message screen for days afterwards, it hurts like hell. I speak to him now, he sees LO sometimes but the ******* still thinks he's done nothing wrong, he's justified it all because he has problems.

In time hun, you will get through this and then the happiness of your baby takes over and then you start planning for the future and you start thinking things like 'oh wow, I would go through it all again with that shitty man just to have my baby'. Try not to let that feeling of your baby needing his Dad right now bother you. He is tiny, he hasn't a clue he even has a dad, all he wants is mummy anyway. By the time the questions start and the 'daddy' questions kick off, you'll be a bit older, wiser and able to deal with it all much, much better. So try not to worry too much about how your son needs a Dad, right now, he just doesn't need him, he just needs you to look after him, enjoy your little one

 

[Calambria]

Yes...The anger and shock...I hope it's coming to a head now as he gave me even more...In a way I feel some sort of peace now, he finally verbalized it...

He told me the other day that he will not be a father to LO because he hates me. He said he doesn't want to know his name, nothing. He went on and on to tell me what a disgusting person I was and how much animosity he has towards me(personally I think this is projection here). He said that he would serve me with the divorce papers to which I said good...because I don't have your address, and we can get child support rolling as well...And he said "I'll just terminate my parental rights."(I don't think he understands you can't do that here - I'd have to be remarried with a husband willing to adopt).

So there's no guessing room anymore, you see? I can't hold a little hope in the back of my head that he might be a decent man/father to his child. It was a shock when I heard this at first. Every limb of mine just went cold, but then I started to feel some relief. I want him to stay away, really, for the first time...I think he would royally screw my son up emotionally and mentally...

Yes, everyone else thinks this is absolutely repulsive behavior, just like your friends do. I'm ashamed to say this is the man I married. I'm embarrassed of him. But one beautiful thing came from that and it's my sweet little boy. That's the only thing he was good for, his sperm.

I think we'll be ok...I would rather him fatherless...Than a toxic dad.